Queer Kid Lit Inspiration from #LA19SCBWI

I love the SCBWI Summer Conference, and while I wasn't able to attend the whole event this year (a day-job conflict that I will make every effort to avoid happening again!) I did have some amazing moments.

The two that resonate the most strongly were from the same session, the LGBTQ and Allies Social I hosted on Friday night.

In the course of the discussion, I shared that one of my challenges as a creator of work for children and teens that includes LGBTQ characters and themes are the voices that tell me to make things less gay. Part of that I'm sure is internalized homophobia from my childhood. But part is external, the voices of well-meaning folks who want to see me succeed and think the way to do that is to have my work be not quite so... well, Queer. To pull back. To not stand out so much. And I hear it. Quite a bit.

I shared with the group that what I really need is a community of people who tell me the opposite. That my dream is to have a creative community that tells me, "Make it Gayer, Lee!" A creative community that urges me to take risks. To tell the stories I so deeply need to tell, and to push myself to make them as Queer as possible.

Bruce Coville was there, and in a conversation about defining success, we discussed his including a positive gay role model in The Skull of Truth. Which, I said, was really brave of him as it was such a breakthrough (it was published in 1997.)

And Bruce said, "I wasn't brave, I was cranky." He wasn't seeing positive representations of gay people in middle grade books. And so he decided to do something about it himself. He told us about losing a few school visits over it, but ultimately, "Saying what you want to say is way more important." Bruce said that sometimes, success can be defined in terms of "What barrier can I push?"

And then, at the end of the evening's session, illustrator Mara Williams showed me what she'd been working on in her sketchbook:

Thank you, Mara. And thank you, Bruce!

I'll get back to work pushing those barriers. And I'll make it gayer.

The light in me recognizes and acknowledges the light in you,
Lee

Pride in the Window, or Hidden Away In the Back - A Tale Of Two Stores For LGBTQ Pride Month

I recently had two completely different shopping experiences, in the space of ten minutes.

The Kiehl's store, where I went to pick up the grapefruit bodywash that has changed my mind about scented products, had a diversity pride flag shining out from the three-foot tall statue of liberty decal across their front window.

The saleswoman and I chatted about my husband and teenage daughter, and how we all liked their products. She wished me a happy Gay Pride, excitedly telling me that this was the first year Kiehl's was marching in the Los Angeles Pride parade as well as in the New York City Pride parade. As she rang me up, she offered me two sheets of LGBTQ pride stickers, which included the image of Lady Liberty shining her diversity pride flag.

The amazing Kiehl's Diversity LGBTQ Pride Stickers!

I mentioned that the next day was my anniversary - 22 years with my husband - and that I needed to get him a card. Were there any card stores around? She warmly congratulated me on the anniversary, and then suggested I try out the Hallmark store five shops down.

"Hallmark?" I said, dubious. "Are they going to have anything for two guys?" I was thinking of the pretty heteronormative Hallmark brand I knew, the movies, the whole vibe...

She encouraged me to check it out, and I said I would, and I'd let her know if I found anything. Thinking that, when I went back in a month, I'd tell her I had to go somewhere else because Hallmark wasn't going to have anything.

But I was there, and why not try? Walking into the Hallmark store (where I've never shopped before) didn't change any of my preconceived notions. But the saleswoman smiled as I walked in and asked if she could help me find anything.

I said, "Yes, I'm looking for an anniversary card for two men." (Looking back on this, it's interesting that my language obliquely slipped me into the closet. The card I wanted could have been for friends, the way I said it. That damn closet that I spent so many years in and out of, depending on how safe I felt. I guess, in this store, I didn't feel that safe.)

"Oh, we have a box in the back." She replied.

"Huh?" Not my most eloquent reply, but I didn't know what she meant. There were ten aisles of card racks in the store, each stretching back twenty feet, displaying probably thousands of cards. I headed over to the counter where she stood.

"Yes, like our Spanish language cards." She pointed to a cardboard box on the floor behind her. "I'll just go get them."

While I waited, I headed over to the anniversary section, wondering if I could find something sort of gender-neutral (what I usually do in a pinch), but even the animal card couples were the kind where one penguin wore a dress and the other wore a bow tie.

Then she was back, with a cardboard box full of cards. "Here they are," She set them on the counter, and I started to look through it.

It was a goldmine of LGBTQ greeting cards. Cards congratulating two moms on having a baby. Cards for parents whose child had come out to them about being Trans who wanted to say they loved their child still. And yes, cards for two men celebrating their anniversary and their love.

I found a lot of good options in the LGBTQ box of cards at the Hallmark Store

The card I got was awesome - the printed text on the cover reads:

"You're strong and sexy,
sweet and generous,
funny and tender—
everything a man wants
his husband to be."

and it's stamped Hallmark on the back. It's made with recycled paper. I was so impressed!

And yet...

All these cards were hidden in a box in the back.

There was no signage in the store that would let you know the cards were there. You had to ask.

I asked the saleswoman why the cards weren't on display. June is LGBTQ pride month, after all. And she said they had more cards than they had room to display, as if that made perfect sense to her.

As she rang me up, I fought back my anxiety and I suggested that they might want to put out a handful of the LGBTQ cards on their racks, with signage that they had more, and that customers could ask for them. So people would know they were supportive of the queer community. So people would know that they had all these great cards. For people like me and my husband. (There. I'd come out. Take that, you damn closet!)

I asked if she would pass the comment along to whoever made the decisions on display in their store, and she said she would. It was awkward, but I felt good about asking. About being real about who I am. And I was excited about the "Our Anniversary: Man to Man" card I had found.

I left the Hallmark store, and went right back to Kiehl's.

I found the saleswoman who had been so kind, and told her that to my surprise, I had found some great gay cards, but that they'd had to bring them out from the back in a cardboard box.

"Oh," she laughed. "That's what they make us do for the mahogany cards."

I didn't know the term. "Mahogany," She explained. "Cards that show Black people like me."

And it hit me, what that Hallmark store had so wrong. People who spoke Spanish, Black people, Queer people—none of us were represented on the store floor. We weren't part of their vision of their customers. Of their community.

They had our cards in the back, in cardboard boxes.

They would have our cards in stock, they would take our money, but we weren't important enough to represent on the store floor, even with a handful of cards.

The straight, white, cis-gendered folks had all their cards proudly on display. But anyone different was second-class, and had to ask if, maybe, possibly, in the back, there was something for them. For us.

There was no pride in that box of LGBTQ cards being hidden away.

I hope that Hallmark store changes their approach. Hallmark is making cards for Spanish speakers. They're making cards for and featuring Black people. They're making cards for those of us in the LGBTQ community.

Now they need to put those cards out on display, so they proudly tell everyone—including their straight, white, cis-gendered customers—that celebrating diversity is part of who they are, too.

Because right now, I'll proudly continue to shop at Kiehl's. But I'll think twice before shopping at Hallmark again.

Be you, with Pride!

The light in me recognizes and acknowledges the light in you,
Lee

Does every rainbow say pride? Maybe not. And then again...

So recently my teenage daughter and I were at a party supply store and we came upon this "Pride" display:

The wonky "rainbow" piñata

Check out how it was topped with a piñata—a rainbow piñata.

And I just couldn't get past the idea of people at some party to celebrate Gay Pride smashing the rainbow to get it to "rain" down candy. Destroying the symbol of something you love seems like an odd way to celebrate.

And then, my teen pointed out that they'd gotten the color order of the rainbow wrong, completely wrong. Red is supposed to be on top. Then orange, then yellow, then green, then blue, then purple on the bottom. She was right. This piñata was a mess.

Everything even remotely rainbow-ish was included in this store's "Pride" display, and we looked at it all: ridiculous hand-held pride flags that had the full rainbow twice—twelve stripes in all, one on top of the other; a sequined rainbow dress for $16 (a good deal?);  a hideous rainbow romper outfit (and hideous is being kind); packs of rainbow striped napkins with 10 different colors, and on and on.... Until my daughter pointed out that at least they had a Pride section in the store.

And that, I had to admit, was true. It was cool.

They even had a single hand-held transgender pride flag where they'd gotten the colors right, and we both cheered!

And despite the silly mix of rainbow colors and stripes, in that moment, seeing what an Ally my daughter has become was the real moment of Pride for me. And for that, I'm so grateful.

The light in me recognizes and acknowledges the light in you,
Lee

Maybe we need a new flag for this Fourth of July

I'm feeling a bit less proud of the USA these days, what with our President (for now) Trump always choosing the most selfish, the most bratty, the most prejudiced path forward on seemingly everything.

Then, my friend Karol told me about how Philadelphia Pride came up with a new rainbow pride flag for their observance this year, adding two new stripes to recognize people of color... and they didn't put them at the bottom! People of color (finally) have top billing:

The new Gay Pride Flag

As a white gay man who tries to be an ally for everyone else who is other-ed, I love this!

And it got me thinking. In this political climate where the statement "Black Lives Matter" – a response to the multiple, ongoing killings of innocent people of color by police – is seen as an insult to fragile white people, where a fragile ego-ed white president of privilege can't see that anyone's life matters besides his own family and friends, maybe we need a new flag for our country.

A flag for the resistance.

A flag I can cheer for this Fourth of July, when I'm not feeling much like cheering for my country that feels like it has gone off the rails...

A flag for LGBTQ people, and people of color, for disabled people, and for the 99%, for journalists, and for activists, for environmentalists, and for immigrants, for everyone who is being other-ed, and for awesome straight white people who care about others and are our allies, we are the majority. And this is a democracy. And we will make this right!

Proudly may it wave.

As President Obama (remember those good old days?) likes to quote Martin Luther King, Jr., "the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” And at this moment in history, President (for now) Trump is refracting that arc, trying to force it back towards injustice... But he won't be President forever. (Can we impeach this guy already?) And then we will get this country back on the rails. And we can all help bend that arc once again towards justice. We will get there.

This new flag is a reminder of that. To me. And maybe, to you, too.

The light in me recognizes and acknowledges the light in you,
Lee

Is My Cis Privilege Showing?

I've been thinking about my signature block when I send an email.

Yeah, I know. That sounds pretty self-involved.

But it's sort of the email equivalent of a name tag. And more and more, when I'm going to LGBTQ-inclusive, LGBTQ-sensitive events, I don't just put my name, "Lee," I'm also asked to share my personal gender pronoun (or PDP). I put He/Him/His under my name, and that's been that.

Only... I recently got an email from someone who had, after their name in the signature block, their pronouns. And I starting thinking... Should I do the same?

Given that I look like a guy, and my pronouns are the guy ones, would it just be perceived as me flaunting my cis privilege?

But as I dug deeper into why I maybe should do it, I came up with three better reasons:

1. To acknowledge there are other options besides the binary cis vision of gender.

2. To present the idea that someone who presents as a guy might not feel the "guy" pronouns works for them.

3. It's a way to for me to communicate to people living their lives outside cis-normative gender boundaries that I am their ally.

And I'm all about being an Ally.

So now, my signature block reads:

Lee Wind, M.Ed.
pronouns: he/him/his

and then the rest.

How about you? Would you consider adding your pronouns to your signature, and maybe even your social media profiles, as a sign of ally-ship for the Trans and gender non-conforming community?

The light in me recognizes and acknowledges the light in you,
Lee


ps: because most cis people don't know what "PGP," or personal gender pronouns, stands for, I've gone with the simpler "pronouns" followed by a colon.

pps: need a refresher on "cis" versus "trans" in regards to gender? Check out episode 4 of Gender 101.

The 8 Best Things I Get From Attending #SCBWI Conferences (like the upcoming #NY17SCBWI)

I'm pretty excited about the 18th Annual SCBWI Winter Conference in New York City, coming up this February 10-12. To share why it's always such a highlight for me, here's a list. For those of you who write and/or illustrate works for kids and teens, I wonder how many of these resonate for you, too...

#1 I'm not alone. 

From the moment you arrive in the hotel lobby, there's a buzz of other creative people who share a passion for creating books and stories for kids and teens. You may be the only one in your family who writes, and maybe the people closest to you don't completely "get" it, but for the next few days, you will be SURROUNDED by more than a thousand fellow travelers who not only "get" it, but feel it, too. You're not alone. We're in this together.

#2 I'm inspired!

Sometimes it happens during a keynote. Sometimes in a breakout session. Sometimes while doing a writing exercise in an intensive. Sometimes it's from a guided meditation or yoga class. Sometimes it's something someone said in line while you're both waiting for that slice of pizza, but every day there are moments that inspire me.

#3 I'm learning.

There's always something new that I learn about this children's publishing business, and the publisher, editor, art director, and agent heavy hitters deliver!

#4 I'm improving.

Craft. Even if I'm stealing moments to try out something a wonderful author said in a workshop, or experimenting with flipping a POV, or even trying to outline my novel in a thematic chart like J.K. Rowling did for Harry Potter, I keep working at it, and my craft always gets better.

#5 I'm sharing.

Also known as networking, what this really translates to is that so much of what we do as writers is solitary. So being able to to answer "what are you working on?" and talk about the manuscripts that are exciting me as I create them, to people that actually care about the answer, is wonderful.

#6 I'm finding opportunities.

At every single conference, there has been some opportunity to continue that conversation about my projects. Either with a new possible critique partner, or someone offering to help me on my journey, or, before I had an agent, an agent asking to see something, or an editor interested in having my work submitted to them, or someone with a possible speaking gig, or someone equally passionate about #WeNeedDiverseBooks wanting to join forces, or someone doing something unique and inspiring that I want to feature on the SCBWI blog, or someone with an LGBTQ kids or teen book to highlight on this blog, there's always a list of wonderful follow-ups from every conference I attend.

#7 I'm holding safe space for writing and illustrating LGBTQ characters and themes.

At every conference in New York and Los Angeles since 2009, I've hosted the LGBTQ + Allies Q&A sessions. We always get great faculty guests to come and share their perspective and answer attendee questions about writing and illustrating LGBTQ characters and themes. I'm proud and honored to be able to contribute in this way.

#8 I'm blogging.

Taking notes, blogging at the official conference blog, and tweeting updates as the conference day unfolds keeps me alert and accountable and processing throughout. And I'm so fortunate to be blogging with an amazing team: Martha Brockenbrough, Jolie Stekley, Jaime Temairik, and Don Tate. Pro Tip: Follow the #NY17SCBWI hashtag on your favorite social media channel to see moments from the conference unfold in real time. Twitter is really good for great quotes. And follow the official SCBWI conference blog for more in-depth reporting on the keynotes, panels, and sessions.

BONUS: I'm open to the unexpected.

There's always a twist. A middle-of-the-night inspiration for a new picture book manuscript. Or a character breakthrough. Or an unexpected new friendship. Or a kindness extended to me that changes everything about a project I'm working on...

I love the SCBWI Winter and Summer Conferences. And I hope I get to see you at this one!

You can find out all the information about #NY17SCBWI here.

The light in me recognizes and acknowledges the light in you,
Lee

65 in 2016

I'm thinking about numbers a lot this week.

And control.

And how I need to pull back my emotional focus (being happy, being frustrated, being proud, being disappointed, being motivated, etc...) to the things I can control.

And maybe invest less of my ego into what numbers mean...

But it's hard work. Numbers surround us, and we're all so eager to quantify things we can forget about the quality of things.

Numbers on my mind...

0 - the number of 'agent looking for diversity' interviews happening this month. Disappointing, but ultimately not something I could control. (Interviews, like dancing the tango, take two.)

2 - ninth grade classes I'm speaking to tomorrow (about being a gay dad, about the difference between gender identity and affective orientation, about what all the initials in the LGBTQAI+ acronym mean, about how we can all stand up as Allies for everyone else, and hopefully they'll stand up for us -- and transform the world.)

23 - agent and editor "looking for diversity interviews" that did happen over the last few years.

50 - my age on Wednesday. (Birthdays with zeroes at the end get so much hype...)

65 - LGBTQ themed or significant LGBTQ character books for kids and teens on the American Library Association's Rainbow List nomination list for 2016. Sixty-five books in one year. Wow! (When I started this blog in 2007, there weren't 65 books total!)

1,979,465 - the number of page views to this blog since that first post on September 15, 2007. I'm proud of that reach, but that's not a number I control. Maybe I should be prouder of this being the 2,130th post on this blog.

Advice to myself:

Be the lighthouse, and don't value my light by how many boats it saves. Know the light has value if it saves one boat. Know the light has value because it's light. 

one more number on my mind:

1 - grateful me.

The light in me recognizes and acknowledges the light in you,
Lee

Perspective, Travel, and Barcelona's Pooping Christmas Creche Figurines

Hello 2017!

2016 had its challenges, but an end-of-year trip helped me change my perspective to determined, optimistic, and yes, allowing myself to have fun and laugh again.

It all started with a rather unique Christmas holiday tradition celebrated in Barcelona, Spain -- the Caganer figure. Basically, it's someone who has pulled their pants down and is taking a dump, and this someone is included in Catalan nativity scenes - There's the baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and yes, a pooping person watching them.

And no, I'm not making this up. As the printed materials explain,

The "caganer" is a typical Catalan figure of the nativity scenes traditionally represented as a farmer with a typical Catalan hat, a red girdle and black pants. It is believed that, with their faeces [sic], these farmers fertilized the soil for the following year. This figure symbolizes luck and joy, and it is said that if you don't include it in the nativity scene it can bring misfortune. In fact, for many celebrities, it has become an honour to have their own "caganer" figure.

There are hundreds and hundreds of these figures, including Beethoven, C3PO (pooping a metal nut), and yes, even Donald Trump. Here's a photo of a Barcelona Christmas fair stall selling these caganer figures:

We had to buy one, if for no other reason than to have proof this was real.

Olaf

A different perspective on Olaf - Caganer style

If there was ever a reminder to not take things too seriously, this was it!

So my thanks to Barcelona, and the privilege of being able to travel, and especially to one crazy-unexpected Christmas tradition for reminding me to:

lighten up 

see the opportunity in challenges (a pooping farmer isn't necessarily a slam-dunk commercial opportunity, but they merchandised the heck out of it!)

and know that luck and joy are right there for all of us... (and that the shit of last year can "fertilize the soil" for the year to come!)

Here's to a fertile, joyous, funny, determined, fighting-for-justice, and sharing-my-light year ahead!

The light in me recognizes and acknowledges the light in you,
Lee

Your cape is ready. Join me.

I've been stitching and sewing and piecing this (and my emotions) together since we learned that the next US President will be Donald Trump.

A world with President Trump is a world that is going to need a lot of progressive, fair-minded heroes. Superheroes.

It's a world that is going to need every one of us to stand up, raise our voices, and use the power of Truth and Love to fight injustice -- what Mahatma Gandhi called Satyagraha.

"Satyagraha is soul-force pure and simple." - Mohandas Gandhi

We have our power. And our cape.

And we will be #StrongerTogether.

Now more than ever.

Lee

Dear President-Elect Trump: You used to be your own boss. Not any more.

Remember that final showdown moment in Disney's Aladdin, where Jafar uses his third and final wish to become the most powerful being he can imagine, a Genie? In achieving his goal, there was a twist that Jafar didn't see coming:

"Phenomenal cosmic powers, itty-bitty living space."

It's happened to you, too.

Not the living space. You'll get to roll into the White House, fly on Air Force One, and have all the bling and trappings of being the most powerful US politician of all. Just like a reality TV show.

Your twist is that now, you work for me.

I didn't vote for you.

But that's what being President means. You have to represent and care for the well-being of the more than 59 million of us who voted for Hillary Clinton, the millions who voted for Gary Johnson and Jill Stein, in addition to the more than 59 million who voted for you.

Now, you work for me, a Gay dad and grown-up child of immigrants who writes books for kids.

Now, you work for my nephew's daughter, an African American high school student with straight A's.

Now, you work for my disabled friend who's a huge Ally to the LGBTQ community.

Now, you work for every single American.

We will keep you accountable. We will require you to be measured. And thoughtful. And balanced as you take action.

Because now, as an elected public servant, you work for us.

And we've learned your reality TV show line:

"You're Fired."



And like every good boss, we won't be afraid to use it.

The Namaste Dilemma

This has been on my mind for over a year, now.

See, I used to end my blog posts here with 'Namaste,' a term I really liked from my time doing yoga. When a yoga class would end, the teacher - no matter who it was - would usually put their palms together over their heart, and say, "Namaste," and those of us in the class would mirror that, hands in front of our hearts, and say, "Namaste" in response.

As it was explained to me, "Namaste" means the light in me recognizes and acknowledges the light in you.

I loved that meaning, and that ritual, and the expression became my way of saying good-bye. I used it everywhere. Freely. Because I do believe that it would be a better world if we all knew we had light inside us, and acknowledged that everyone else had light inside them, too.

But then, it came up (on twitter, actually) that using 'Namaste' as a cultural outsider, I was actually appropriating a sacred term. That I was offending people to whom that expression was a sacred part of their culture.

I questioned: wait, if I'm doing it with respect, with the understanding that what their culture offers in that expression is of value for everyone, is it still appropriation, or is it adoption? Isn't it a sign of my respect in our global world?

No, I was told empathically by two different people, there was no wiggle room. If you're not of the culture (and I'm not) using their term no matter my intent is appropriation, and offensive. And I should stop.

So I stopped. That day.

And yet, it bothered me. Was I so blinded by my white american privilege that I just couldn't get their point of view?

I tried to fold into my processing the context of the larger conversation they were having that I sort of stumbled into - they were voicing their discontent with the commercialization of 'Namaste,' to the point where sweatpants and other work-out gear were being sold with the word emblazoned across the wearer's butt.

That was definitely offensive, and I could see that.

But was there no room for how I had been using the term?

I guess I have to bring up the lighthouse, now.

Anne Lamott, in her brilliant "Bird By Bird," talks about how lighthouses don't run all over an island looking for boats to save. They just stand there, shining.

I love that metaphor, and think a lot about how that's what I'm trying to do. Be a light. With this blog. With my books. With everything I do. Not convince people I'm right if we disagree. But just, be my light. Be authentic, and trust in that. Some people will see my light, and that's great. Others will go in a different direction, and that's okay, too. I can't control them. All I can do is shine my light.

So that circles me back to how I might be able to get that sense of light back into my vocabulary, in a fashion that is respectful. And I think I've found a way. And for the first time, I'll try it in closing this essay. Thanks for reading, and know

The light in me recognizes and acknowledges the light in you,
Lee

Pokémon Go and the Landscape of Hate

Our world, and my news feeds, seem schizophrenic lately. From giddy stories of capturing a rare Ninetails in New York City's Central Park

Look! How cute!

...to seemingly endless stories of hate-fueled terrorism.

The mass shooting of patrons in an Orlando Gay Nightclub.

The bombing of Ramadan celebrants in downtown Baghdad.

The driving a truck into the crowds gathered to watch fireworks in Nice.

It made me think of a different mobile phone app someone might create, one that would show photos of the dead when you're at the location where they were murdered. Almost like ghosts, viewing the real-life scene through your phone would reveal photos of the people who had been killed, and maybe a bit of their life story, to honor them.

But I wonder if it would all be too overwhelming. In the past seven years, 1,933 transgender people were murdered worldwide. And just showing up somewhere where a terror attack occurred, like the site of the World Trade Center memorial, would show you 2,753 souls floating around the former twin towers.

And somewhere like Auschwitz, where they are memorializing the murder of 1.1 million people in its gas chambers, would ground anyone to a halt. 1.1 million photos of people whose lives were ended by hate. At least, it would stop short those visitors who weren't playing Pokémon Go on its grounds... (Yes, Auschwitz had to ask people to stop playing the game there!)

Pokémon at Auschwitz. Not Cute.

So much death. So much hate.

It seems our way of coping is to push it out of our minds - to jump on the latest craze (like Pokémon Go), and to have yesterday's tragic news replaced in the news cycle by today's newer tragedy. Like how no one talks about any of these ten attacks from 2015 anymore, which also says something about the lives lost being people of color and how prejudiced our media really is.

How can we respond to so much hate?

Maybe by standing up. By raising our voices. By voting, and speaking, and working for a better world.

Perhaps the app we really need is an UPstander! app. One that when you get on a bus in Montgomery, Alabama, you see images of Rosa Parks and Bayard Rustin, and other civil rights activists who were arrested on segregated buses, and learn about their role in the civil rights movement.

An app where, when you visit the now-landmark status Stonewall Inn, you see images of the drag queens and other patrons who fought back against police brutality and stood up, marking a turning point in the modern struggle for LGBTQ rights. And you learn about their stories.

An app where, when you visit every house and office in Denmark where non-Jews hid their Jewish countrymen from the Nazis, you see that act of bravery honored and remembered.

And maybe THAT kind of app would inspire people to get out, walk around, and see our world differently (like Pokémon Go does)... and also inspire people to stand up to the hate.

Standing up is our power.

And we need to use it.

Lee

Thanks to Elizabeth for the Pokemon in Central Park photo, and to @astroehlein on twitter for the screen shot (and very appropriate "What the hell is wrong with people?" comment) of the Pokemon at Auschwitz.

It's My Blog Birthday - 3 Years of posts on GLBTQ Teen Books, Culture and Politics!!!

Have a virtual cupcake. Go ahead - they're delicious. And guilt-free!

Wow.

3 Years.

More than 369,000 page loads. Over 219,000 unique visitors. And topping 25,000 repeat visitors!

Readers from over 100 countries around the world. And so far,

129 books with Gay Teen Characters/Themes

69 books with Lesbian Teen Characters/Themes

8 books with Bisexual Teen Characters/Themes

6 books with Transgender Teen Characters/Themes

18 books with Questioning Teen Characters/Themes

13 books with Queer (Gender Non-Conforming) Teen Characters/Themes

23 books with an Ensemble that includes GLBTQ Teen Characters

35 books with a GLBTQ Parent/Caretaker

9 books on Friends and Family of GLBTQ Characters

10 books with Homophobia as a Theme

16 GLBTQ YA Graphic Novels and Comics

1 Easy Reader/Chapter Book with GLBTQ (and Gender Non-Conforming) Content

15 Picture books I Wish Had Been Read To Me When I Was A Little Kid

2 Books with Surprise Gay (GLBTQ) Content

A GLBTQ Middle Grade Bookshelf

The Gay (GLBTQ) Fantasy Bookshelf

And, thanks to our fabulous first Summer Intern Hannah, 14 books in the GLBTQ Teen Short Story Bookshelf!

And more than those numbers, this blog is about Books revealed. Information shared. Lives touched.

"i'm seventeen, and i'm about to come out to my parents... i'm scared as hell, but i'm just so tired of hiding and lying. I always knew I would do it eventually, but when i read posts like yours, it gives me more courage and strength. Coming Out Day is in a few weeks:)
thank you :D"

"Love your "I'm here. I'm Queer." blog. It's help me find books I can relate to and those books have helped me through some really rough times."

"I think what you're doing is really great. I love reading lgbqt books because they're so much more interesting and realistic than the run-of-the-mill cliche love story. I have big issue with stereotypes and ignorant generalizations, and through reading these books one finds how unique all of our stories are. It's awesome that you've created a place where people can go to find these books."

This blog is part of a vibrant community engaged on culture, politics, and literature.


And my heart is so full of joy.


Thank you to all of you - my online community.

Hip-Hip Hurray! Hip-Hip Hurray! Hip-Hip Hurray!

Namaste,
Lee

Gay for Pay: What's Missing From the "Straight Actors Can Play Gay But Gay Actors Can't Play Straight Convincingly" Dust-Up

So there was this Newsweek column a few days ago by an openly gay entertainment reporter, Ramin Setoodeh:

Straight Jacket: Heterosexual actors play Gay all the time. Why doesn't it ever work in reverse?

about how we, as a society, are willing to watch straight actors play gay (think Brokeback Mountain, where both Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal are straight actors who play these cowboys who fall in passionate love with each other...) but that gay actors, when they try to play straight, make a farce of it.

He cites as proof the "there's something about his performance that feels off" Jonathan Groff as Jesse St. James - Rachel's love interest on "Glee," and also the "it's weird to see Hayes play straight" Sean Hayes (the more flamboyant gay character from Will and Grace, who recently came out) as the romantic lead versus Kristin Chenoweth on Broadway in "Promises, Promises."

The openly gay actor Jonathan Groff as Jesse St. James
getting all singy-makey-outy with
Lea Michelle as Rachel Barry in the Broadway musical "Spring Awakening."

They play love interests to each other once again in "Glee,"
and you can see a video of one of their scenes together here!

Here they are together in a still from "Glee"

There's been a lot of noise and blowback on the premise (and the specifics) of the article (like this great rebuttal by David Dean Bottrell here, and Kristin Chenowith's rebuke of Newsweek for even running the piece in the first place, calling it "horrendously homophobic") at the article's upshot - that gay actors understandably stay closeted because no one can believe a gay actor playing straight. Then of course, the author of the article published a defense, here. And most recently, this great article by Aaron Sorkin pointing out that the real culprit is our culture's obsession with the private lives of public people. Tabloids. "Entertainment" shows.

My first reaction to this whole thing was "really? Jesse St. James is being played by a gay actor? How cool is that!"

My second reaction was that I'm wondering if watching a known heterosexual actor play gay makes it somehow feel "safer" for people uncomfortable with gay sexuality to watch. Watching two guys kiss passionately, and knowing they're enjoying it, might be uncomfortable in that it makes them reflect on their own sexuality, or their own discomfort.

But watching two guys kiss passionately, and knowing they're really straight, and are probably just doing it because it's a good job, and pays well... well, everyone does stuff they don't particularly love for a paycheck sometimes, right? Okay, and it just really proves those straight guys are amazing actors. Yeah. They're probably thinking about women while they kiss each other...

See? Those uncomfortable-with-gay-sexuality people can watch the two guy make-out session without getting too self-reflective or squirmy. It's just acting, after all.

And maybe when we flip it, that distance backfires. Watching a gay actor play straight, maybe uncomfortable-with-gay-sexuality people think, well, I know he really would be rather kissing a guy, so it's hard to buy that straight kiss.

Maybe uncomfortable-with-gay-sexuality people don't like the notion that closeted gay people fool straight people all the time, and that Ha-HA! If they know an actor is gay, they can't let go of that fact because it's such an issue for them personally, and that knowledge prevents them from actually seeing the performance for what it is.

Why don't we watch a gay male actor kissing a woman on screen and think - man, that's some mighty fine acting?

Because Jesse St. James had me fooled. And isn't that the point of acting? To take on the role of someone else and tell their story?

I hope every GLBTQ Actor comes out.

The more of them that do, the easier this whole thing will be for everyone.

As the Amazing Kristin Chenoweth said in her rebuttal to the newsweek article:

Lastly, as someone who’s been proudly advocating for equal rights and supporting GLBT causes for as long as I can remember, I know how much it means to young people struggling with their sexuality to see out & proud actors like Sean Hayes, Jonathan Groff, Neil Patrick Harris, and Cynthia Nixon succeeding in their work without having to keep their sexuality a secret.

And while I thought Jonathan Groff (Jesse) has a great voice, is a good actor, and is easy on the eyes, knowing he's gay makes me an even bigger fan of him... and of the show.

What do you think? Did you know Jesse St. James was being played by a gay actor? Does it matter to you?

Gleekily yours,

Lee

Why the Gay Teen on "Glee" drives me nuts... and makes me want to sing at the same time.

He has a crush on a straight guy.

He sighs over toile.

He gives the lady he wants to set his dad up with a makeover.

Argh!

But then there was the episode where he was the football star. Kicking in the winning field goal. (To Beyonce's "Single Ladies", blasting over the football stadium.)

And those scenes with his Dad, who's a bit lost about having a gay son - but bottom line, loves Kurt and accepts him. Those scenes make me so happy it almost hurts.


The character Kurt is this frustrating mix of stereotype and not-stereotype, and I guess it's really a reflection of how few gay teen characters there are on TV that I care so much about how this one is representing for us.

And that's really the crux of it, isn't it? If you had 20 gay teen characters on major network shows during a TV season, it wouldn't be a big deal if one was a bit swishy. It wouldn't feel like that one character had to represent for ALL gay people, right?

But Kurt Hummel seems to be the only out gay teen on my TV, and so I cringe at each new exclamation of "fabulous!"

And it's not that I don't love my effeminate gay brothers and butch sisters - but I'm sensitive about the stereotypes. And I'm uncomfortable that one of the few representations of gay teens on TV is feeding into that stereotype.

And yet, people are falling in love with Kurt. Moisturizer regimen and all.

And that's something remarkable.

And really, playing a complex, three-dimensional queer character - even if some of those dimensions are what middle America expects - is progress. Especially because some of the dimensions Chris (and the writers) add to it aren't cliche gay - they're just "Kurt." And those are my favorite moments.

And did I mention, the boy can sing?

Last week's Dionne Warwick hit "A House Is Not A Home" was Bee Gees-high, and well... beautiful.

I downloaded it, and I've been playing it. And guess what? I found myself singing along.

What do you think of the gay teen character (Kurt Hummel) on Glee?


There's this great interview with the openly gay actor Chris Colfer, who plays Kurt, here at Vanity Fair online. The best line is when he's asked about his upcoming gay love interest on the show, and he explains why he wants the guy to be less hot than him...


Namaste,
Lee

Welcome 2010 - A different kind of New Year's Resolution: What's Your INTENT?

Hi all and welcome to the New Year, New Decade, New sense of energy and excitement for all the cool stuff coming our way...

I had a great break and am returning renewed, rejuvenated, and charged up!



One of the amazing adventures I had during my two weeks of going unplugged was hiking down and then swimming up to Pe’epe’e Falls on the Big Island of Hawaii. (That's it in the photo.)

I was scared - mostly because it was something I'd never done before - but I was there with others, and a local guide, and I trusted my own abilities and theirs.

We hiked in and then carefully clambered down the rocks until I was only a few feet above the waterline. Someone else splashed in and started swimming across the pool of water.

I jumped. The water was cold. Shouting-out-loud cold. I plunged down, but kicking my legs hard I broke back up through the surface. And I yelled. I hooted. I laughed.

And then I swam. All the way to the falls.

The adventure was a great reminder to me that new stuff can be scary, but also exhilarating.

So, instead of coming up with a list of resolutions that I may or may not fulfill, this year I'm trying something new:

I'm defining my intent for the year.

Sort of like a mantra, or a catch-phrase - this intent is something I can come back to for the next 361 days, and feel grounded in.

My intent for 2010 is:

Break-Through.

Like sunrise, breaking through clouds and changing everything.

Like believing in my ability to break through my established patterns and do new things.

Like coming back up and breaking through the surface of the water and knowing that ANYTHING is possible.

2010 is my year to Break Through.


What's YOUR intent / catch phrase for the year? Share it with your GSA, or here in comments!

Giving Thanks

There's this old prayer in the Jewish tradition, called the She-he-chi-ah-nu.

It's about being grateful. Taking a moment to acknowledge where you are in your life. To recognize the blessings you have, and not take them for granted.

My Maternal Grandmother used to say it every time she ate the first plum of the season.



I mean, you can walk by a pile of rocks. Or you can see the art in it, like the artist who stacked these at the beach the morning before I went walking there. I had to stop and look at it. Rocks were everywhere on the ground, but these rocks had a purpose. They made me stop and pay attention to the beauty all around me.

This Thanksgiving, amid all the feasting, and the feelings of guilt about having, uh... stolen this country from the Native Americans, and the shopping frenzy Corporate America and our Government seem to be hoping we all go on starting Friday morning, take a moment.

Think about some of the things that make you happy in your life. The people who make your days brighter. The music that makes you want to get up and dance. The art - or artful pile of rocks - that you find where you least expect it. The plums that get baked into pie.

And add a sense of gratitude to the holiday. And then share that good, happy, grateful thought with someone else. Someone you care about.

And maybe gratitude can be the emotion that travels the world over the next few days.

It would make for a nice change of pace.

I'll get us started: I'm grateful for my husband and daughter. And as soon as I finish writing this, I'm going to go tell them.

And I'm also grateful to you - for being part of this enormous virtual community that cares about empowering Gay Teens (and everyone else, too!)

Now it's your turn. What are you grateful for? Share that part of you with people you care about.

Happy Holiday, and Namaste,
Lee

Progress And Pressure: The Mechanics Of Winning Gay Rights. Lessons From Scholastic, Maine, And President Obama.

Three recent events have really highlighted for me the mechanics behind how things change. In particular, how we achieve Gay Equality and Rights.

Scholastic's De-Gaying.

Maine's De-Marriaging.

And President Obama's D...well, "D" for Disappointing.

Scholastic's De-Gaying



Scholastic was caught asking "Luv Ya Bunches" author Lauren Myracle to change the two mom parents of a character in the book to a one-mom-one-dad family, in order to have her book included in their book fairs. When the author refused (Go, Lauren!) they told her they wouldn't carry her book in their fairs. When School Library Journal reported on this episode of censorship on October 21, 2009, there was a lot of pressure and complaint letters and a petition with over 4,000 signatures in just a few days... in short, a heap of bad publicity - and Scholastic responded.

Scholastic told the world they won't judge a book based on character's sexuality. But to this date they have not admitted that they were in error in requesting the de-gaying of the book. Nor have they apologized.

Scholastic also said that they would carry the book in their middle school book fairs.

In response to this, many progressive voices inside and outside of the gay community declared victory. However, no one (except School Library Journal, thank you!) seemed to notice that "Luv Ya Bunches" is a book about 5th grade girls, and it should be carried in the elementary school book fairs.

And yet, the letter writing stopped. The petition stopped collecting signatures. The "storm" of bad publicity passed...

and progress on achieving our Gay equality stopped.

Moving forward, I'm sure Scholastic will be more careful with what changes they request of authors in order to accept their books into their school book fairs.

But I wish Scholastic had gone the full distance on this. Publicly apologize to the author and to our community. And carry the book with lesbian moms for 9-13 year olds with all the other books for 9-13 year olds - in their Elementary School Book Fairs.

I think the reason they didn't go the full distance was that the pressure stopped. The fire seemed mostly out, and it seems they're just trying to move on and hope everyone forgets it happened.

The problem is, there's unfinished business. And Scholastic needs to find the courage (or feel the pressure) to finish it.


Maine's De-Marriaging.



On Tuesday, Maine voters decided that their legislature was wrong in passing a law that allowed Gay men and Lesbians to marry. 53% of Maine voters decided that Gay people should not be allowed the right to civil marriage. It's the 31st time a state has voted that. Millions of dollars are being spent, on both sides, in this continual assertion - state by state - that somehow, in this one instance, the majority should decide on the rights of a minority.

But without the grass roots pressure, without the millions of dollars to get our voices heard, and without the untold number of people standing up and talking about what it means to be denied your rights because of who you love, we would have lost it... even worse.

Every time, with Prop 8 in California, and with Tuesday's vote in Maine, we seem to be closer and closer to a majority who "approve" of our rights (I can't even begin to convey how much that very premise rankles...), and it's not because we're sitting back passively. It's because we're showing courage. Those of us who are in Gay and Lesbian relationships are standing up and demanding our rights - and our friends and families and fair-minded allies are often standing and marching and canvassing with us.

Without that effort... it's clear that we'd have even less rights than we do today.


President Obama is Disappointing.


Looking through my files I found this image from the day after Obama was elected President. I remember I felt so much hope...


From having President Obama choose anti-Gay Rick Warren to deliver the invocation at his inauguration to his allowing servicemember after servicemember to be discharged under Don't Ask Don't Tell when he has had the power to stop it from the minute he took the oath of office, our newest President has shown us that while he talks the talk (and the talk is amazing) when it comes to walking the walk, pressure (and political cover) seem necessary.

Happily, President Obama signed the Hate Crimes Law.

And yet, President Obama seems so interested in building consensus for everything he does that it seems to preclude him from acting without it. We see that plainly in the Health Care reform (I was going to write "process" but I'm going to try to be more accurate and call it a "mess.") Democrats are falling all over themselves to compromise away everything that would truly reform the system - like a single payer option - all to appease the Republican minority who won't vote for it anyway.

This systemic lack of LEADERSHIP by our President and by the Democrats who are - at least by the numbers - in charge of both the House and Senate, leaves the Gay community and our allies frustrated that our elected leaders are not standing up for us. That President Obama is not being PROACTIVE in making the changes he promised to make. Where's the courage of his convictions?

Defense Of Marriage Act? Still the law of the land. My legal California marriage isn't recognized by the federal government.

Don't Ask Don't Tell? Still the law of the land. It basically says that you can be gay and in the military, but you have to lie about it. But of course, no one wants someone who they have to trust with their life to lie to them. Honor and all that. So these soldiers are honest. And then they get fired. At the rate of Two PER DAY! President Obama has let hundreds of valiant Americans be FIRED for being honest about who they love. That's shameful, and so disappointing.

"Every civil rights battle in the past 60 years has been fueled by strong presidential leadership," said former U.S. Air Force Staff Sergeant David Hall, one of the Cook v. Gates plaintiffs seeking reinstatement. "And that same leadership is also needed now to allow gays and lesbians to serve openly. It's time the President begins fulfilling his campaign promise by publicly endorsing HR 1283 and working with Congress to find the votes."

The Employment Non Discrimination Act? Still NOT the law of the land. Yesterday they started discussing it (hearings, again) in Congress. Until it passes,

In 29 states, it's legal to fire someone because they're lesbian, gay, or bisexual; in 38 states, it's legal to fire someone for being transgender.

You can have marches on Washington, but marching on a non-business day where pretty much anyone can ignore the march if they want to doesn't really apply PRESSURE for change. And the latest gay rights march on Washington did not create change.

So where does Progress, especially in moving Gay rights forward, come from?

In the case of Scholastic, it was Pressure from bad publicity (and being shamed.)

In the case of Maine, even though we lost, we were close because of Courage. People coming out - not being ashamed - and sharing their stories... but maybe not enough of us.

In the case of President Obama, it seems he'll act when there's a consensus-delivered bill on his desk... but how can we get him to be the "fierce advocate" for Gay rights he promised us he'd be?

In case after case, it all seems to boil down to this. If we want people, or companies, or governments to change, we need them to either:

Find the courage. Or feel the Pressure.

I don't have all the answers.

But I think the questions are good ones to examine.

How do we encourage courage?
What forms of pressure actually result in progress?
Where's the line between pressure that works and pressure that alienates?

It's a discussion we really need to have, as individuals, and as a community.

What do you think?

Namaste,
Lee

A Gay Science Fiction & Fantasy Magazine... "Crossed Genres: Issue 12"

Here's the amazing cover art image for the magazine
by Julie Dillon!

This just-released issue #12 of "Crossed Genres" has ten short Sci Fi and Fantasy stories, each featuring GLBTQ characters and themes. The issue also includes two articles, one of them by ME!

"Why Gay Sci Fi and Fantasy Is Important" by Lee Wind

So go on, click on by. And check it out.

Happy reading!

Namaste,
Lee

Don't Judge A Book By It's Cover - Because That's Where You'll Find Out Who Wrote It - And Who They're Sleeping With! The Lammies, The Cybils, & Me

Awards, Awards, Awards.

So, why all the hoopla and controversy about awards?

Well, think about it - there are SO many books published every year (172,000 - just in the U.S.A. last year) that getting noticed - and read - is a challenge. Less than 25,000 of those books sell more than 5,000 copies. (Stats from here.)

So Awards, and reviews in the major journals/newspapers/blogs become really important.

Hence, the rise of the Cybils, a book blogger literary award for Children's and Young Adult books. And I'm really excited to be part of this third year of the Cybils Awards as an Judge!

But there are other awards that have a long history, and recently the Lamdba Literary Awards changed the way theirs works.

See, The Lamdba Literary Awards (the Lammies) used to be for BOOKS that were GLBTQ in content.

Now, they're saying that the AUTHORS have to self-identify as part of the Gay Community for their GLBTQ books to qualify.

That's a HUGE change - and one that would eliminate a lot of wonderful books that might otherwise not find their audiences.

I'm thinking of Ellen Wittlinger, author of one of the few transgender teen novels, "Parrotfish," (a finalist for the 2008 Lambda Literary Awards) and also of "Love and Lies: Marisol's Story" (a finalist for the 2009 Lambda Literary Awards) and "Hard Love" (Which WON the Lambda Literary Award in 2000.)

Ellen is a straight woman, but she is an Ally and Advocate who has done SO much for our community. She writes brave books about Gay characters, she does her homework and her books make an impact - for the good - on Gay Teens.

To tell her, and authors like her, that she can't be considered for any future awards because she herself isn't a lesbian, or bi, or transgender, or questioning - to tell her that her books can no longer qualify because she fell in love with a man (gasp!) is so contrary to what we should be doing as a community.

Instead of encouraging our ALLIES and everyone else to celebrate our lives and yes, create stories that celebrate and incorporate being Gay, Lambda's shift feels like a slap in the face to those same people who are trying to move the world - our world - in a better direction.

Now, I'm a gay man. And I do love the idea of an organization saying "Hey, we're here to help GAY authors get noticed." I think that's awesome. I could use getting noticed. And there are certainly publishing contests for minority authors (Like The Lee and Low "New Voices Award" Contest), and while I might be wistful about not being able to submit to those contests, I appreciate that they're trying to do a bit of affirmative action, to give underrepresented writers from their communities a shot.

But to take an established awards program (this year was the 21st annual event) and switch its focus to be not about the books' orientation but about the authors' orientation, too, feels like the wrong way to go about it.

I would have suggested Lambda create a new category of awards, something like "Best Debut Gay Author" and "Best Debut Lesbian Author," etc... That would shout-out and create a new buzz for authors who are GLBTQ, without shutting out Allied authors from the overall awards.

And as I'm now going to be a JUDGE for the Cybils, I've been thinking about this a lot. I have friends who have had their YA books released in the time period that qualifies them. And I'm going to have to be very careful to be as author-blind as I can be - to really judge the books on the books themselves, and not let any information about WHO the author is influence my "reading" of those books, as best as I can.

A sculpture of Lady Justice from 1543,
on display in Berne, Switzerland.

I think this is why Lady Justice is blindfolded - we all joke that she's blind and it means she (Justice) has no compassion - but I think the original intent may have been that when you judge something, you weigh it with a sense of impartiality.

And I think that books should be judged that way, too.

So, I would hope that the Lambda Literary Foundation re-considers what qualifies a book to be considered for their awards. I think it should be the BOOK itself - rather than who the author falls in love with.

I hope as well that Lambda creates a new awards category to recognize budding GLBTQ authors - I think that would be great.

And I also hope that as a judge for the Cybils, I and my fellow judges will be able to put aside the information of who wrote what, and simply read and judge each book on its own merits.

Because there are so many books out there - and some really deserve to be noticed!

I'm curious. What do YOU think about the Change in Lambda's rules?

Namaste,
Lee



You can read more about the Lambda Literary Foundation's guidelines change here.