Queer as a Five-Dollar Bill - The Book

QUEER AS A FIVE-DOLLAR BILL

“A tapestry of the gay teenage experience—frayed edges repaired with earnest love and care.” —Kirkus Reviews

Wyatt is fifteen, and nobody in his homophobic small town of Lincolnville, Oregon, knows that he’s gay. Not even his best friend (and accidental girlfriend) Mackenzie.

Then he discovers a secret from actual history: Abraham Lincoln was in love with another guy! Since everyone loves Lincoln, Wyatt’s sure that if the world knew about it, they would treat gay people differently and it would solve everything about his life. So Wyatt outs Lincoln online, triggering a media firestorm and conservative backlash that threaten to destroy everything he cares about.

Now Wyatt has to pretend more than ever that he’s straight (because no one will believe a gay kid saying Lincoln was gay). Only then he meets Martin, who is openly gay and who just might be the guy Wyatt’s been hoping to find. Will Wyatt stay closeted to change the world, or will he let Abraham Lincoln’s gay romance fade back into history and take his own chance at love?

This nineteenth- and twenty-first-century coming-of-age, coming out story was inspired by real historical evidence that Abraham Lincoln was in love—romantic love—with another man. QUEER AS A FIVE-DOLLAR BILL asks LGBTQ teens (and everyone else), What if you knew a secret from history that could change the world?

“Compelling… with highly empathetic characters in Wyatt and his friends. Was Abraham Lincoln gay? Readers of this intriguing and readable novel will decide for themselves.” —Michael Cart, ALA Booklist

“I LOVE the characters.” —Alex Sanchez, author of 8 teen novels, including the groundbreaking gay teen “Rainbow Boys” trilogy

“Riveting… [and] filled with laugh-out-loud moments.” —BookLife Prize

“This one should get people talking! I hope this book…finds the large audience it deserves.” —Brent Hartinger, author of 12 novels, including the groundbreaking gay teen novel “Geography Club”

Fans of Becky Albertalli’s Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda and What If It’s Us shouldn’t miss Queer as a Five-Dollar Bill!


Editorial Reviews:

National Indie Excellence Award Winner Best Book: LGBTQ for Children & Young Adults

A Book Life Prize Semi-Finalist, one of Publishers Weekly’s Top Five Independently Published Middle Grade and Young Adult Books of 2018

“Wind’s engaging, utterly enjoyable tale of teen self-discovery is riveting both for its well-structured, historically based plot and its emotional honesty. . . . Wind’s polished prose is filled with laugh-out-loud moments. . . . A resonant and admirably crafted work.” —Book Life Prize

“The premise is a real hook . . . with real potential to influence and educate, on top of entertaining. . . . A tapestry of the gay teenage experience—frayed edges repaired with earnest love and care.” —Kirkus Reviews

“Bound to spark curiosity . . . A sympathetic novel that will change the way young readers look at history and the lessons it has to teach.” —Foreword Reviews

“Compelling… with highly empathetic characters in Wyatt and his friends. Was Abraham Lincoln gay? Readers of this intriguing and readable novel will decide for themselves.” —Michael Cart, ALA Booklist

“All the more impressive when considering that it is author Lee Winds’ debut as a novelist. Entertaining, thought-provoking, Queer as a Five-Dollar Bill is recommended for school and community library YA fiction collections. —Midwest Book Review

“Lee Wind has written a courageous novel about facing truth, both in history and in yourself. I applaud this important book.” —Ellen Wittlinger, author of 14 novels, including the Lambda Literary Award– and Printz Honor Award–winning “Hard Love”

“This powerful novel combines raw emotion with detailed historical evidence. Readers will be drawn into Wyatt’s story as he struggles with being true to himself, and come out the other side questioning who writes the history we learn. Speaking truth to power, indeed. Queer as a Five-Dollar Bill belongs in every library that serves teens.” —Yapha Mason, school librarian and two-time Newbery Medal judge

“I loved Queer as a Five Dollar Bill! The twists and turns of Wyatt’s experiences, both of pondering his own sexuality and of attempting to bring questions about Lincoln’s experiences to light, make this an exciting story. . . . Will keep any reader turning the pages. Highly recommended!” —Elisabeth Abarbanel, school librarian for grades 7-12

Publishers Weekly’s September 2018 Indie Success Story: “Bringing History into the Light” https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/authors/pw-select/article/78104-bringing-history-into-the-light-an-indie-success-story.html


Author Bio:

Lee Wind is the founding blogger and publisher of I’m Here. I’m Queer. What The Hell Do I Read?, an award-winning website about books, culture, and empowerment for Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, Questioning and Queer youth, and their Allies. For over 11 years, readers from 100-plus countries have racked up 2.6 million page views—and counting!

QUEER AS A FIVE-DOLLAR BILL is Lee’s debut novel, and readers describe it as “a love letter for history geeks” that “perfectly captures teen angst,” “had my heart racing,” and helped them feel “less alone.”

In his “Clark Kent” jobs, Lee is the director of marketing and programming at the Independent Book Publishers Association and the official blogger for the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators.

Lee’s “Superhero” job is writing. Fans of QUEER AS A FIVE-DOLLAR BILL say, “I felt a magical bond with the story”, “I absolutely loved this book,” and that Lee Wind’s “can't-put-it-down” writing ”gripped me emotionally” and “will pull you in and have you wondering about the truth of history.“

Lee lives in Los Angeles with his husband and their teenage daughter. He loves featuring fan art, #queerhistoryiseverywhere snapshots, and photos of GSAs and book clubs reading and discussing #queerasafivedollarbill

Visit him online at:

www.leewind.org

Twitter: https://twitter.com/leewind
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/leewind
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamleewind/



QUEER AS A FIVE-DOLLAR BILL
by Lee Wind
I’m Here. I’m Queer. What The Hell Do I Read?
Distributed by BookBaby
Publish Date: October 2, 2018
ISBN:
978-1-7322281-0-8 (Hardcover) | $25.99
978-1-7322281-1-5 (Paperback) | $13.99
978-1-7322281-2-2 (eBook) | $6.99
Also available as an Audiobook | $19.95
Ages 14 & Up

Available wherever books are sold.

Links to buy the book:
Indiebound: https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781732228115

Barnes & Noble / Nook: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/queer-as-a-five-dollar-bill-lee-wind/1129124085?ean=9781732228115

Amazon / Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/Queer-Five-Dollar-Bill-Lee-Wind/dp/1732228116
Audible (Audiobook): https://www.audible.com/pd/Queer-as-a-Five-Dollar-Bill-Audiobook/B07KRP2C89

Kobo (eBook) - https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/queer-as-a-five-dollar-bill
Kobo (Audiobook) - https://www.kobo.com/us/en/audiobook/queer-as-a-five-dollar-bill-1

Audiobooks.com: https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/queer-as-a-five-dollar-bill/360622

Also available on iBooks as an eBook and Audiobook.

Read the "Indie Success" September 2018 feature in Publishers Weekly on "Queer as a Five-Dollar Bill" here!

Keywords:

Gay Teen Romance

Gay Teen Books

Gay Teen Coming of Age

Gay Teen Fiction

Coming Out

Abraham Lincoln

Gay History


BISAC Codes:

YAF031000 YOUNG ADULT FICTION / LGBT

YAF052040 YOUNG ADULT FICTION / Romance / LGBT

YAF011000 YOUNG ADULT FICTION / Coming of Age

YAF058020 YOUNG ADULT FICTION / Social Themes / Bullying

The Red Sheet - A Bully Wakes Up One Day A Different Person... With A Crush On The Guy He Used To Bully

The Red Sheet by Mia Kerick

One October morning, high school junior Bryan Dennison wakes up a different person—helpful, generous, and chivalrous—a person whose new admirable qualities he doesn’t recognize. Stranger still is the urge to tie a red sheet around his neck like a cape.

Bryan soon realizes this compulsion to wear a red cape is accompanied by more unusual behavior. He can’t hold back from retrieving kittens from tall trees, helping little old ladies cross busy streets, and defending innocence anywhere he finds it.

Shockingly, at school, he realizes he used to be a bully. He’s attracted to the former victim of his bullying, Scott Beckett, though he has no memory of Scott from before “the change.” Where he’d been lazy in academics, overly aggressive in sports, and socially insecure, he’s a new person. And although he can recall behaving egotistically, he cannot remember his motivations.

Everyone, from his mother to his teachers to his “superjock” former pals, is shocked by his dramatic transformation. However, Scott Beckett is not impressed by Bryan’s newfound virtue. And convincing Scott he’s genuinely changed and improved, hopefully gaining Scott’s trust and maybe even his love, becomes Bryan’s obsession.

Add your review of "The Red Sheet" in comments!

Former Homophobic Bully Comes Out As Gay, and Apologizes

This was fascinating.

As reported at Logo's New Now Next site,

"a former middle-school bully revealed that he’s now gay, and wrote an open letter of apology to the classmate he tormented with anti-gay remarks." This former bully, "James," wrote,

"If you’re in my situation, please don’t resort to verbal abuse over things that scare/ frighten you, be strong, talk to people in a civilized manner, and open up to them.

I know I’m gay, I think I bullied Nate so much because I was afraid of being like this, I wanted to be the strong straight kid my dad always wanted."

"James" wishes he could apologize to the boy he harassed:

"Again I can’t apologies [sic] to Nate now, but if I could I would want to tell him this: I’m sorry for all the verbal harassment I put you through, the truth is I always thought you were pretty cool and sort of attractive, and that frustrated me."

That stopped me in my tracks. The kid bullying Nate thought Nate was attractive?!? And that was what fueled much of the meanness??? WOW.





Let that sink in for a moment.

"the truth is I always thought you were pretty cool and sort of attractive, and that frustrated me."




Wow.


"James" goes on to address those who are being bullied right now and hopes they can stay strong.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, those who bully you or insult you are most often then not having an identity crisis,” he writes. “I’m here for you now, and want to know that you’re perfect just the way you are.”

Yes.

What a shame "James" couldn't have figured that out sooner, without making Nate's life miserable.

Here's to epiphanies for all the kids and teens who are acting like bullies!

Lee

Another F-Word - A Young Man Comes of Age and Comes Out

Another F-Word by Lissa Brown


Growing up in the 1990s in the rural Bible Belt, Rory Calhoun Wilson is the antithesis of his 1950s cowboy namesake. He loathes sports, NASCAR and everything else his father adores, putting the two on a collision course fueled by Darrell Wilson’s contempt for his son’s emerging homosexuality.

How can Rory triumph over being labeled and bullied to become an out and empowered young man?

This book was published by the author.  You can add your review of "Another F-Word" in comments!

Stop Bullying Me! - A Manga Where A Boy Falls For His Brother's (Not-So-Nice) Best Friend

Stop Bullying Me! by Natsuho Shino

In Stop Bullying Me!, simple and straight-forward Tomo can’t help but love his kind and popular older brother, Ei. Tomo follows Ei wherever he goes but is constantly harassed by Ei’s best friend, Izumi. Despite Izumi’s belittling words and light physical assaults, Tomo eventually realizes he has feelings for Izumi and must discover if love can blossom from their mutual animosity.

At first glance, this manga is a sweet and simple love story. There are many heart-warming romantic moments and deep reflections on how family relationships grow and change when people start new relationships. Perhaps the most compelling element of this manga is the faithful brotherly relationship between Tomo and Ei. Not many stories authentically portray a happy sibling dynamic, but Tomo and Ei’s loyal love for each other is real, precious, and inspiring.

My one concern with this manga is the light-hearted approach it takes with the very serious issue of bullying. (Get ready… I’m about to step on my soap box and rant for a while!) Being harassed as a young person or adult can result in significant damage to a person’s physical, emotional, and mental health. Like Tomo, some real-life victims of bullying develop confused feelings of attraction for their tormentors. In addition, many try to change themselves so as to become invisible or please those who hurt them. These painful realities often result in significant damage to self-esteem and can harm a person’s ability to engage in fulfilling relationships with others. I fear that stories like this manga, if taken too seriously, might reinforce rather than challenge a disempowering response to harassment. I don’t want to be too harsh- this manga was indeed a cute story! But rather than read about someone who falls in love with his abuser and lives happily ever after, I want a story where a victim of bullying finds the strength in himself to survive hardship, cultivate the support of allies, and create a safe space for himself where he can build love with someone who treats him with the respect he deserves.

Stop Bullying Me! is complete in one volume.  The book contains some suggestive language and I would have felt comfortable reading it when I was fourteen.

Review by Aaron Walsh.  Add your review of "Stop Bullying Me!" in comments!

The Real Teen Voices Series: Vicious, Rage and Pressure

Vicious: True Stories by Teens About Bullying

Rage: True Stories by Teens About Anger

and

Pressure: True Stories by Teens About Stress

The Real Teen Voices series offers a window into the lives of inner-city teens. In these books — Vicious, Pressure, and Rage — teen writers open up to tell personal stories that tackle difficult, real-life issues related to bullying, stress, and anger. The essays were written by teens in an intensive writing program at Youth Communication, a nonprofit organization in New York City that helps marginalized youth develop their full potential through reading and writing.

The essays in Vicious: True Stories by Teens About Bullying address every type of bullying: physical, verbal, relational, and cyber. These writers experience cruelty and hurt—Kiara and her friends are terrorized by a cyberbully, Jeremiyah is attacked for being gay, and Elie fights back so hard against bullying he becomes a bully himself—but their essays reveal resilience. Also included, a therapist offers tips on what adults can do to help stop bullying.

Vicious includes:

“Gay on the Block” by Jeremiyah Spears
Harassed for being gay, Jeremiyah finds ways to maintain his self-worth

“A Place to Belong” by Lavell Pride
Lavell finds a supportive LGBTQ program that gives her the strength and courage to be herself


The teen writers in Rage: True Stories by Teens About Anger have plenty of reasons to be angry: parental abuse, street violence, peer pressure, and more. Their stories express rage honestly, but also show examples of anger management for teens. Read stories like “Ready to Fight” from Joseph, who was physically and sexually abused, but whose rage subsides when he finds a foster mom who respects him, and Shateek, who learns to channel his anger into success on the wrestling mat. He writes, “When my grandmother died and I was taken from my family, I felt like I was the only person in the world; I didn’t want to talk to anybody. I got in to a lot of trouble in school because I wasn’t able to control my anger . . . Wrestling taught me how to control my anger on and off the mat, and I was happy I could fight without getting in trouble for it.”

Rage includes:

“Taming My Anger” by Tray T.
Being gay in foster care has taken Tray’s struggles to a whole new level, but with the help of staff members at his group home, Tray finds less destructive ways to deal with his emotions.


In Pressure: True Stories by Teens About Stress, stress hits teens from all angles—at school, at home, and in their relationships. The essayists describe how stress has affected them and how they persevere through it, for example, Ashunte writes poetry to cope with the mental strain of being abused, and Ngan-Fong teaches herself to enjoy the moment, instead of pushing herself so hard to succeed that she never feels happy. The book includes tips and techniques for stress relief.

Pressure includes:

“Tears of a Clown” by Eugene Han
Eugene’s carefree persona masks the pain of a childhood burdened by adult responsibilities, including an incarcerated mother and coming to terms with his sexuality.


Add your review of "Vicious," "Rage" or "Pressure" in comments!

The Watch Dog - A Bully Goes Back Home And Has To Deal With His Gay Brother

The Watch Dog by Sandy Lo

Garrett “Rett” Baker has taken one too many wrong turns in life that slam him into a dead-end. He finds himself forced to return to his small town life in middle Tennessee where he left behind broken relationships and bad memories. With plans to leave as soon as he saves some cash, Garrett finds himself living in his deceased grandmother’s home.

Bittersweet memories come rushing back to Garrett, and the ghosts of his past begin to haunt him. The one thing from his childhood he keeps trying to find–his long gone mutt, Brownie, seems to be what is leading him to places he doesn’t want to go, and people he never wanted to see again.

This book was published by the author.  Add your review of "The Watch Dog" in comments!

Shane Koyczan's To This Day Project: A Poem (and Animation) About Name Calling

This is remarkable, and reminds me of the power of Poetry:




You can find out more about Shane and the To This Day Project here.

Namaste,
Lee


ps - My thanks to Kris for sharing it with me, so I could share it with all of you.

It Starts With One - a great video about ending Bullying!

Watch this - it's one minute long.

"It starts with one.  Be that one."

YES!

This video was one of a number submitted to the Stop Bullying Video Challenge - great stuff!
My thanks to Cheryl Rainfield for the tweet about this!

Namaste,
Lee

Arizona Principal Punishes High School Boys for Fighting... by making them HOLD HANDS

Here's the full story of what happened last week.

"...the two students at Westwood High School in Mesa, Ariz., who have not been named, were faced with the prospect of either suspension from school, or sitting in chairs in the high school's courtyard and holding hands for 15 minutes during a lunch period. They opted for the latter.

"Kids were laughing at them and calling them names, asking, 'Are you gay?'" student Brittney Smyers told ABC affiliate KNXV.

Teens at the high school inevitably posted photos of the two, who spent the time shielding their faces with their heads in their hands, to social media sites."

Wow.   This says so much. 

And I have some things to say, too.

1.  As a culture we are so messed up about gay people.  The idea that the most humiliating thing possible for a young man would be having people think he was gay is TOXIC, and we have to change that.

2.  By offering this "humiliation" to the students as an option instead of being suspended, the school is acknowledging (and reinforcing) the idea that to be gay - or to be perceived as gay - is bad.

3.   What impact did this have on the queer students at the school?  Can you imagine how unsafe and homophobic the environment must be now?

4.  This shaming of gay people must stop.

5.  The fact that the other students uploaded photos of these two guys holding hands online, so they could share the humiliation on a broader level takes the old-fashioned idea of putting criminals in a public square in stocks into our technologically-driven century.  The two students hid their faces the entire time.

6.  This story makes me equal parts furious and sad.

7.  I wonder if the high school had a Gay-Straight Alliance club, if something like this might not have happened.

Ironically, the high school has an online form so students can, as it says on their website, "Stand Up To Bullying."  

I hope many of the students there fill this out, and cite the Principal's actions.  Because this didn't only affect the two students covering their faces in shame.  This affected the entire school community. 

And it's bullying.

Namaste,
Lee

Kamikaze Boys - Two Teen Guys Fall in Love... and Fight Back Against their Bullies

 Kamikaze Boys by Jay Bell

If the world is against you, don’t give up. Find yourself a kindred spirit.  Then you can start fighting back.

They say Connor, the one with the crazy eyes and creepy scar, tried to kill his old man. Lately he’s been seen hanging out with David, the gay guy who always eats lunch alone. They make an odd pair, the loser and the psychopath, and bad things happen to people who mess with them. Not that Connor and David are looking for trouble. Even when taking on the world, they seem more interested in each other than fighting.

Kamikaze Boys is a story about breaking the chains that bind you and using them to beat down anyone that gets in your way. Better yet, it’s about holding hands with the guy you love while doing so.

"Kamikaze Boys" is self-published by the author.  Add your review in comments!

Bully At The Blackboard - The issue of TEACHERS being the bully

This Article, "Bully at the Blackboard" from The Southern Poverty Law Center's Teaching Tolerance project, has some pretty stunning (in a bad way) stuff in it, including:

a teacher who teases a student for being messy, saying

“Your area looks like a pig sty. Piggy, piggy! Oink, oink!”

goading the other children to taunt him

with “oinks” and other pig sounds. Alone in the center, the boy was sobbing.

It also mentions a

2005 study in which 45 percent of sampled teachers said they had bullied a student at some point in their careers.

It's worth reading and considering the power teachers have... and how we need to make sure the teachers are not the bullies!

It makes you think about YOUR school experience in a whole new light, doesn't it?
 
Namaste,
Lee

ps - my thanks to Jasmine for letting me know about this article.

Highlighting Resources: Bullying Research by Jaana Juvonen at UCLA

I had the opportunity to hear Professor Juvonen speak about her research, and this excellent article covers some fascinating aspects of bullying!

There's the stunning take-away of how she discovered that the cool kids WERE the bullies, and how

The bully-coolness connection...is virtually nonexistent in elementary school and suddenly appears in the sixth grade, the first year of middle school. 

and

"...bullying is not a problem of specific individuals. Bullying is a collective problem. We need to address the social dynamics."

and

"Bullies can stop being bullies, and victims can stop being victims," Juvonen said. "What we’ve learned is that these are temporary social roles, not permanent personality characteristics."

It's well worth reading, and includes some great to-dos, including

Think if there might be another way to provide them with a sense of control and power other than being mean to others," she suggested. "I’ve seen some very clever teachers do that. When they see a kid who’s constantly on the case of other kids, these clever teachers give this kid a special role" that channels the bully’s energies more positively.

and

For lonely kids with a propensity for becoming victims, having just one friend may be enough to protect them.

 

"We have to start thinking about meaningful buddy programs that connect them with somebody," Juvonen said, "to make sure that there’s somebody at the school who says ‘Hi!’ in the morning rather than punching them." 

Lots of inspiration in this!

Namaste,

Lee

The Geeks Shall Inherit The Earth - An Incredible Non Fiction Book about Bullying and "outsider" status

I cannot say enough good things about The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth: Popularity, Quirk Theory, and Why Outsiders Thrive After High School by Alexandra Robbins.

If you're a teen dealing with the pressures to fit in... read it.

If you're a parent wanting to support your child... read it.

If you're a teacher or educator and you want a deeper understanding both of what's going on with teens and bullying, and how you can help make things better... read it.


The book is nonfiction, but reads like a great story, following five main individuals from among the thousands of interviews Alexandra did.  It also includes a lot of great research and supporting points.  My copy from the library ended up with tons of sticky note markers and scribbled scraps of paper bookmarks throughout, so I could share just a taste of how great it is. 

Here are some of the moments that really jumped out at me:

"Nothing is more unnerving to the truly conventional than the unashamed misfit."
- J.K. Rowling, as quoted on page 7

“Elementary school taught us that variety is what makes the world beautiful. In high school, variety is weird and conformity is survival.”
- High School Junior Beth Ann, as quoted on page 313

“Being gay sucks because you’re forced into silence. People assume that straight people fall in love and gay people have sex. Even my mother says, ‘I don’t understand why gay people have to come out. It’s none of anyone’s business what you do in bed,’ as if being gay is a fetish or something and only pertains to the bedroom.”
Regan, as quoted on page 93

“At school, Einstein wrote, being bullied gave him “a lively sense of being an outsider.” Although he earned good grades, he was so uncomfortable with the “mechanical,” militaristic teaching style, which was devoid of creativity, that his obvious aversion to it led teachers to push him out of school before graduation... Being an outsider helped Einstein immensely: because he wasn’t accepted into the physics establishment, he had nothing to lose by challenging the status quo… Einstein developed the theory of relativity precisely because of his different way of thinking…”

She quoted a Wired article by Isaacson, “What made Einstein special was his impertinence, his nonconformity, and his distaste for dogma. Einstein’s genius reminds us that a society’s competitive advantage comes not from teaching the multiplication or periodic tables but from nurturing rebels. Grinds have their place, but unruly geeks change the world.” pg. 162-163

“I’m happy to be part of a culture where the guys who were made fun of in high school are now the ones the jocks go to see onstage.” - Pete Wentz, frontman for Fall Out Boy, who said of his high school, “I was pretty outcast, but a lot of it was by choice. I was kind of a geek… I looked weird."  He has been open about his depression and stints in therapy. “I like the idea that everyone can get depressed and that there is a way to get through it.” Said Wentz. pg. 167

And the research Alexandra cites is amazing.

Like this fascinating discussion of group favoritism, and the 1954 Robbers Cave State Park study in Oklahoma. They divided a bunch of eleven year old boys into two groups and how, pitted against each other, the groups became enemies. And perhaps even more interesting, how, after that, once the boys from both groups were teamed up for collaborative projects, they became friendly with each other. pg. 233.

She discusses the special dynamics at work in middle school, when “social circles are most homogenous” and students are “more likely to adhere to group norms and to demand that other group members conform," and when “cyberbullying peaks.” She quotes Concordia University psychology professor William Bukowski as warning, “As this consensus is elusive, the struggles for power within groups may provide nearly perfect conditions for some group members who upset a tenuous consensus to be victimized.” And then add in the complications of puberty on top of all that…
Pg. 246-247

Alexandra also explores “reputational bias” – As she quotes one expert explaining, “popular children acquire a ‘positive halo’ and unpopular children acquire a ‘negative halo,’ which color how their behavior is perceived, evaluated, and responded to by others.” Pg. 252-253

The book is loaded with insights,

Like this quote from Quentin Crisp
“The young always have the same problem – how to rebel and conform at the same time. They solve this problem by defying their parents and copying one another.”

and suggestions of solutions,

“The best way to get a kid to be a leader is to give him something to lead.”
Pg. 303, a Connecticut teacher

“If schools celebrated student scientists the same way they celebrate student athletes, more students would be encouraged to pursue the subject. Instead, science is considered nerdy because schools help students to paint it that way... Schools effectively control which students are eligible to achieve the visibility and recognition that pave the path to perceived popularity. Too often they glorify the wrong people.”

And the book concludes with a gold-mine of suggestions that are so good I have to share just the titles... but you should read the explanations yourself!

What Students can do: 
Know that being different doesn’t mean you’re flawed,
Give everyone a chance,
Keep in mind that loneliness won’t last forever,
Try humor and confidence,
Stop trying to conform,
Find an ally, and
Pursue non-school activities.

What Parents can do:
Remove social status from your list of worries,
Don’t assume you know what your child wants,
Encourage individuality,
Have faith in your child,
Consider switching schools,
Lobby for changes in school

What Schools can do: 
Don’t try to “normalize” outcasts – they’re not in the wrong,
Respect the significance of the cafeteria,
Encourage teachers to offer safe havens,
Create superordinate goals,
Monitor for both kinds of aggression,
Employ social norms strategies,
Treat all groups equally,
Make credit requirements equitable,
Encourage upperclassmen to support new students,
Encourage unexpected introductions,
Facilitate connections rather than imposing friendships,
Offer teachers/advisors of marginalized students the chance to be visible,
Rock the vote,
Don’t punish individuals by rewarding groups,
Reach out,
Fight to promote creativity,
Improve clique relations – among staff,
Confront issues head-on, and
Have a well-known anti-bullying procedure and contact person.

(pages 376-39)

Alexandra finishes with this summation

“Outcasts may be persecuted or shunned, but they are also free… Cafeteria fringe status liberates them from the confines of rigid teen boxes, saving a student the time, energy and frustration of trying to be someone he’s not… Undoubtedly the loneliness that may accompany this freedom can be a heartrending price to pay. But most people are lonely at times. As countless students – like Whitney, like Blue – have indicated to me over the years, just because a student has company doesn’t mean that she’s not lonely. Better to be lonely and real than to hide constantly behind a mask of self-deception. The loneliness will pass.” Pg. 395

"Better to be lonely and real than to hide constantly behind a mask of self-deception.  The loneliness will pass." 

Such wise words.

"The Geeks Shall Inherit The Earth" is an excellent, excellent resource for all of us wanting to end bullying and show kids how to not just survive, but thrive.

I want every teacher (and administrator) in this country to read this book over the summer, and if I could, I'd require it! 

Namaste,
Lee

Mitt Romney was a High School Bully... Does It Matter?

Imagine the scene:

A fancy private high school, where the students wear ties and carry briefcases, and live in dorms.  Every guy has their hair cut short.  Everyone looks pretty much alike.

A new student, John Lauber, has bleached blonde hair, and wears it long - covering one eye. 

Others make fun of the new guy, teasing him for the hair and what the hair might mean... that the new kid is gay.

Mitt Romney, a Senior at the time, told his friend Matthew Friedemann, “He can’t look like that. That’s wrong. Just look at him!”

A few days later, according to five witnesses, this happened:

"...Friedemann entered Stevens Hall off the school’s collegiate quad to find Romney marching out of his own room ahead of a prep school posse shouting about their plan to cut Lauber’s hair. Friedemann followed them to a nearby room where they came upon Lauber, tackled him and pinned him to the ground. As Lauber, his eyes filling with tears, screamed for help, Romney repeatedly clipped his hair with a pair of scissors."

Okay, this homophobic attack (as reported in the Washington Post) happened back in 1965 - I wasn't even born yet.  Forty-seven years before Mitt Romney is running for President of the United States of America.  Should it matter?


When Romney was asked about it, here's his response:

Asked specifically as to whether he remembered an anecdote in the story that describes Romney cutting the hair of one of his classmates who was “presumed” to be gay because the candidate did not like his long hairstyle, Romney responded, “You know, I don’t.”

“I don’t remember that incident,” Romney said, laughing, before adding that whether someone was “homosexual, that was the furthest thing from my mind back in the 1960s, so that was not the case.”

 I thought this editorial by Charles M. Blow in the New York Times had some great points, including:

"...honorable men don’t chuckle at cruelty."

and

"Targeting the vulnerable is an act of cowardice. The only way to vanquish cowardice is to brandish courage. Romney refused to do so."

and

"Americans want to know that the boy from that prep school grew up in knowledge and wisdom and grew deep in compassion and empathy. We want to know that his shoulders are now wide enough to bear blame and his heart is big enough to seek contrition."

Instead, what Romney did was laugh about it, say he didn't remember the incident, and failed to express regret or show he'd learned anything in the forty-seven years since he viciously attacked a classmate for being "different."

He missed what might have been a transformative, teachable moment that addressed the epidemic of bullying today. 

Mitt Romney was a High School Bully. 

I think it does matter.  

What do you think?

 

Namaste,
Lee

Writing Contest For Teens About Bullying

New York Times Columnist Nicholas Kristof wants to raise the conversation on bullying by hearing from the REAL experts - teens.

If you're between 14 and 19, you can enter a 500 word-or-less essay "about bullying or how to address it."  The deadline for entries is April 30, 2012.

Winning entries may be published in the New York Times as part of Krisof's column, and on Teen Ink.

You can find the contest details here.

Namaste,
Lee


ps - Thanks to Curtis Kiefer and Robin Fosdick at the Corvallis-Benton County Public Library for letting me know about this so I could share it with all of you!

One - a picture book about bullying for the youngest kids!

ONE by Kathryn Otoshi

This picture book is brilliant.

Personified colors interact.  Red (a red dot) teases Blue (a blue dot), and makes Blue feel small.

The other colors are afraid to stand up to Red, who gets bigger and bigger.

When someone new comes along, the titular ONE, and Red tries to bully them, too, something different happens.  ONE stands up. 

How all the colors (including Blue) learn to stand up to Red, and how Red figures out they can do things differently is the heart of this beautiful story.

"ONE" would be a great conversation-starter (and read-aloud) about bullying and standing up for yourself and others.  It would work for pre-schoolers all the way up to bigger kids.  Heck, I'm an adult, and I loved it, too.

The art is beautiful - and like the story, seems simple but there's so much heart to discover in it.

"ONE" is a picture book I wish had been read to me when I was a little kid.

It's a book you should get, and share, and discuss.

Namaste,
Lee

ps- my thanks to Essia Cartoon-Fredman, the librarian at Pressman Academy in Los Angeles, for telling me about "One," and how they've used it as a read-aloud with their Kindergarteners.

Stand For The Silent - A Powerful Anti-Bullying School Presentation

Featured in the upcoming movie BULLY, Ty Smalley was 11 when, after years of being picked on and bullied, he finally had enough and physically reacted to his bully's taunts.  Ty was caught for 'fighting'.  Suspended from school.  And he killed himself.

Ty Smalley

Ty's parents Kirk and Laura have made it their mission to stop this epidemic of bullying, and they're taking action through STAND FOR THE SILENT.

I was fortunate to attend Kirk's assembly program at a Los Angeles Middle School this week.  It was powerful, and wrenching.

Kirk had the kids on his side, supporting him as he told the story of his son, and of other children like Ty who took their own lives because of bullying.

He asked for a show of hands, who there had ever been bullied.  Every single person raised their hand.

He asked for another show of hands, who there had even been a bully.  Four hands went up.

He told us that every seven seconds, someone is bullied in our world.

There's work to do.

And then, he got the entire auditorium of 800 plus students to take this pledge out loud:

"From this day forward I promise to respect those around me as well as respect myself.  I am somebody, and I can make a difference.  I can make another feel loved.  I can be the helping hand that leads another back to a path of hope and aspiration.  I will not stand silent as others try to spread hatred through my community.  Instead, I pledge to lift up these victims, and show them that their life matters.  I will be the change, because I am somebody."

It was such a powerful moment.

Kirk spoke with passion and deep emotion, and I cheer him on.  We need all our voices raised to empower children and teens to stop bullying and make their world - our world - better.

Here's a CNN story on Kirk - and in it you can see how raw and honest he's able to be about his loss, and the promise he made to his son on the Father's Day after Ty's death, that he'd stop this from happening to another child.







So let's do it. Let's stand with Kirk. And let's Stand For The Silent.

Let's each of us do everything we can to end bullying.


Namaste,
Lee

A movie about bullying in US Schools gets an R rating, preventing it from being seen by kids - and what YOU can do to help!

I've seen BULLY.

And I believe the movie's honest window into bullying can open eyes, get people talking, and contribute towards making things better - but not if it has an "R" rating and kids under 17 can't see it!

Here's the trailer (that's rated okay for "Appropriate Audiences")




Lee Hirsch, the movie's director, said about the "R" rating:

"I made BULLY for everyone to see, kids who are bullied, who bully, and the vast majority who are witnesses ...those kids can make change by speaking up, becoming upstanders instead of bystanders. We have to change hearts and minds in order to stop this epidemic, which affects more than 13 million young lives a year in our country. The stark realities of bullying are that kids say terrible things to each other...and kids in junior and senior high-school use profanity. ~~ It is devastating that the MPAA, in adhering to a strict limit on certain words, would prevent this film from being seen by those who need its message the most...."

There was an appeal to the ratings board. It was rejected.

As the Bully Project wrote, an R rating

"could potentially ban the very students who are on the front lines of America's bullying epidemic from seeing the film unless accompanied by a parent or guardian. Clearly, this is unacceptable."


Katy, a high school student from Ann Arbor, Michigan launched an online petition on change.org urging the MPAA to reconsider. In less than 24 hours more than 100,000 people had signed on - but they still need more signatures!

The movie is set to debut March 30, 2012.

Add your voice.

Let's get this movie seen, and let's get people talking about bullying, and how to stop it.

***UPDATE MARCH 5, 2012***

They've gotten over 200,000 signatures so far, and Katy is planning "to deliver the signatures to the MPAA personally."

You can still sign!

***

UPDATE APRIL 5, 2012

The movie is slightly edited (to remove three of the six uses of the F-word) and the MPAA gives BULLY a PG-13 rating!

success!

***

Namaste,
Lee

The Angel: A Novel about Bullying... And One Character Has Gay Parents

The Angel by Nastasha LaBrake

From his very first day at Madison High School, Seth is a witness to Brian’s relentless bullying.

And from the beginning he sets out to protect the bully’s victims.

But when Brian starts attacking Seth’s friends, it gets personal.

Then Brian learns about Seth’s gay parents.

That’s when all hell breaks loose.

The final showdown will leave blood in the rain, shots echoing through the night, and lives in tatters…

"The Angel" is self-published by the author.  Add your review in comments!