Donating Gay (&LBTQ) books to a Junior High School Library? How to Honor the Memory of Larry (Lawrence) King. A Negotiated Solution...

I Can't Even GIVE Them Away...

Or Can I?

Okay, this is a follow up to the post back in February on what we can do in reaction to the killing of 15 year old Lawrence (Larry) King, a gay student who was murdered in his Junior High school class by a 14 year old fellow student after Larry shared that he had a crush on that boy.


The background
So I decided that the most positive thing I could do was to help the kids in that school understand that GLBTQ Teens are just like every other Teenager - with hopes, fears, insecurities, and dreams.

If someone tells you they have a crush on you, it's a compliment. Even if you're not interested, you should realize the intent was not to shame you. And really, how horribly are we failing as a culture if for that 14 year old boy, being perceived by others as being gay (I suppose the worst outcome of his being approached by a gay guy) would be so terrible and life-changing that he'd rather KILL someone than be embarrassed?

He'd rather KILL someone than be embarrassed. Wow. That speaks volumes about the environment kids are growing up in, doesn't it?


I believe one of the best ways to achieve a culture of understanding, acceptance and kindness is to have ALL Teens read some of the amazing books featured on this site.

So, on my own dime, I purchased 15 great books to donate to the E.O. Green Junior High School Library.

The Offer
The very earnest Librarian at the school explained that she wasn't authorized to accept the donation, and that I had to go through the district office.

Once I found the right person, I left messages every week, and after a month of that I got a call back from the woman in charge of curriculum (and the decision-maker.)

This school official was very nice, and she also seemed to appreciate what I was trying to do.

However, she felt that they could NOT accept the donation of the books due to their concern about offending parents of students.

Evidently, parent protests (even a single parent) about all sorts of things (having textbooks that expose their kids to different religions than theirs, for example) are something the school district seems to want to avoid at all costs if they can - and they will only risk possibly offending someone IF the subject matter is part of the official curriculum. (They seem to feel that's their only argument that trumps parents' desires.) Since including gay and lesbian teen representations in fiction isn't part of the official State curriculum, the school district doesn't see any way they could justify including these books in the Junior High Library IF any parents objected (and they seemed sure that some would.)

She DID offer to make a copy of the bibliography (a brief listing of the 15 books) available in the library.

No, there were no similar bibliographies available for the students on any other subjects.

The Negotiated Solution.

I asked, what if I donated the books to the local branch of the PUBLIC library, could the bibliography in the school library mention the books were there?

Yes. The school district official agreed it could. She even offered that the bibliography could be available in the other school libraries in their district.

So I called up the South Oxnard Branch Library (which is only a couple of blocks from E.O. Green Junior High) and spoke with the amazing YA librarian there.

She was delighted to have the books donated to her collection.

So I contacted the librarian at the junior high school again. She loved the solution, but asked that the bibliography be not quite so up-front with the use of "those words."

Perhaps I could call it books for teens with "alternative lifestyles," she suggested. Her concern was that having it say GAY or LESBIAN or QUEER (words she couldn't even say OUT LOUD when talking to me on the phone) would be an instant turn-off for junior high school students.
Perhaps they'd be afraid of anyone seeing them looking at the list, and I wonder as well if she saw it as a possible source of unwanted controversy in her library, even having a piece of paper with those words on it.

So, another compromise. Another negotiated solution. This one was painful to make.

I came up with a different title for the list:

Young Adult Books Exploring Different Identities

Oh, I hate that.


But I wanted to at least use "identities" to show that it's not this superficial, "Oh, I think I'll have a PEACH yogurt today, and hey, maybe tomorrow, I'll have a STRAWBERRY yogurt." That's what "alternative lifestyle" says to me. That it's "hey, I think I'll try to be GAY today. And then maybe tomorrow I'll try being STRAIGHT." Being GLBTQ - especially when you are in the QUESTIONING part of our community, is ALL ABOUT IDENTITY.

The choice is whether to be honest about how you feel inside.

But how you feel inside is your Identity.

But I still feel awful about the "sanitized for your protection" version of the bibliography.

Compromise. Compromise.

I keep telling myself the important thing is to get these kids ACCESS to these books.

But does a bibliography list that doesn't even have the words

GAY
LESBIAN
BISEXUAL
TRANSGENDER
QUESTIONING
QUEER
TEEN NOVELS

in the title, when it is about just that - Holy CRAP! Am I modeling SHAME???

Am I teaching them to hide who they truly are?????


ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!


I've gone back and forth on this. What to do? Would it be better to stick to my lexiconic guns and insist on the original version of the bibliography

A Brief Bibliography of Young Adult Books
with Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning
Teen Characters and Themes.

But then what if the bibliography wasn't USED at all in the school library? What if it simply wasn't made available because it was too uncomfortable for the adults in charge? What if it WAS made available, and the kids couldn't handle it and it just ended up getting trashed, and no one felt brave enough to hold the "scarlet list?"

I decided to send the "santized for your protection" version to her.

Ugh. But I'm trying to do a good thing, here. I keep telling myself that.


So yesterday, after having worked on this for 3 MONTHS, I mailed this mini-collection of GLBTQ YA books to the South Oxnard Branch Library:



They should get them next week.

I've arranged with the YA librarian at the public library to have a donation card in each book that will read:

This book has been donated in Memory of Lawrence (Larry) King,
in the hope of fostering a world
of greater understanding, acceptance, and kindness.

For more great GLBTQ Teen Reads, check out
“I’m Here. I’m Queer. What the Hell do I Read?”
at www.leewind.org

And I received an e-mail yesterday as well from the junior high school librarian saying that

I will have copies of the bibliography you sent for the students that request the books. I will let them know they can check them out at the public library.

And I guess that is the best that can be done, for now.


I hope the bibliography IS available for kids in that school. I hope it's useful. I hope the books are checked out from the public library, and that they help, a little bit, to make a difference.

That the books let some kid, like Larry, know that they are not alone, and that their journey is unique to them, but also that it will take them into a whole community of similar adventurers.

And that the books let some other kid, some other potential straight kid who is approached by a gay kid and told they have a crush on him - that that kid could think back to the funny book they read that had that gay superhero in it, and realize that Gay kids are pretty much like him.

And just like he'd say if a girl he wasn't interested in approached him to tell him she liked him, he'd simply say. "Hey, thanks, but Nahhh. I don't feel that way for you, bro." And while the gay kid might be disappointed, and maybe a little embarrassed for putting himself out there, he'd be alive.

So I donated these wonderful books.

In memory of Larry, and all the others who have paid for our culture's fear and intolerance of difference with their lives.

Let's make things better.

Let's start reading!


Namaste,

Lee

ps- What do you think? Did I do the right thing with the bibliography?