I Felt a Funeral, In My Brain - Grief, Sexuality, and Poetry: Avery Tries to Figure It All Out

I Felt a Funeral, in My Brain By Will Walton

How do you deal with a hole in your life?

Do you turn to poets and pop songs?

Do you dream?

Do you try on love just to see how it fits?

Do you grieve?

If you're Avery, you do all of these things. And you write it all down in an attempt to understand what's happened--and is happening--to you.

Add your review of "I Felt a Funeral, In My Brain" in comments!

Nico Waltenbury - A College Senior - Opens Up About Coming Out and Wanting To Be The Role Model He Needed

This article, Grappling With Gay: Making Space For Self-Discovery, published last week in the The University of Western Ontario's student newspaper, The Gazette, was very poignant.

In it, Nico Waltenbury opens up about his difficult coming-out process, and what he now realizes:

I didn’t come out because I was ready or because I was sure; I came out because it was too painful to stay in the closet alone any longer.

and

Today, I can’t help but regret the opportunities I missed to be a role model in the LGBTQ2+ community on campus — to be someone who younger students could look to as out and proud, sending a signal that our campus was a safe place to be their authentic selves.

He writes that the article,

"is my last-ditch attempt to be an openly gay role model in my final months on Western's campus."

And I think it's more than that. By being his proud, authentic self, Nico is a role model far beyond the campus of his own college.

Read the full piece here.

And thanks, Nico. This standing up is how the world changes for the better.

The light in me recognizes and acknowledges the light in you,
Lee

The Stone Rainbow - A YA novel where love and prejudice collide in a small town

The Stone Rainbow by Liane Shaw

A continuation of Jack's story from Caterpillars Can't Swim.

Jack Pedersen is finding life complicated ever since he came out to his mom. Even though she's been doing her best to be understanding, it's obvious to Jack that his mom still wants to cry every time she says the word gay.

Complications go into overdrive when a new student named Benjamin arrives at his high school, and Jack starts experiencing feelings he's never allowed himself before. When a near tragedy turns life upside down, Jack realizes it's time to stop hiding and to stand up--for Pride, for Benjamin, and for himself.

Add your review of "The Stone Rainbow" in comments!

Caterpillars Can't Swim - A YA Novel Where a Friendship Between a Disabled Swimmer and a Closeted Gay Teen Help Them Both Go Against Stereotypes.

Caterpillars Can't Swim by Liane Shaw

For sixteen-year-old Ryan, the water is where he finds freedom from his wheelchair. But he never imagined he would become his small town's hero by saving his schoolmate, Jack, from drowning. For Jack, disappearing into the river seemed better than living through one more day of high school, where he is dogged by rumors about being gay. When Ryan invites Jack on a trip to Comic Con with his best friend Cody, the captain of the swim team, the three boys make an unlikely combination. This trip will give them the chance to go against the stereotypes the world wants to define them by.

Add your review of "Caterpillars Can't Swim" in comments!

Queer as a Five-Dollar Bill - The Book

QUEER AS A FIVE-DOLLAR BILL

“A tapestry of the gay teenage experience—frayed edges repaired with earnest love and care.” —Kirkus Reviews

Wyatt is fifteen, and nobody in his homophobic small town of Lincolnville, Oregon, knows that he’s gay. Not even his best friend (and accidental girlfriend) Mackenzie.

Then he discovers a secret from actual history: Abraham Lincoln was in love with another guy! Since everyone loves Lincoln, Wyatt’s sure that if the world knew about it, they would treat gay people differently and it would solve everything about his life. So Wyatt outs Lincoln online, triggering a media firestorm and conservative backlash that threaten to destroy everything he cares about.

Now Wyatt has to pretend more than ever that he’s straight (because no one will believe a gay kid saying Lincoln was gay). Only then he meets Martin, who is openly gay and who just might be the guy Wyatt’s been hoping to find. Will Wyatt stay closeted to change the world, or will he let Abraham Lincoln’s gay romance fade back into history and take his own chance at love?

This nineteenth- and twenty-first-century coming-of-age, coming out story was inspired by real historical evidence that Abraham Lincoln was in love—romantic love—with another man. QUEER AS A FIVE-DOLLAR BILL asks LGBTQ teens (and everyone else), What if you knew a secret from history that could change the world?

“Compelling… with highly empathetic characters in Wyatt and his friends. Was Abraham Lincoln gay? Readers of this intriguing and readable novel will decide for themselves.” —Michael Cart, ALA Booklist

“I LOVE the characters.” —Alex Sanchez, author of 8 teen novels, including the groundbreaking gay teen “Rainbow Boys” trilogy

“Riveting… [and] filled with laugh-out-loud moments.” —BookLife Prize

“This one should get people talking! I hope this book…finds the large audience it deserves.” —Brent Hartinger, author of 12 novels, including the groundbreaking gay teen novel “Geography Club”

Fans of Becky Albertalli’s Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda and What If It’s Us shouldn’t miss Queer as a Five-Dollar Bill!


Editorial Reviews:

National Indie Excellence Award Winner Best Book: LGBTQ for Children & Young Adults

A Book Life Prize Semi-Finalist, one of Publishers Weekly’s Top Five Independently Published Middle Grade and Young Adult Books of 2018

“Wind’s engaging, utterly enjoyable tale of teen self-discovery is riveting both for its well-structured, historically based plot and its emotional honesty. . . . Wind’s polished prose is filled with laugh-out-loud moments. . . . A resonant and admirably crafted work.” —Book Life Prize

“The premise is a real hook . . . with real potential to influence and educate, on top of entertaining. . . . A tapestry of the gay teenage experience—frayed edges repaired with earnest love and care.” —Kirkus Reviews

“Bound to spark curiosity . . . A sympathetic novel that will change the way young readers look at history and the lessons it has to teach.” —Foreword Reviews

“Compelling… with highly empathetic characters in Wyatt and his friends. Was Abraham Lincoln gay? Readers of this intriguing and readable novel will decide for themselves.” —Michael Cart, ALA Booklist

“All the more impressive when considering that it is author Lee Winds’ debut as a novelist. Entertaining, thought-provoking, Queer as a Five-Dollar Bill is recommended for school and community library YA fiction collections. —Midwest Book Review

“Lee Wind has written a courageous novel about facing truth, both in history and in yourself. I applaud this important book.” —Ellen Wittlinger, author of 14 novels, including the Lambda Literary Award– and Printz Honor Award–winning “Hard Love”

“This powerful novel combines raw emotion with detailed historical evidence. Readers will be drawn into Wyatt’s story as he struggles with being true to himself, and come out the other side questioning who writes the history we learn. Speaking truth to power, indeed. Queer as a Five-Dollar Bill belongs in every library that serves teens.” —Yapha Mason, school librarian and two-time Newbery Medal judge

“I loved Queer as a Five Dollar Bill! The twists and turns of Wyatt’s experiences, both of pondering his own sexuality and of attempting to bring questions about Lincoln’s experiences to light, make this an exciting story. . . . Will keep any reader turning the pages. Highly recommended!” —Elisabeth Abarbanel, school librarian for grades 7-12

Publishers Weekly’s September 2018 Indie Success Story: “Bringing History into the Light” https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/authors/pw-select/article/78104-bringing-history-into-the-light-an-indie-success-story.html


Author Bio:

Lee Wind is the founding blogger and publisher of I’m Here. I’m Queer. What The Hell Do I Read?, an award-winning website about books, culture, and empowerment for Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, Questioning and Queer youth, and their Allies. For over 11 years, readers from 100-plus countries have racked up 2.6 million page views—and counting!

QUEER AS A FIVE-DOLLAR BILL is Lee’s debut novel, and readers describe it as “a love letter for history geeks” that “perfectly captures teen angst,” “had my heart racing,” and helped them feel “less alone.”

In his “Clark Kent” jobs, Lee is the director of marketing and programming at the Independent Book Publishers Association and the official blogger for the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators.

Lee’s “Superhero” job is writing. Fans of QUEER AS A FIVE-DOLLAR BILL say, “I felt a magical bond with the story”, “I absolutely loved this book,” and that Lee Wind’s “can't-put-it-down” writing ”gripped me emotionally” and “will pull you in and have you wondering about the truth of history.“

Lee lives in Los Angeles with his husband and their teenage daughter. He loves featuring fan art, #queerhistoryiseverywhere snapshots, and photos of GSAs and book clubs reading and discussing #queerasafivedollarbill

Visit him online at:

www.leewind.org

Twitter: https://twitter.com/leewind
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/leewind
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamleewind/



QUEER AS A FIVE-DOLLAR BILL
by Lee Wind
I’m Here. I’m Queer. What The Hell Do I Read?
Distributed by BookBaby
Publish Date: October 2, 2018
ISBN:
978-1-7322281-0-8 (Hardcover) | $25.99
978-1-7322281-1-5 (Paperback) | $13.99
978-1-7322281-2-2 (eBook) | $6.99
Also available as an Audiobook | $19.95
Ages 14 & Up

Available wherever books are sold.

Links to buy the book:
Indiebound: https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781732228115

Barnes & Noble / Nook: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/queer-as-a-five-dollar-bill-lee-wind/1129124085?ean=9781732228115

Amazon / Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/Queer-Five-Dollar-Bill-Lee-Wind/dp/1732228116
Audible (Audiobook): https://www.audible.com/pd/Queer-as-a-Five-Dollar-Bill-Audiobook/B07KRP2C89

Kobo (eBook) - https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/queer-as-a-five-dollar-bill
Kobo (Audiobook) - https://www.kobo.com/us/en/audiobook/queer-as-a-five-dollar-bill-1

Audiobooks.com: https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/queer-as-a-five-dollar-bill/360622

Also available on iBooks as an eBook and Audiobook.

Read the "Indie Success" September 2018 feature in Publishers Weekly on "Queer as a Five-Dollar Bill" here!

Keywords:

Gay Teen Romance

Gay Teen Books

Gay Teen Coming of Age

Gay Teen Fiction

Coming Out

Abraham Lincoln

Gay History


BISAC Codes:

YAF031000 YOUNG ADULT FICTION / LGBT

YAF052040 YOUNG ADULT FICTION / Romance / LGBT

YAF011000 YOUNG ADULT FICTION / Coming of Age

YAF058020 YOUNG ADULT FICTION / Social Themes / Bullying

18 Days - A Romantic Comedy Where a Teen Boy (Who Already Has a Girlfriend) Falls in Love With Another Boy

18 Days by Cory Blystone

Chad meets Joel. It's practically love at first sight. The only problem? Chad is dating Nikki, his girlfriend of two-and-a-half years.

Awkward...

What's a boy to do when he's in love with another boy but doesn't want to break his girlfriend's heart?

Follow Chad Walker's life after it is turned upside down on the first day of school his senior year at Ravenwood High. Over the next eighteen days, everything changes for this small town boy as he discovers himself, realizing that honesty is not always the easiest choice...

Add your review of "18 Days" in comments!

Alan Cole Is Not a Coward - A Middle School Boy Has To Win A Contest Against His Brother... Or Be Outed To The World

Alan Cole Is Not a Coward by Eric Bell

Alan Cole can’t stand up to his cruel brother, Nathan. He can’t escape the wrath of his demanding father, who thinks he’s about as exceptional as a goldfish. And—scariest of all—he can’t let the cute boy across the cafeteria know he has a crush on him.

But when Nathan discovers Alan’s secret, his older brother announces a high-stakes round of Cole vs. Cole. Each brother must complete seven nearly impossible tasks; whoever finishes the most wins the game. If Alan doesn’t want to be outed to all of Evergreen Middle School, he’s got to become the most well-known kid in school, get his first kiss, and stand up to Dad. Alan’s determined to prove—to Nathan, to the world, to himself—that this goldfish can learn to swim.

May the best Cole win.

Add your review of "Alan Cole is Not a Coward" in comments!

One Of These Things First - A Coming of Age and Coming Out Memoir by Steven Gaines

One Of These Things First by Steven Gaines

Steven is 15 years old, growing up in 1960's Brooklyn. This memoir follows his trajectory from his grandparent's bar and girdle store to, after a failed suicide attempt, a private room in one of the most exclusive psychiatric hospitals in the world. Here Steven meets a brilliant young psychiatrist who promises to cure him of his homosexuality and provide him with the normalcy he longs for. At the hospital he also meets a Broadway producer, the husband of superstar Mary Martin, who opens a new world for him, an editor who claims she was President John F. Kennedy's lover, and other eccentric, wealthy neurotics, who make him feel like "Eliza Doolittle at the psycho country club."

Add your review of "One Of These Things First" in comments!

A Great New Video From Teen Line-- LGBTQ: Understanding Sexual Orientation and Gender Identities

I really liked this:





Cheering all the students in this (and the supportive adults) on!

A Coming Out Video You Should See

This video by Jackson Bird brought me back so strongly to when I was struggling to say the words and start to live my authentic life.



So proud of this young person!

Former Homophobic Bully Comes Out As Gay, and Apologizes

This was fascinating.

As reported at Logo's New Now Next site,

"a former middle-school bully revealed that he’s now gay, and wrote an open letter of apology to the classmate he tormented with anti-gay remarks." This former bully, "James," wrote,

"If you’re in my situation, please don’t resort to verbal abuse over things that scare/ frighten you, be strong, talk to people in a civilized manner, and open up to them.

I know I’m gay, I think I bullied Nate so much because I was afraid of being like this, I wanted to be the strong straight kid my dad always wanted."

"James" wishes he could apologize to the boy he harassed:

"Again I can’t apologies [sic] to Nate now, but if I could I would want to tell him this: I’m sorry for all the verbal harassment I put you through, the truth is I always thought you were pretty cool and sort of attractive, and that frustrated me."

That stopped me in my tracks. The kid bullying Nate thought Nate was attractive?!? And that was what fueled much of the meanness??? WOW.





Let that sink in for a moment.

"the truth is I always thought you were pretty cool and sort of attractive, and that frustrated me."




Wow.


"James" goes on to address those who are being bullied right now and hopes they can stay strong.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, those who bully you or insult you are most often then not having an identity crisis,” he writes. “I’m here for you now, and want to know that you’re perfect just the way you are.”

Yes.

What a shame "James" couldn't have figured that out sooner, without making Nate's life miserable.

Here's to epiphanies for all the kids and teens who are acting like bullies!

Lee

Ash Beckham on Coming Out of The Closet... For ALL of us, for ALL our Closets

This is brilliant.

Enjoy,



Thanks, Ash!

My thanks as well to Adam Mordecai at Upworthy for sharing this video.

We The Animals - A Gay Coming Of Age Story

We The Animals by Justin Torres

Three brothers tear their way through childhood – smashing tomatoes all over each other, building kites from trash, hiding out when their parents do battle, tiptoeing around the house as their mother sleeps off her graveyard shift. Paps and Ma are from Brooklyn – he's Puerto Rican, she's white – and their love is a serious, dangerous thing that makes and unmakes a family many times.

Life in this family is fierce and absorbing, full of chaos and heartbreak and the euphoria of belonging completely to one another. The youngest brother narrates, and we're wrenched from the intense familial unity felt by a child to the profound alienation he endures as he's institutionalized by his family for being gay, and then witness as he's ultimately propelled at escape velocity towards his future.

Add your review of "We The Animals" in comments!

Rapture Practice - A Born-Again Christian Boy Questions God, Sex and Everything In Between (A Memoir)

Rapture Practice by Aaron Hartzler

Aaron Hartzler grew up in a home where he was taught that at any moment the Rapture could happen. That Jesus might come down in the twinkling of an eye and scoop Aaron and his family up to heaven. As a kid, Aaron was thrilled by the idea that every moment of every day might be his last one on planet Earth.

But as Aaron turns sixteen, he finds himself more attached to his earthly life and curious about all the things his family forsakes for the Lord. He begins to realize he doesn't want the Rapture to happen just yet—not before he sees his first movie, stars in the school play, or has his first kiss. Eventually Aaron makes the plunge from conflicted do-gooder to full-fledged teen rebel.

Whether he's sneaking out, making out, or playing hymns with a hangover, Aaron learns a few lessons that can't be found in the Bible. He discovers that the best friends aren't always the ones your mom and dad approve of, and the tricky part about believing is that no one can do it for you.

For those of you in Southern California, Aaron has two upcoming events - this Saturday April 13, 2013 at the Santa Monica Public Library and Saturday April 20, 2013 at the LA Times Festival of Books, as part of the panel "Inner Self: Faith & Gay Identity."

Add your review of "Rapture Practice" in comments!

Beyond Labels: Aaron Swartz's other legacy is well worthy of discussion

Aaron Swartz, famed Internet activist, hacker, author, and programer who created RSS and co-founded the company that became Reddit as well as developed the Internet architecture for the Creative Commons licensing system, committed suicide in January.  You can read more about Aaron here. 

In addition to being an internet genius, Aaron had a different view of defining one's sexuality.  Here's how he explained it on his blog (the quote's from here.)

"Having sex with other people of your gender isn’t an identity, it’s an act. And, like sex in general among consenting adults, people should be able to do it if they want to. Having sex with someone shouldn’t require an identity crisis....People shouldn’t be forced to categorize themselves as 'gay,' 'straight,' or 'bi.' People are just people. Maybe you’re mostly attracted to men. Maybe you’re mostly attracted to women. Maybe you’re attracted to everyone. These are historical claims — not future predictions. If we truly want to expand the scope of human freedom, we should encourage people to date who they want; not just provide more categorical boxes for them to slot themselves into. A man who has mostly dated men should be just as welcome to date women as a woman who’s mostly dated men.So that’s why I’m not gay. I hook up with people. I enjoy it. Sometimes they’re men, sometimes they’re women. I don’t see why it needs to be any more complicated than that."

It's a fascinating take on pride, and worth talking about.

Namaste,
Lee

Jacob, A High School Senior, Comes Out In A Speech... and it's posted to Youtube by his proud father!

This video is really lovely and encouraging, and it is a perfect Valentine's Day gift. Because really, in this life, the first person we need to love and respect is ourself!

I also love that Jacob's father loves him so much that he proudly shares this online!




The sound is a bit rough, so here's what Jacob says:

"So, I would like to thank everyone for voting me Class Actor.  Sure, I've been in a few plays and musicals, but more importantly I've been acting every single day of my life.  You see, I've been acting as someone I'm not.  When most of you see me every day, you see me acting the part of "straight Jacob," when I'm in fact an LGBT teen.  (Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender.)
Unlike millions of other LGBT teens who have had to act every day to avoid verbal harassment, physical violence, I'm not going to do it anymore.  It's time to end the hate in our society and accept the people for who they are regardless of their sex, race, orientation, or whatever else may be holding back love and friendship. So take me or leave me, or move me out of the way, because I am what I am, and that's how I'm going to act from now on."
Cheers from the crowd!

Inspiring!


Happy Valentine's Day - may it be full of love and pride for you, too!

Lee


ps - My thanks to Karol for sharing this with me, so I could share it with you!

pps- There's a follow-up interview Jacob did on MSNBC, where they ridiculously get the acronym Jacob used wrong, thinking he said LGBTT, when he said "LGBT Teen."  But his explanation of WHY he identified as LGBT rather than gay or bisexual was really interesting.  You can watch that video here.

Way To Go - A Coming Out Story For Both Boys and Girls

"Way To Go" by Tom Ryan

Kierce has a rule for everything, not to mention his whole future planned out. Jay has bad grades, no plans, and could care less.

As for Danny, he’s stuck somewhere in the middle and can’t stop stressing out about it. His dad keeps nagging him about his post-high school plans, his friends won’t stop bugging him about girls, and a run-in with the cops means he has to to get a summer job – about the last thing he had planned. Worst of all, the secret he’s been keeping for years is threatening to spill out into the open.

Just when he’s beginning to wonder how he’ll get through the summer, let alone survive another year in Deep Cove, Danny meets Lisa Walsh. Lisa is dynamic, beautiful, and different from any girl he’s ever known. She’s also from New York City, which is about as far from Deep Cove as the dark side of the moon. For the first time in a while, things begin to look like they might turn out all right after all – that is, if friends, family, and reality don’t get in the way.

Add your review of "Way To Go" in comments!

Coming Out LIVE and 50 Brave Blog Posts About Coming Out - For National Coming Out Day!

 This video of Daniel coming out  to his mother - filmed live - is amazing -



And this list of 50 blog posts about coming out is a very cool resource.

It includes gems like this:

About coming out later in life

and

Ryan's transgender coming out

and even this poem I posted a while back by a gay teen, Ethan.


Go check out the wealth of coming out stories...

and be inspired!

Namaste with Pride,
Lee

My thanks to author Hayden Thorne for the coming out live link!

Omar Sharif Jr. (grandson of the famous actor) Comes Out as Gay and Half-Jewish, and asks if there's a place for him in the New Egypt

Omar Sharif, Jr. as photographed in his coming out story in the Advocate

In this amazing open letter/essay published in the Advocate, Omar writes:

"I write this article in fear.  Fear for my country, fear for my family, and fear for myself.  My parents will be shocked to read it, surely preferring I stay in the shadows and keep silent, at least for the time being. 

But I can't.

...That my mother is Jewish is no small disclosure when you are from Egypt, no matter the year.  And being openly gay has always meant asking for trouble, but perhaps especially during this time of political and social upheaval.  With the victories of several Islamist parties in recent elections, a conversation needs to be had and certain questions need to be raised.  I ask myself:

Am I welcome in the new Egypt?

Will being Egyptian, half Jewish, and gay forever remain mutually exclusive identities?  Are they identities to be hidden?"

It's brave, and awesome, and I applaud Omar for Standing Up for himself and others!

Namaste,
Lee

The Boys On The Rock - A Teen Jock's Coming Out As Gay

By John Fox


Billy goes to high school in the Bronx. He's sixteen, on the swim team, and is an all-around regular guy.

He's sort of going steady with a girl.

He's kind of popular at school.

But he's always worried that the secret fantasies he has about men would set him apart and make him "different," if anyone knew about them.

And now Billy faces up to himself - and his friends - as he discovers the complexities of life, the exuberance of sex, and what it means to be an adult in our imperfect world.


My thanks to blog reader (and author) Jon Wilson for recommending this, his favorite book from when he was a young gay man.

Add your review of "The Boys On The Rock" in comments!