Progress: A Shout out to People Magazine's May Profile of "Online Dating's Most Wanted: Sexiest Singles Alive!"

Amid all the challenging news of the summer, this piece in People Magazine (you can see the online version here) made me ridiculously happy...

Four of the seven online dating sites profiled included men looking for men or women looking for women. And out of the nineteen people profiled and shown, seven were out and looking for their Lesbian, Gay or Bi special someone...

I'm certainly not looking (love you, husband!) but I keep thinking how this would have ROCKED MY WORLD as a teen. To see these people proudly looking for love - the kind of love I so deeply and secretly yearned for - and to have them presented as equals, indeed as among the "Sexiest Singles Alive!" is a powerful message celebrating our differences.

For using their platform to make our world a better place for LGBTQ people, I want to say:

Thanks, People Magazine!

Sunday is Harvey Milk Day in California... A Little History (His Story) And ACTION Can Empower Us All!

"What set Harvey apart from you or me was that he was a visionary. He imagined a righteous world inside his head and then he set about to create it for real, for all of us."

-Anne Kronenberg, Harvey Milk's final campaign manager

California is honoring Harvey Milk, the first openly gay elected public official in California.

Tragically, Harvey was assassinated. But we can honor his memory by continuing his fight for equality for ALL - including those of us who are Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and Questioning!

Check out the Equality Across America website for a listing of ACTIONS you can be part of to stand up in support of

"Equal protection in all matters governed by civil law in all 50 states."

In August 2009, President Barack Obama posthumously awarded Milk the Presidential Medal of Freedom for his contribution to the gay rights movement stating "he fought discrimination with visionary courage and conviction".

And also last year, California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger designated May 22 as "Harvey Milk Day", and inducted Milk in the California Hall of Fame.


There's two wonderful films about Harvey Milk. The Times Of Harvey Milk, a documentary that won the Academy Award (for best documentary) back in 1984. And Milk, a 2008 biopic that won two Academy Awards for Best Original Screenplay and Best Actor (Sean Penn as Milk.)

There's also a picture book, The Harvey Milk Story!

(more on the picture book on Monday!)

Happy Harvey Milk Day - and let's each of us stand up for equality for ALL!

I'm gonna let Harvey have the last word, which I think he would have loved:

A Marine (and current CA Assemblyman) Nathan Fletcher on Ending "Don't Ask Don't Tell"

Happily, the California Assembly did pass this Anti-Don't Ask Don't Tell measure, which will now go to our Governor Schwarzenegger to (hopefully) sign.




You can e-mail the Governor here.

More info on the bill:



Repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Bill Number: SJR 9

This resolution would put California on record in support of the federal Military Readiness Enhancement Act, recognizing the vital contributions of gay and lesbian members of our armed forces and reversing the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy.

Status: Passed full Senate with a 23-16 vote on August 24, 2009. Passed the Assembly with bipartisan support on May 13, 2010.

Author: Senator Christine Kehoe

Principal Co-Authors: Senator Leno and Assembly Members Ammiano, Brownley, Evans, Feuer, Jones, Lieu, Ma, Monning, John A. Pérez, and Salas.

Thanks to all the above for the efforts to put California's weight on the side of equality - hoping that pressure helps move things along on the federal level.

In fact, Rep. Patrick Murphy (D-PA) is expected to offer an amendment to the House version of the Defense Authorization bill that would overturn DADT. Similar action is also expected in the Senate Armed Services Committee on May 27.

For Rep. Murphy's amendment to be offered, however, the Speaker of the House must first schedule a vote.

And that's where each of us can help - right now.

Urge House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) to schedule a vote on Rep. Murphy's repeal amendment to the Defense Authorization bill next week.

Call Speaker Pelosi today.

(202) 225-0100

Also, contact your representative in Congress and tell them that waiting any longer to repeal this terrible law is not an option.

In the words of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network:

We are closer to achieving repeal than ever before.

And my appreciation to Nathan, for having the courage to speak honestly about this, and to everyone fighting to get rid of Don't Ask Don't Tell.

GSA Monday: A gay 15 year old sues his old school for not protecting him from bullying.

So Jacob is this 15 year old in New York who was harassed at his school for being gay. For not looking like a stereotypical straight boy. He dyed his hair (blue, sometimes pink). He wore eyeliner. He was out. When asked if he was gay, he's say:

"Yeah, I'm gay, whatever. Peace out."

But he was teased. Bullied. The school didn't stop it. A teacher told him he should be ashamed of himself for being gay. One kid wrote "I hope you die" on his shoe. Another pulled a knife on him.

So Jacob and his Dad sued.

The new angle is that their suit, with the NYCLU, argued that people who are gay and/or who do not conform to gender stereotypes should have protection under Title IX, the federal law that "prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex in any federally funded education program or activity." Title IX is the lever that changed girl's participation in sports, making schools accountable for including girls in sports - or risk their federal funding.

After all, it wasn't so long ago that acting like a sterotypical "girl" and being athletic were seen as mutually exclusive. And if you compare girls participation in sports from 1972 (when the law passed) to today, Title IX has helped create a gigantic shift for the better, for the fairer, for the equality of women - and thus made it a better world for us all.

Now while there is talk of settlement, this case is a warning to schools across the country that allowing harassment and bullying of their GLBTQ students is not only wrong, it's going to cost them (bad PR, and money.)

Jacob's family ultimately moved. Talking about the difference in his new school, he said:

"It's amazing. I have a lot of friends there."

I'm really proud of Jacob (and his Dad) for standing up and fighting this fight. It will make things better for other kids in both his old school, and in schools across the country.

I think it's really important that non-conforming gender expression is protected. I've heard from many teens that it's harder to be an effeminate straight guy than a butch gay one in Junior High and High School.

What about in your school?

Does something like this have a chance to impact things for the better?

Let me know what you think.

Namaste,
Lee

Progress And Pressure: The Mechanics Of Winning Gay Rights. Lessons From Scholastic, Maine, And President Obama.

Three recent events have really highlighted for me the mechanics behind how things change. In particular, how we achieve Gay Equality and Rights.

Scholastic's De-Gaying.

Maine's De-Marriaging.

And President Obama's D...well, "D" for Disappointing.

Scholastic's De-Gaying



Scholastic was caught asking "Luv Ya Bunches" author Lauren Myracle to change the two mom parents of a character in the book to a one-mom-one-dad family, in order to have her book included in their book fairs. When the author refused (Go, Lauren!) they told her they wouldn't carry her book in their fairs. When School Library Journal reported on this episode of censorship on October 21, 2009, there was a lot of pressure and complaint letters and a petition with over 4,000 signatures in just a few days... in short, a heap of bad publicity - and Scholastic responded.

Scholastic told the world they won't judge a book based on character's sexuality. But to this date they have not admitted that they were in error in requesting the de-gaying of the book. Nor have they apologized.

Scholastic also said that they would carry the book in their middle school book fairs.

In response to this, many progressive voices inside and outside of the gay community declared victory. However, no one (except School Library Journal, thank you!) seemed to notice that "Luv Ya Bunches" is a book about 5th grade girls, and it should be carried in the elementary school book fairs.

And yet, the letter writing stopped. The petition stopped collecting signatures. The "storm" of bad publicity passed...

and progress on achieving our Gay equality stopped.

Moving forward, I'm sure Scholastic will be more careful with what changes they request of authors in order to accept their books into their school book fairs.

But I wish Scholastic had gone the full distance on this. Publicly apologize to the author and to our community. And carry the book with lesbian moms for 9-13 year olds with all the other books for 9-13 year olds - in their Elementary School Book Fairs.

I think the reason they didn't go the full distance was that the pressure stopped. The fire seemed mostly out, and it seems they're just trying to move on and hope everyone forgets it happened.

The problem is, there's unfinished business. And Scholastic needs to find the courage (or feel the pressure) to finish it.


Maine's De-Marriaging.



On Tuesday, Maine voters decided that their legislature was wrong in passing a law that allowed Gay men and Lesbians to marry. 53% of Maine voters decided that Gay people should not be allowed the right to civil marriage. It's the 31st time a state has voted that. Millions of dollars are being spent, on both sides, in this continual assertion - state by state - that somehow, in this one instance, the majority should decide on the rights of a minority.

But without the grass roots pressure, without the millions of dollars to get our voices heard, and without the untold number of people standing up and talking about what it means to be denied your rights because of who you love, we would have lost it... even worse.

Every time, with Prop 8 in California, and with Tuesday's vote in Maine, we seem to be closer and closer to a majority who "approve" of our rights (I can't even begin to convey how much that very premise rankles...), and it's not because we're sitting back passively. It's because we're showing courage. Those of us who are in Gay and Lesbian relationships are standing up and demanding our rights - and our friends and families and fair-minded allies are often standing and marching and canvassing with us.

Without that effort... it's clear that we'd have even less rights than we do today.


President Obama is Disappointing.


Looking through my files I found this image from the day after Obama was elected President. I remember I felt so much hope...


From having President Obama choose anti-Gay Rick Warren to deliver the invocation at his inauguration to his allowing servicemember after servicemember to be discharged under Don't Ask Don't Tell when he has had the power to stop it from the minute he took the oath of office, our newest President has shown us that while he talks the talk (and the talk is amazing) when it comes to walking the walk, pressure (and political cover) seem necessary.

Happily, President Obama signed the Hate Crimes Law.

And yet, President Obama seems so interested in building consensus for everything he does that it seems to preclude him from acting without it. We see that plainly in the Health Care reform (I was going to write "process" but I'm going to try to be more accurate and call it a "mess.") Democrats are falling all over themselves to compromise away everything that would truly reform the system - like a single payer option - all to appease the Republican minority who won't vote for it anyway.

This systemic lack of LEADERSHIP by our President and by the Democrats who are - at least by the numbers - in charge of both the House and Senate, leaves the Gay community and our allies frustrated that our elected leaders are not standing up for us. That President Obama is not being PROACTIVE in making the changes he promised to make. Where's the courage of his convictions?

Defense Of Marriage Act? Still the law of the land. My legal California marriage isn't recognized by the federal government.

Don't Ask Don't Tell? Still the law of the land. It basically says that you can be gay and in the military, but you have to lie about it. But of course, no one wants someone who they have to trust with their life to lie to them. Honor and all that. So these soldiers are honest. And then they get fired. At the rate of Two PER DAY! President Obama has let hundreds of valiant Americans be FIRED for being honest about who they love. That's shameful, and so disappointing.

"Every civil rights battle in the past 60 years has been fueled by strong presidential leadership," said former U.S. Air Force Staff Sergeant David Hall, one of the Cook v. Gates plaintiffs seeking reinstatement. "And that same leadership is also needed now to allow gays and lesbians to serve openly. It's time the President begins fulfilling his campaign promise by publicly endorsing HR 1283 and working with Congress to find the votes."

The Employment Non Discrimination Act? Still NOT the law of the land. Yesterday they started discussing it (hearings, again) in Congress. Until it passes,

In 29 states, it's legal to fire someone because they're lesbian, gay, or bisexual; in 38 states, it's legal to fire someone for being transgender.

You can have marches on Washington, but marching on a non-business day where pretty much anyone can ignore the march if they want to doesn't really apply PRESSURE for change. And the latest gay rights march on Washington did not create change.

So where does Progress, especially in moving Gay rights forward, come from?

In the case of Scholastic, it was Pressure from bad publicity (and being shamed.)

In the case of Maine, even though we lost, we were close because of Courage. People coming out - not being ashamed - and sharing their stories... but maybe not enough of us.

In the case of President Obama, it seems he'll act when there's a consensus-delivered bill on his desk... but how can we get him to be the "fierce advocate" for Gay rights he promised us he'd be?

In case after case, it all seems to boil down to this. If we want people, or companies, or governments to change, we need them to either:

Find the courage. Or feel the Pressure.

I don't have all the answers.

But I think the questions are good ones to examine.

How do we encourage courage?
What forms of pressure actually result in progress?
Where's the line between pressure that works and pressure that alienates?

It's a discussion we really need to have, as individuals, and as a community.

What do you think?

Namaste,
Lee

Governor Schwarzenegger, Harvey Milk Day, And the POWER of a story well-told

Harvey Milk in 1978

Big news this week was that our California Governor signed the law setting aside May 22 as "Harvey Milk Day" - a special day of recognition to honor the trailblazing Gay politician.

Here's more:

While it will not be a state holiday, schools will be encouraged to hold lessons "remembering the life of Harvey Milk, recognising his accomplishments and familiarising pupils with the contributions he made to this state".

What is so fascinating is that last year, Schwarzenegger VETOED this exact same bill.

So, what changed?

The decision by President Barack Obama to award Milk the presidential medal of freedom and an Academy award-winning film about Milk's life, starring Sean Penn, persuaded Schwarzenegger to change his mind, his spokesman, Aaron McLear, said.

"Harvey Milk symbolises the importance of the gay community in California," said McClear. "And the governor wanted to honour that community. A well-known film brought awareness of him."

Mark Leno, a Democratic state senator, who wrote the bill to honour Milk, said he was pleased about the governor's decision. "In light of his veto message on the same bill last year," he said, "he clearly evolved in his thinking."

It isn't that our Governor didn't know about Harvey Milk last year. He just thought Harvey Milk wasn't that important outside of San Francisco. And it wasn't like there were no gay people last year in the state, when he vetoed it.

But now, with the movie "MILK" and everything else that's going on in our society, the stories we tell, and the stories others tell about us, are changing. Now our stories are about parenthood (gay penguins can be good daddies, too). Our stories are about fighting for marriage, a pretty "conservative" goal. Our stories are about fighting for our country without lying about ourselves - about how we're honest, and brave, and loyal. And our stories are about our ANGER at being treated as second class citizens. Our Anger over Prop 8, which took away the rights of any new gay couples to legally marry in California.

Our stories are changing, and that is creating a shift in our culture. A shift in how we perceive ourselves, and in how others perceive us. The new story is that:

It's no longer "cool" to slam the Gays.

We're standing up, marching, and demanding some respect.

And this week, happily, we got some.

We got Harvey Milk Day.

And in another wonderful stroke of his pen, our Governor also signed a law that makes California recognize the legality of Gay marriages from other states and countries!

So, Hurray for us in California! Hurray for our Governor, who got these two laws right. And Hurray for what Harvey Milk continues to teach us: Come Out. Stand Up. Be Empowered!

Listen to Harvey - he says it beautifully:

Namaste,

Lee

ps: The quotes above are from this article here.

pps: Also, check out the amazing Academy Award Winning documentary"The Times Of Harvey Milk," from back in 1984.

HRC's No Excuses Campaign For Gay Equality: My "Personal-Becomes-Political" Diary, Week One

Okay, so a couple of weeks ago I get this email from HRC, about how pro-gay legislation has been back-burnered in Washington D.C., and even though we have Democratic majorities in both the U.S. House and Senate, as well as a "friendly" President who might SIGN these bills into law, we're not seeing our issues being addressed.

HRC's proposed solution?

To have Gay people and our Allies, members of the GLBTQ and Allied community, meet, face-to-face, with all 535 members of Congress. To share our stories so these pieces of legislation have a FACE. A Voice. A Connection to someone real. To us.

They're calling the campaign NO EXCUSES. I signed up.

And on Tuesday of this week, I participated in a conference call with the HRC field team, to get the low-down. The brief. The best-practices advice.

And then, I called.

I live in Los Angeles, California, and am represented in Washington, D.C. by 3 gay-equality supportive elected officials:

Congressman Henry Waxman

Senator Barbara Boxer

Senator Diane Feinstein

All three are supportive of Gay Equality. Between the three of them, they even co-sponsor a number of the important Pro-Gay Equality Bills. But these bills need to come up in committee, pass committee, and get to the floor of both the house and senate to be voted on. Pro-Gay Equality Legislation needs to move FORWARD.

NO EXCUSES.

I called Congressman Waxman's office first. Asked to speak to the person in charge of scheduling meetings with his constituents. She wasn't available. I asked if there was an email address where I could send a written request. There was.

I sent an email letter, asking for a meeting.

I also called Senator Boxer and Senator Feinstein's offices in LA, and though neither of them meet with constituents in LA, they each have staff with whom I could meet, and who will hopefully pass on my praise and concerns. The Staff of our elected officials do most of the legwork for their bosses on the hundreds of pieces of legislation they have to deal with, and it's important to get our stories to them and through them, too.

I sent two more email letters, requesting face-to-face meetings.

Replies? Only one so far:

I heard back from Congressman Waxman's office with a last-minute meeting slot that had opened for Wednesday, but I couldn't make that timing work. I replied, asking for another time to meet.

All in all, it was a big week of starting out on this "My personal story being an important influence on my elected representatives" journey. It is time to MOVE mine-yours-our Gay Equality forward!

NO EXCUSES!

I'll let you know what happens next!

Namaste,
Lee

Wanna meet YOUR representative face-to-face, and move Pro-Gay equality legislation forward? Go to HRC's No Excuses website and sign up!

Martina, Martina, Martina... What are you THINKING???

Martina Navratilova is a gay icon. A gay civil rights pioneer.

She's the face of the Rainbow Endowment.




And because she doesn't want to share her financial assets with her ex-partner/lover/wife (they had TWO ceremonies!) of eight years, Martina has her lawyers in court arguing that because she's a woman who was in a relationship with another woman, the rules of heterosexual divorce shouldn't apply.

Well, guess what, Martina?

If we fight for marriage, we fight for divorce as well.

And, like this great article by Louis Bayard in Salon says so well, Marriage is a prize, but it also comes with a price.

Come on!

We need you as a role model. As a gay icon.

Suck it up, and pay the damn price of equality, Martina.

And, um... better luck with wife #3.

President Obama Talks More Talk... But it's pretty wonderful talk!

The truth is when these folks protested at Stonewall 40 years ago no one could have imagined that you -- or, for that matter, I -- (laughter) -- would be standing here today. (Applause.) So we are all witnesses to monumental changes in this country. That should give us hope, but we cannot rest. We must continue to do our part to make progress -- step by step, law by law, mind by changing mind. And I want you to know that in this task I will not only be your friend, I will continue to be an ally and a champion and a President who fights with you and for you.

President Obama, at a LGBT Pride month reception Monday afternoon (June 29, 2009) at the White House.

I have to say, it's pretty wonderful talk -
read the full transcript here at the white house web site! -
and an article about the reception, here.
There's even a video of the event here!

Here's another choice quote from our President's remarks:

But I say this: We have made progress and we will make more. And I want you to know that I expect and hope to be judged not by words, not by promises I've made, but by the promises that my administration keeps. And by the time you receive -- (applause.) We've been in office six months now. I suspect that by the time this administration is over, I think you guys will have pretty good feelings about the Obama administration. (Applause.)

Okay President Obama, sounds good. But we're still waiting for ACTION!

Namaste,
Lee

New Hampshire gets Same Gender Marriage Equality!!!

6 States!!!

"A lot of New Hampshire families have come to know people in their families who are gay -- co-workers, former classmates -- and that's what really made this difference. We are no longer talking about an issue. We are talking about people."

-- The Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson, Episcopal bishop of New Hampshire, the church's only openly gay bishop


Check out more details about New Hampshire's crossing over to the side of equal rights for our GLBTQ community in this Yahoo news article here.

The great "Gay New Hampshire" flag image is from here.

A Gay Teenager, James Neilly, testifies in Vermont: "It's really hard to feel equal when you don't have the same rights."

I've got a new hero:

James Neilly is a Junior in High School in Vermont, and he testified last Friday on the same-gender marriage battle:




It's amazing to me that James is this eloquent and self-assured at 17.

His parents should be proud of him.

The Gay (GLBTQ) Community should be proud of him.

I know I'm proud of him.

Bravo, James. Bravo!

The news as of now - Vermont's Senate voted 26 to 4 in favor of same gender marriage on Monday. Now it's going to the House, which is also expected to pass the law.

The Governor, however, on Wednesday said he's going to veto it.

It's "unclear" whether the legislature will try to override a possible veto... (Check out this CNN article here for more details.)

BONUS POST: St. Patrick's Day Discrimination Update! Chrisine Quinn (and "the GAYS") won't be marching in New York City Today.

New York City Council Speaker Christine C. Quinn is an openly Gay Irish American.

Once again, as reported in the NY Times, she's been invited to participate in the annual New York City's St. Patrick's Day Parade, provided she doesn't display ANYTHING hinting at gay pride - they'll allow her to celebrate being Irish, but only if she's willing to be closeted about being a Lesbian.

She's boycotted it since 2006.

Instead, she'll be at a reception at the Obama White house, meeting the Prime Minister of Ireland tonight.

But isn't it crazy that she can't be part of the 150,000 people who march in today's parade in New York?

To protest, and to once again break the news about all the things the GAYS and the IRISH have in common, here's my vlog, "Good News for Gays and Leprechauns!"




Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Lee

California Court Allows Christian School to expel lesbian students: Is that what Jesus would do?

I was going to go with a more "traditional" image of Jesus, but this painting, by Antonio Ciseri, 19th c. is called "Ecce Homo!" (Behold the Man!), and that was too good to pass up! (It depicts Pontius Pilate presenting a scourged Jesus of Nazareth to onlookers.)


Okay, this is crazy...

From a judgment made this week, and reported on AP news:

Court: Christian school can expel lesbian students

The Associated Press

Posted: 01/27/2009 05:29:59 PM PST

RIVERSIDE, Calif.—A California appeals court has ruled that a private Christian high school has the right to expel students because of an alleged lesbian relationship.

The 4th District Court of Appeal in Riverside on Monday upheld California Lutheran High School's right as a private, religious organization to exclude students based on their sexual orientation.

Two teens filed a lawsuit claiming they were discriminated against after they were expelled from the Wildomar school in 2005 because of an alleged lesbian relationship.

A court in Riverside found that the school had the right to expel the girls because the school isn't bound by the same anti-discrimination laws as a business establishment.

John McKay, attorney for California Lutheran, says the school's goal is to educate children based on Christian principles.

The attorney for the girls could not be immediately reached Tuesday.

Would the school have expelled the students for suddenly being black (suddenly discovering African American Ancestry?) I think not.

Would the school have expelled the students for suddenly realizing they didn't believe in God after all and that they were atheists? I wonder...

But the school DID expel the students for suddenly realizing that same-gender attraction was a part of who they intrinsically are.


Now I suppose I could make the argument that you should be allowed to have a school whose goal was to only have people who believe in "A" attend. Anyone who believes something different would be excluded.

But should you be allowed to have a school whose goal is to only have people from one group attend? And anyone outside that group can be excluded? (i.e., no asians or blacks?) I'm really uncomfortable with that...

One problem with this is that kids generally don't choose their school themselves, their parents/caretakers do. And understanding and being true to your sexual orientation is often a process of unfolding that takes time and courage.

It seems really unfair that if a high school student growing up in a culture and a school that's pretty homophobic to begin with finds the courage to be honest about their same-gender attraction - and then, against all odds, finds another student who has been on the same journey, and they fall in love...

For them to be expelled seems cruel.

For the court to tell the school that it's okay for them to discriminate against GLBTQ students, for them to expel the girls for being bi, or lesbian, seems like a horrible precedent.

The issue of expelling the girls for WHO THEY ARE is the crux of this.

Maybe a private religious school can set up rules against dating for everyone (stupid and pointless though that would be) but to kick out kids based on their innate being is just plain wrong.


Now I did read the court's opinion (you can download it here.) Basically, they said that the school is like the Boy Scouts - because their mission is to instill the "values" of their organization, they can exclude anyone who doesn't live up to those "values," and it's legal.

I argue that it's not moral. It's not what Jesus would do.

And this is my problem with the Boy Scouts, too! Being Gay does not conflict with the core values of the Boy Scouts, trying to help kids grow up to be:

trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent.

And it seems to me, being Gay does not conflict with the core value that Jesus taught, either, to have each of us:

reach out with love

But I guess the school isn't really interested in what Jesus would do.


What do you think? Did the court rule correctly? What about what the school did?


Watch for my follow-up post next week: How the girls were found out!