National Coming Out Day + LGBTQ History Month = Let's Discover the Men Who Loved Men, Women Who Loved Women, and People Who Lived Outside Gender Boundaries in History

Because if we (and especially today's teens) know our LGBTQ past, we can be assured Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, Questioning, and Queer people have a place in the present. And if we know we have a place in the present, we can dream of our futures...

So let's discover the real history of Eleanor Roosevelt loving Lorena Hickok.

The real history of William Shakespeare writing 126 love sonnets to another man.

The real history of the Pharaoh Hatshepsut changing how they portrayed their gender over 22 years of rule, from being seen as completely feminine, to an in-between gender, to being portrayed as completely masculine.

And let's be real about the history of Abraham Lincoln loving Joshua Fry Speed. (Want to know more about that one? Check out my YA novel inspired by that true history, here.)

Here are this year's LGBT History Month icons:

And be sure to check out the more than 370 LGBT Icons from the Equality Forum's LGBT History Month celebrations of the past 10+ years here.

And let's celebrate who we've been, who we are, and who we can be!

The light in me recognizes and acknowledges the light in you,
Lee

National Coming Out Day is this Friday, October 11! What are you (and your GSA) Doing To Celebrate?

National Coming Out Day is, at heart, a celebration of being authentically YOU, whoever you are.

And while being our authentic selves should be something we feel we can do every day, not everyone feels safe enough to be honest about who they are. Yet.

So let's consider what each of us can do to make our circles - our friends, the other people in our schools and neighborhoods and lives - know that we are safe people.

Let's stand up as allies - for ourselves and for everyone different from us, too!

As the Human Rights Campaign puts it at the top of their Coming Out Resources webpage,

Whether you're lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or an ally, be proud of who you are and your support for LGBT equality this Coming Out Day!

And I'd add to that - "and every day!"

So this week, as an individual or with your GSA, take some action to let others know you're an LGBTQ ally.

And if you are part of the LGBTQ rainbow, if you do feel safe, be OUT and AUTHENTIC about who you are. It will transform your life for the better, and it will transform our world as well.

As Harvey Milk said so eloquently,




With Pride,
Lee

Coming Out LIVE and 50 Brave Blog Posts About Coming Out - For National Coming Out Day!

 This video of Daniel coming out  to his mother - filmed live - is amazing -



And this list of 50 blog posts about coming out is a very cool resource.

It includes gems like this:

About coming out later in life

and

Ryan's transgender coming out

and even this poem I posted a while back by a gay teen, Ethan.


Go check out the wealth of coming out stories...

and be inspired!

Namaste with Pride,
Lee

My thanks to author Hayden Thorne for the coming out live link!

National Coming Out Day 2011 - Standing Up For What We Know Is Right: A Guest Post By Martha Brockenbrough

In honor of National Coming Out Day this year, I want to focus on how important it is for our GLBTQ Allies to stand up, speak out and come out in support of what we know is the right thing to do. Sometimes that can be really challenging, especially in a culture steeped too long in homophobia and gender stereotypes. But when people do stand up, it is a joyous and remarkable thing.  The kind of thing that gives me hope, and powerfully changes our world for the better.

Below is a guest post by my friend, author and fellow SCBWI Team Blogger Martha Brockenbrough.

Her story inspired me... and I know it will inspire you, too.

Qui tacit consentit. Through silence, consent. I first encountered this expression in college and it struck a deep chord with me. It summarized that feeling I had in high school when the cool boys in the cafeteria were ragging on one of my friends for being gay. It also echoed what I’d learned much earlier, when reading “The Diary of Anne Frank.”

It resonates with all of us on some level. Why else would an expression in a dead language live on?

In the twenty years since I first met the words, I’ve tried to live by them. It’s sometimes harder than others. On Facebook when I post things in support of my gay, lesbian, transgendered and otherwise “other” friends, my own friend count goes down. Good riddance, I think. They were never my friends to begin with.

It’s a bit harder in real life. Do you speak your views at work? What about at your kids’ school, where they might suffer the consequences? My livelihood depends on my having readers. My kids’ success in life depends on their doing well in school.

And yet, the truth remains: through silence, consent.

So I start conversations, sometimes in person, and sometimes via emails like this one, which I wrote after watching a play put on by the kids in my daughter’s fourth-grade class:

That was so much fun and such a great way to celebrate what the kids have been studying. I was amazed at the risks the kids took on stage. They were so gutsy and it really worked.

There is one thing, though, that I've been continuing to think about all weekend, and that was [a particular student’s] tall tale. It was cute and clever, but the bulk of the humor relied on certain gender stereotypes. Boys aren't supposed to like dolls and flowers. It made me think of a boy in one of the lower grades who really loves playing with dolls and traditionally girl things, and how he has sometimes suffered as a result. Putting that on stage, in a way, legitimizes mocking kids who don't fit gender and possibly sexual identity norms. The resolution defied that somewhat, though it was more his size and less about his interests that drove the conclusion.

I'm sure this wasn't intentional on [the student’s] part. She defies a lot of stereotypes herself, and regularly has to defend her interest in cross-gender friendships. I think it's more a symptom that the kids know what's funny--and to a certain extent at this age, funny = making fun of differences.

I wouldn't have changed a thing about the roundup. It was truly brilliant.

But it might indicate the kids are ready to examine certain types of humor. What makes something "funny" can often be quite hurtful when stereotypes are at the heart of things. It's nothing new. Aeschylus made fun of the disabled in his plays--that was standard. There are alternative forms of humor, though. The kids might enjoy learning about them, and it might save some truly vulnerable children a bit of pain.

I sent the email to both fourth grade teachers and waited in vain for a response. They didn’t acknowledge the email. They did not speak to me about it on the class overnight the next week. They haven’t spoken to me about it in the times we’ve run into each other at the store or at community events. It’s as if I’d never spoken up, as if what I have to say doesn’t matter.

This is, I know, a taste of what it’s like to belong to a minority group. There’s a certain kind of unpleasant invisibility—the feeling that the contents of your heart aren’t important enough to be acknowledged. There’s a definite message that you should be silent. Go along or shut up.

It was a disappointing experience, to say the least, and one that made me that much more sympathetic to the people who are always being asked to keep themselves and their lives hidden away.

I don’t belong to any particular minority group myself. I’m a middle-aged, middle-class mom with two kids and two dogs. I’m a Y-chromosome away from being The Man, actually. This makes it all the more important that the likes of us speak up. The more we do, the harder it will be for people to keep silencing and marginalizing people who aren’t in the majority. I can’t control whether anyone listens to what I say, but I surely don’t have to consent to the mistreatment of my fellow human beings.

Ultimately, we took both of our children out of that school, not because there was anything wrong with the classroom education they were receiving, but rather, because the culture permitted rampant unkindness, including the mocking of people based on their differences.

It wasn’t the school’s official position, of course. But it was the one people slouched toward, because it takes more time and energy to stick to standards than it does to shrug off or ignore bad behavior. It's uncomfortable, and people would rather avoid their own discomfort than acknowledge the far deeper pain of others.

Our departure won’t change the school in any way, I’m sure. But that’s beyond my control. It always was. The more important thing was that I didn’t let the school change me. I did not consent to anything I knew to be wrong. In the process, I’ve shown my kids there are always other choices than to consent—and that the world, instead of getting smaller for what you’ve left behind—expands accordingly.

What an amazing woman - I'm really proud to know her. Thank you Martha!

And f you're considering coming out, the Human Rights Campaign has a lot of online resources to help. (And yes, they even have a guide for straight supporters!)

Happy National Coming Out Day!
Namaste,
Lee

Today (Oct 11, 2010) is National Coming Out Day!

And because of that, today demanded 2 posts!

I'm Gay. And Out. And Proud!

Now I know not everyone who is Gay or Lesbian or Bisexual or Transgender or Questioning can stand up Today and say that.

But I hope we can all stand up and say that we're working towards that day, when GLBTQ people have full equality, and the homophobia we still see in our society* is an odd cultural relic, like looking back on laws that prevented couples like Heidi Klum and Seal from getting married.

*I was struck by yesterday's speech by Carl Paladino, Republican candidate for Governor of New York, who said:

"I just think my children and your children would be better off and much more successful getting married and raising a family. And I don't want them to be brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid or successful option. It isn't."

What I find astonishing is Mr. Paladino's complete lack of understanding of the dynamics of not just being queer, but of being human. There is no CHOICE in whom you're attracted to. That's hard-wired. Everyone above the age of puberty should know that - you're attracted to whom you're attracted to. And you can suppress it. You can lie about it. You can try to ignore it. But that's how you are built.

There IS a choice in whether or not you're going to be honest about who you're attracted to. Whether you're going to live your life honestly, openly. Whether you're going to be open to experiencing true love and passion. Whether you're going to allow yourself to become the best and most authentic YOU you can be.

So it's not about "brainwashing" kids to let them think that homosexuality is an equally valid or successful option. It's about letting kids know that honestly being themselves, if they are Gay, or Lesbian, or Bisexual, or Transgender, or Questioning, is an equally valid and successful option to everyone else who is honest about who they are.

Hiding who you are if you're Gay? That's an option that is NOT equally valid and successful.

Being yourself and being openly GLBTQ? That IS an equally valid and successful option. Because the option isn't to become straight. The option is to lie about who you are.

So everyone's children (including, as the New York Times reported, Mr. Paladino's gay staffer) might indeed be "better off and much more successful getting married and raising a family" - especially if they're able to safely come out as Gay and the laws of this country allowed them to marry the man or woman they fall in love with! (Though really, not everyone needs to get married and have kids to be successful!)

And you know what? I don't want my kid brainwashed any longer by our culture into thinking that homosexuality is NOT an equally valid or successful option. It absolutely is!

Here's more info from the Human Rights Campaign on National Coming Out Day - with resources and events.

Another way to celebrate is to check out my "Coming Out?" Links on the right column of this blog. There's some great stuff there, a few awesome youtube videos (Dan Savage and his husband Terry telling GLBTQ kids and teens "It Gets Better!" and Dustin Lance Black accepting his Oscar for "Milk" and sharing a message for Gay kids today), and a link to my first essay on National Coming Out Day at this blog - which still resonates for me.

So no matter who you love, remember to love yourself first - and celebrate National Coming Out Day!

Namaste,
Lee

YOU, Your GSA, and National Coming Out Day: Sunday October 11, 2009! An opportunity for EVERYONE to come out as ALLIES!

Coming out - declaring to yourself, your parents, your friends, your school, and/or the world that you're Gay, or Lesbian, or Bisexual, or Transgender, or Questioning, is a BIG deal.

And there are lots of great resources* to help those working through that process come out - and as I said here, it is a process.

But a Gay-Straight Alliance Club holds (among many others) a unique position in a school setting - and that's as a resource to help EVERYONE ELSE come out as an ALLY.

ALLIES are where the real leverage for change comes from. It's always when people are brave enough to speak up against injustice when it's not solely THEIR rights at risk that tectonic shifts in the culture happen. Sure, the affected minority has to stand up. But ALLIES standing with them change the numbers. Suddenly, the minority who are being disenfranchised have more weight. More power. More respect.

Allies give us traction on the road to equality.

So, let's use our GSA meetings this week to put out a call for Allies. Ask people to stand up and say they believe in equal rights and safe schools for GLBTQ people.

Maybe plan some event, or create some petition, where Allies - students, teachers, librarians, faculty, parents, EVERYONE - can stand up and say,

"YES! I believe in equal rights for Gay people."

And hey, if you're ready to come out, and you're Gay (GLBTQ), know that you're not alone. You've got a whole vast community cheering you on.

And look - you have all those Allies, too!

Namaste,
Lee

*Look through the "Coming Out? Check Out" section in the right hand column of this blog for some wonderful resources, essays, and inspiration!