Donovan's Big Day - A Two Mom Wedding Picture Book That I Wish Had Been Read To Me When I Was A Little Kid

By Leslea Newman, illustrated by Mike Dutton

Donovan got up, and remembered that it was a Big Day.

He had a lot to do: eat breakfast, get clean, get dressed, and then Donovan was given a very important small box.

At the right moment in the ceremony (an Aunt tells him it's time)...

He opened the box very carefully.
He handed one shiny gold ring to Mommy.
He handed one shiny gold ring to Mama.
He stood next to both of them
without saying a word
while they slid the shiny gold rings
onto each other's fingers,
looked into each other's eyes,
said mushy things to each other,
and smiled and laughed and cried.

Check out the interior illustration of that moment:



This is a beautiful picture book. The text is spare and heartfelt, and the illustrations are luminous and so appealing.

Leslea did something so interesting in creating this "same-sex marriage celebration seen through the eyes of a child" - in that a child having this read to them wouldn't know Donovan has two moms until that moment in the wedding ceremony, four pages from the end. Everything up till then is universal, for any child, for any wedding.

And I love the point that this story makes - our queer love is just the same: something to celebrate!

Leslea Newman keeps breaking new ground and writing important, beautiful books that I love. And I'll keep telling you about them!

Namaste,
Lee

The BEST Gay Marriage AD I've Seen... It's from IRELAND, and it's GENIUS!

YEAH! AWESOME!! YEAH!!!

Same Gender Marriages in VERMONT are happening NOW!!

And what's extra sweet is that Vermont is the first state that did this through its legislature rather than through the courts.

Hurray!

Here's a link to a full article on the first Gay couple to get legally married under Vermont's new law!

My one point is that I wish the article wasn't titled "Same-Sex Marriages Begin In Vermont." Because I think that when most straight people hear "Same-Sex" they focus on the "SEX" part, and suddenly our relationships and our rituals and our lives are reduced to what we do in bed.

Suddenly, the sweet story of Bill Slimback and Bob Sullivan getting married at one minute past midnight,

Dressed in suits, saying their vows under a large wall-mounted moose head, the two Whitehall, N.Y., men promised their love, exchanged rings and held hands during a modest 17-minute ceremony. Moose Meadow Lodge co-owner Greg Trulson, who's also a Justice of the Peace, presided.

Is read with the filter of it being all about sex.

And for many straight people who aren't particularly comfortable with the idea of sex between men (for some reason, lesbians turn them on) our marriages end up being categorized as belonging on a edgy HBO series like OZ (think prison shower rape scenes) rather than the reference points most marriages have - loving, honoring, cherishing, standing up before friends and family and saying to the world:

This is my love, for all time. Support us. Celebrate us. Today, with this ritual, we are a new family.

Because no matter the gender of the couple getting married, THAT'S what marriage is about.

Welcome to all the same-gender couples who are getting legally married in Vermont.

My husband and I raise a glass of sparkling apple juice and toast you!

Congratulations!

Namaste,
Lee

ps - For an interesting blog post on the lesson Obama can learn on Health Care Reform from the legalization of Same Gender Marriage in Vermont, check this out.

Martina, Martina, Martina... What are you THINKING???

Martina Navratilova is a gay icon. A gay civil rights pioneer.

She's the face of the Rainbow Endowment.




And because she doesn't want to share her financial assets with her ex-partner/lover/wife (they had TWO ceremonies!) of eight years, Martina has her lawyers in court arguing that because she's a woman who was in a relationship with another woman, the rules of heterosexual divorce shouldn't apply.

Well, guess what, Martina?

If we fight for marriage, we fight for divorce as well.

And, like this great article by Louis Bayard in Salon says so well, Marriage is a prize, but it also comes with a price.

Come on!

We need you as a role model. As a gay icon.

Suck it up, and pay the damn price of equality, Martina.

And, um... better luck with wife #3.

Watch The Gay Star Trek Episode... Okay, it's Star Trek: Phase II (fan fiction) but it's a future with same-gender marriage and a gay love story!

Space. The final frontier.

Imagine a fourth season of the Starship Enterprise's original TV series run in 1969...

A season where all the parts have been re-cast, and yet many of the sets, costumes, and sound effects remain the same.

And this, the "gay" episode, which had been written for the actual series, approved by Gene Roddenberry, and then rejected by NBC at the time, is now resurrected...

As Star Trek: Phase II "Blood and Fire"

It's really pretty awesome.

Hope you love seeing gay people in the future (as imagined in the 1960s) as much as I do!

Enjoy,


Blood and Fire, part 1



Blood and Fire, part 2



Blood and Fire, part 3



Blood and Fire, part 4



Blood and Fire, part 5




Pretty cool, huh?

Don't you wanna know what happens? If they survive? If Captain Kirk marries them after all?

I do!


Find out more about Star Trek: Phase II here!

New Hampshire gets Same Gender Marriage Equality!!!

6 States!!!

"A lot of New Hampshire families have come to know people in their families who are gay -- co-workers, former classmates -- and that's what really made this difference. We are no longer talking about an issue. We are talking about people."

-- The Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson, Episcopal bishop of New Hampshire, the church's only openly gay bishop


Check out more details about New Hampshire's crossing over to the side of equal rights for our GLBTQ community in this Yahoo news article here.

The great "Gay New Hampshire" flag image is from here.

Same Gender Marriage in California - The CA Supreme Court Issues a Bittersweet Ruling on Prop 8

So my same-gender marriage, and the other 18,000 same gender marriages that happened last year are LEGAL, and will remain LEGAL.

But Prop 8 was upheld, and no other same-gender marriages can be performed (or will be recognized) in California.

How incredibly ridiculous is that?

7 out of 7 judges upheld my marriage.

But only 1 out of 7 understood the basic principals at play under all the legalese - that for a majority to deny a minority its rights is NOT the American Way!

In Justice Moreno’s view, “[d]enying the designation of marriage to same-sex couples cannot fairly be described as a ‘narrow’ or ‘limited’ exception to the requirement of equal protection,” but adds that “even a narrow and limited exception to the promise of full equality strikes at the core of, and thus fundamentally alters, the guarantee of equal treatment . . . . Promising equal treatment to some is fundamentally different from promising equal treatment for all. Promising treatment that is almost equal is fundamentally different from ensuring truly equal treatment. Granting a disfavored minority only some of the rights enjoyed by the majority is fundamentally different from recognizing, as a constitutional imperative, that they must be granted all of those rights.”


Justice Moreno declares that “Proposition 8 represents an unprecedented instance of a majority of voters altering the meaning of the equal protection clause by modifying the California Constitution to require deprivation of a fundamental right on the basis of a suspect classification.” He states that “[t]he rule the majority crafts today not only allows same-sex couples to be stripped of the right to marry that this court recognized in the Marriage Cases, it places at risk the state constitutional rights of all disfavored minorities” and “weakens the status of our state Constitution as a bulwark of fundamental rights for minorities protected from the will of the majority.”

I suggest the other 6 Justices, and everyone else for that matter, re-read this:



And think about the spirit and the meaning of these words, from the Preamble to our nation's "DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE"

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Everyone can understand ALL people should have equal rights. I was raised to believe that's what AMERICA stands for!

The California Supreme Court embarrassed itself today with this Prop 8 ruling. And while I'm grateful that they upheld the legality of my marriage, I'm appalled at their coming down on the WRONG side of equality for everyone else.

A little sweet.

A lot bitter.

A very bitter-sweet day.

The fight will continue...

Namaste,

Lee

Hope, Part 2: A 3rd Grader puts together a rally of hundreds of people for same-gender marriage!

A few days ago a teacher contacted me to let me know that one of his 3rd grade students had put together a marriage equality rally... at the state capital in Denver, Colorado! (Here's one of the many articles on Ethan's rally in the Denver Post.)

Here are some photos from Ethan's Rally that his teacher sent me to share with you all:






Times like these make us yearn for hope. And this child, nine year old Ethan - who is so wise, gives it to us.


UPDATE: HERE'S VIDEO OF ETHAN'S RALLY!!!




Here is the text of the speech that Ethan read on the steps of his state's capitol building:

First I want to thank everyone for coming, specifically the speakers that took their free time to come and speak and support me and equal marriage rights.

At our rally today there might be some people that have a different view than us and they might say some unkind things, but please keep all of your positive energy on the rally. Despite the view of these people

I believe that I am doing the right thing and it will help lots and lots of people and make many lives better.

I believe that everybody is equal. No matter their religion, race, or sexual orientation. In the past different figures in history have improved civil rights, like Martin Luther King and Ghandi. And things got better. But not for everyone.

We need to continue to fight for equal rights for gays and lesbians. Over time things have gotten better for gays and lesbians, but there are two things that have not improved: 1. equal protection for gays and lesbians and 2. Equal marriage rights for gays and lesbians.

I believe that everybody deserves equal protection. This includes police officers and government officials, without bias. On July 9, 2008 an off duty police officer threw the first punch in an anti-gay bar fight and smashed a glass into a gay man’s face before running off. In school you’re taught that the police are supposed to be your friend. How are you supposed to believe that when you’re gay and a police officer just smashed a glass into a gay person’s face? Have you ever heard of a police officer smashing a glass into a straight man’s face? [not all police officers are like this]

I also believe that everyone deserves the choice to get married. I don’t understand why people seem to think that civil unions are the same as marriage? In civil unions you don't get the same benefits such as if your partner dies you don't get their retirement Why are straight couples better than gay and lesbian couples? If you were gay or lesbian how would you feel if you weren’t allowed to get married then later you
see a straight couple get married? People marry because they love each other and want to stay together the rest of their lives. That’s important to children and to adults. If you are married you can go to the hospital to see your partner. If you aren’t married you can’t be there if your partner is sick or dies just because you are gay and lesbian? Do you think that’s fair that one person can stand by their partner when they are sick but a gay or lesbian person can’t? But getting married is not only a right but a responsibility.

In conclusion, there is a lot more work to be done regarding marriage equality and equal protection. I hope this rally will make an impact and let our voices be heard. Once again I would like to thank everybody for coming.

Wow. I have another new hero. And I feel hope for the future of our world!

Thank you Ethan. And thanks to your Mom and to your teacher for supporting you in this amazing step for Gay rights!

With great respect,
Namaste,

Lee

Maine Governor signs Same-Gender Marriage Law! Maine becomes the 5th state with Legal Same-Gender Marriage

Now we can imagine that the Farmer and the Sailor
on the Maine Flag are actually a gay couple
- and that they're LEGALLY MARRIED!!!

Wow. We're up to 10%. 5 out of 50 states. Vermont, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Iowa, and now Maine.

And we'll see where California ends up with the State Supreme Court's ruling on the legality of Prop 8... And on Tuesday of this week Washington, D.C., voted to recognize out-of-district same-gender marriages (though it still has to be approved by the US Congress)

What's really fascinating about Maine's entering on the side of same-gender marriage equality is what John Baldacci, the previously anti-gay marriage Governor of Maine, said in his written statment:

"In the past, I opposed gay marriage while supporting the idea of civil unions," Baldacci said in a written statement. "I have come to believe that this is a question of fairness and of equal protection under the law, and that a civil union is not equal to civil marriage."

And while there still may be a public referendum in Maine (what they call a "People's Veto") to strike same-gender marriage down, for now, we get to celebrate some Progress.

We will get to equality. One state at a time...

Miss California LOSES the Miss USA Pageant because of her anti-same gender marriage answer. Go Perez Hilton!

Okay, this past Sunday night, April 19, 2009. The Miss USA Pageant - Live, from Las Vegas.

Perez Hilton, one of the judges, asked Miss California, Carrie Prejean, who was arguably in the lead, whether or not she thinks every state should have same-sex marriage.

Listen to her answer, and why Perez thinks it cost her the crown, here. (The video is of Larry King's interview with Perez Hilton about what happened, hosted on Perez Hilton's site.)

Congratulations to the winner,

Miss USA 2009 Kristen Dalton, Miss North Carolina

Kristen had to answer a different question, but I hope she's learned that to be Miss USA, you had better represent ALL of the USA, and that includes us Gays!

It's fascinating how because of the controversy over her answer, Miss California is getting MORE attention in the news than the winner. How about a statement of support for the gay community, Kristen? You might just get a bit of your own thunder back!

your thoughts?

Namaste,
Lee

GSA Monday Topic: How Do YOU Define "Marriage?" Check out this new Merriam-Webster Definition!

Okay, so there's been all this talk and fighting and propositions and laws and lawsuits and constitutional amendments about "Marriage," and "re-defining Marriage."

This is as close as my rather dog-eared "Webster's new Twentieth Century Dictionary, Second Edition, Copyright 1979" got to including me and my husband in the definition of "Marriage."






Well, amusingly enough, one major dictionary, Merriam-Webster, changed their definition of "marriage" back in 2003 - and no one noticed until recently!!!

Here it is (you can link to it here):

mar·riage

Pronunciation:

\ˈmer-ij, ˈma-rij\

Function:

noun

Etymology:

Middle English mariage, from Anglo-French, from marier to marry

Date:

14th century

1 a (1): the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2): the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage marriage> b: the mutual relation of married persons : wedlock c: the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage2: an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected ; especially : the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities3: an intimate or close union marriage of painting and poetry — J. T. Shawcross>

The Houghton Mifflin dictionary (Yahoo's choice, here) defines it as:

mar·riage (mrj) KEY

NOUN:

1. 1. The legal union of a man and woman as husband and wife.
   2. The state of being married; wedlock.
   3. A common-law marriage.
   4. A union between two persons having the customary but usually not the legal force of marriage: a same-sex marriage.

I'm happy to be included - a little disappointed that both dictionaries went with "same-sex" rather than "same-gender" but still, it's progress.

It does raise the rather wonderful question: How would YOU define "marriage?"

Would your definition include gender? religion? civil recognition?

What does marriage mean to you?

Try writing it out. And feel free to share your definition here, in comments!

A Gay Teenager, James Neilly, testifies in Vermont: "It's really hard to feel equal when you don't have the same rights."

I've got a new hero:

James Neilly is a Junior in High School in Vermont, and he testified last Friday on the same-gender marriage battle:




It's amazing to me that James is this eloquent and self-assured at 17.

His parents should be proud of him.

The Gay (GLBTQ) Community should be proud of him.

I know I'm proud of him.

Bravo, James. Bravo!

The news as of now - Vermont's Senate voted 26 to 4 in favor of same gender marriage on Monday. Now it's going to the House, which is also expected to pass the law.

The Governor, however, on Wednesday said he's going to veto it.

It's "unclear" whether the legislature will try to override a possible veto... (Check out this CNN article here for more details.)

GSA Monday Topic: Angry Gay Men, Sad Lesbians: Deconstructing Media Images of the Same-Gender Marriage Controversy as Prop 8 Goes Before the Court

It's fascinating to look how we're being portrayed in the most prominent photos accompanying the news articles on Prop 8 going before the California Supreme Court this past Friday.

What do these images say about media biases?

What do they say about how good a job we are doing as a community in being heard?

Take a look at these photos below (click on them to go to the on-line article they came from) and see what you think:

Angry Same-Gender Marriage Supporter, from the Los Angeles Times

Angry Same-Gender Marriage Supporter, from the Wall Street Journal

Sad/Hopeful Lesbians from the San Francisco Chronicle:

Hopeful Same-Gender Marriage Supporters, From The Orange County Register:




Earnest Defense: Here's one from the Sacramento Bee of an angry anti-gay marriage protester, which shows a more nuanced response from a pro-gay marriage supporter:



And The New York Times' photo lets you focus on whichever side of the issue you're on:


My eye goes right to the gay couple in the foreground, one with his arm around the other, holding up the "Love will Conquer H8" sign , but I bet that people who DON'T want Gays to have the right to marry focus on the woman and man on either side of the male couple who carry "traditional" marriage signs.


Take a look at YOUR local news coverage of Prop 8 being debated in front of the California Supreme Court. What does it say about the biases of the media where YOU live?


What images really speak to you?

For me, the image that spoke the MOST was this one, from The Seattle Times (It was also used on the front page of The Philadelphia Inquirer):


What do you think?

Namaste,

Lee