Dan Savage Debates Brian Brown On Gay Marriage

For an up-to-the-moment view of the current Gay Marriage debate, check out this hour long video of Dan Savage debating the National Organization For Marriage's Brian Brown, in Dan's home on August 15, 2012.





There's an overview article here at advocate.com, and an after-the-debate commentary by the moderator, Mark Oppenheimer, here in the New York Times.

I think Dan represented the pro-gay marriage side very well.

It was interesting that Dan's idea of inviting Brian into his home to have dinner with Dan's husband and teenage son before the debate didn't have the impact Dan had hoped... rather than impress upon Brian the day-to-day reality of our gay families, Dan felt it hampered him by imposing a "host" mentality, making him more conciliatory than he intended.

I wish Mark or Dan had asked Brian if he believed there is a civil realm of marriage, separate from the religious.  With Brian repeatedly falling back on "natural law" and marriage being the bringing together of the "two sides of humanity," he was arguing a religious point of view when the debate is over civil marriage rights.

And that idea that gender is so binary is really due for re-thinking!

Brian's scoffing that marriage focused on adult wants (rather than the needs of children) would lead to the destruction of marriage altogether (gay marriage would then lead to polygamy - marrying more than one person) ignored the reality of the family whose home he was in - two married men, raising a child.  A family much like mine.

It was also fascinating to read in the New York Times article that Brian's wife didn't join him on the trip, though she was invited - she was home, pregnant with their eighth child.

At the end of the debate, Mark asked both Brian and Dan if anything could ever shake their view on Gay Marriage. 

I'll let you listen to their answers, but if found myself wondering...

If, statistics being what they are, one of Brian's children grows up and realizes they are gay, and comes out, and finds love... will Brian attend that child's wedding?  Will it change his religiously-based view of marriage when keeping gay people out of his 'marriage country club' affects someone he loves?

Because right now that's what it feels like.  Marriage is a country club that Brian and his fellow country club members would like to keep just for people like them.  And if they let us in, they're sure it will destroy marriage - destroy the club - completely.

And then they complain of being called bigots, when all they want to do is keep the club pristine and unsullied by the likes of us.

There's one word for that desire:  Prejudice.

Watch it, and let me know your take on the debate...

From The Dress Up Corner To The Senior Prom: Navigating Gender and Sexuality Diversity in Pre-K - 12 Schools

Psychologist and educational consultant Jennifer Bryan, Ph.D. tells us about her book...

• Kindergarteners wonder how come the classmate with two moms doesn't have a dad and so they ask their teacher for an explanation.
• Second graders struggle with gender role expectations and begin to learn the "rules" about what is okay for boys and what is okay for girls. Whose "rules" should they follow anyway?
• Fourth graders use "That's so gay" to label anything they think is weird or dumb. Or they use "gay" as a personal put-down, a slur, a taunt.
• Sixth graders step toward adolescence carrying conflicting messages and inaccurate information about sexuality. What should they believe?
• An increasing number of middle school students express a range of Sexual Identities - straight, gay, bisexual, queer - and are looking for guidance and acceptance from their families and school community.
• The small percentage of elementary, middle and high school students who are Gender Variant and/or Transgender are at particular risk in terms of safety, understanding and acceptance in school by both peers and adults
• ALL pre-adolescent and adolescent students need comprehensive sexuality education in order to make healthy, responsible choices and to learn about people different from themselves.

As a culture, we are in the midst of a profound social, legal, political and religious transformation with regard to Gender and Sexuality. Yet it is in Education, in our Pre K- 12 schools, that questions about and reactions to these aspects of Human Identity are manifest on a daily basis in the classroom, in the hallways, or on the playground.

Jennifer sets out in her book to address these and more...check out her website for additional information.

The FitzOsbornes in Exile. Book Two of The Montmaray Journals - Historical Teen Fiction with Gay and Bisexual characters!

The FitzOsbornes in Exile, book two of The Montmaray Journals by Michelle Cooper

Sophia FitzOsborne and the royal family of Montmaray escaped their remote island home when the Germans attacked, and now find themselves in the lap of luxury. Sophie's journal fills us in on the social whirl of London's 1937 season, but even a princess in lovely new gowns finds it hard to fit in. Is there no other debutante who reads?!

And while the balls and house parties go on, newspaper headlines scream of war in Spain and threats from Germany. No one wants a second world war. Especially not the Montmaravians—with all Europe under attack, who will care about the fate of their tiny island kingdom?

Will the FitzOsbornes ever be able to go home again? Could Montmaray be lost forever?

There are gay and bisexual characters in this - but you'll have to read it to find out who!

And here's the synopsis of the first book in the series, A Brief History of Montmaray

Sophie Fitzosborne lives in a crumbling castle in the tiny island kingdom of Montmaray with her eccentric and impoverished royal family. When she receives a journal for her sixteenth birthday, Sophie decides to chronicle day-to-day life on the island. But this is 1936, and the news that trickles in from the mainland reveals a world on the brink of war. The politics of Europe seem far away from their remote islanduntil two German officers land a boat on Montmaray. And then suddenly politics become very personal indeed.

Add your review of or book one,"A Brief History of Montmaray" and/or book two, "The FitzOsbornes in Exile," in comments!

Soames on the Range - A Teen With A Gay Dad Is Shipped Off To British Columbia To Stay Out Of Trouble

Soames on the Range by Nancy Belgue

All his life, fifteen-year-old San Francisco Soames has been told he is just like his father. But when his father announces that he's moving in with another man, Cisco starts questioning the resemblance. To top it off, he's suspended from school for fighting - even though all he did was provide his face as the punching bag for the school bully - and then he's accused of putting an old man in a coma.

Things go from bad to worse when his parents want to send him from their small town in Vermont to British Columbia to keep him out of trouble.

Trouble is the last thing Cisco wants. All he wants is to be left alone so he can figure out just how things have gone so wrong. And British Columbia! That's two thousand miles away - who is going to keep an eye on his ten-year-old twin sisters while he's gone? Plus he'll be staying with his uncle, someone he's never even seen before, someone who runs a Rocky Mountain Dude ranch, someone who is known in the family as "Uncle Party."

Things couldn't get any worse, could they?

Add your review of "Soames on the Range" in comments!

Phyllis Lyon Tells About Falling in Love With Another Woman in 1953 and The Founding of The Daughters of Bilitis

Part of the incredible Unheard Voices project,

Check out this two minute MP3 interview with Phyllis Lyon,

and the accompanying Teacher Guide (with an introduction to the audio interview, discussion questions, suggested activities and assignments and student handout.)

In 2008, Phyllis and her partner, Del Martin, became the first gay couple to get married in California after the state’s Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage. They had been together for more than 50 years. Phyllis recalls, “We got together in 1953 on Valentine’s day. It was Del’s idea. ‘We’ll never forget our anniversary,’ she said. And we never did.”

With California's passage of the FAIR Education Act, GLSEN's Unheard Voices is an important resource for middle and high schools to tell (and discuss and learn about) our untold LGBTQ history.

Unheard Voices is a joint project of GLSEN, The Anti-Defamation League, and StoryCorps.

The Pop Up Museum of Queer History

This is so cool (wishing I was in New York City to see it!)




Yo, East Coasters - check this out!

And for everyone, you can find out more about the Pop Up Museum of Queer History here.

Lee

Transitions of the Heart: Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children

Transitions of the Heart: Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children, Edited by Rachel Pepper

Transitions of the Heart is the first collection to invite mothers of transgender and gender variant children to tell their own stories. Often "transitioning" socially and emotionally alongside their children, parents have their own parallel process to work through, and few resources to depend on. Editor Rachel Pepper has gathered voices of women from all walks of life, with children ranging in age from six to sixty, to share their experiences. These mothers have learned how to advocate for their children and themselves. By speaking out here, they are blazing a brave trail for others to follow.

Check out this very powerful excerpt at advocate.com, in which Tracie Stratton, a mother whose fourth child is transgender, talks about her and her child's journeys.

It includes these quotes 

One of Izzy’s first sentences, even before she was two, was, “Me a boy, Mama.”

"And I did have moments of really missing my daughter Isabelle, who in reality was never there. I always had the same child. Where was my mind? How could I miss a little girl who was never a little girl?"

"I think parents of trans kids are the best parents ever. They unconditionally love their children, even when they don’t completely understand what their child is going through. So, my advice to other parents is really just to love their child, no matter what, and to stay strong. This is not about you or your religion and beliefs; it’s about your child. And get a great therapist, and an even better lawyer. Never let anyone question you. If your child is happy and a nice person, then you are doing the right thing."

Have you read it?  Add your review in comments!

And thanks to my husband for letting me know about this book!

The Legend of Beka Cooper Series: Terrier, Bloodhound and Mastiff - Fantasy with a Trans Character

Terrier, Bloodhound and Mastiff by Tamora Pierce

Terrier

Beka Cooper is a rookie with the law-enforcing Provost's Guard, and she's been assigned to the Lower City. It's a tough beat that's about to get tougher, as Beka's limited ability to communicate with the dead clues her in to an underworld conspiracy. Someone close to Beka is using dark magic to profit from the Lower City's criminal enterprises — and the result is a crime wave the likes of which the Provost's Guard has never seen before.

Bloodhound

Beka Cooper, the heroine of Terrier, is no longer a Puppy.

She's a Dog now—a full-fledged member of the Provost's Guard, dedicated to keeping peace in Tortall. But there's unrest throughout land. Counterfeit coins are turning up in shops all over the capital city of Corus, and the nation's economy is on the brink of collapse.

The Dogs discover that the counterfeit money seems to originate in Port Caynn. So Beka heads upriver to investigate, traveling with her mentor, Goodwin; Achoo, a hound whose nose is as sharp as her claws; and the pigeon Slapper, who carries the voices of the dead.

In Port Caynn, Beka delves deep into the gambling world, where she meets a charming banking clerk named Dale Rowan. Beka thinks she may be falling for Rowan, but she won't let anything—or anyone—jeopardize her mission. From the Silversmith's Guild to the Provost's House to the city sewers, it won't be enough for Beka to be her usual Terrier self. She'll have to learn from Achoo how to sniff out the criminals—to be a Bloodhound. . . .

Mastiff

Beka, our smart and savvy heroine, continues to make a name for herself on the mean streets of Tortall's Lower City...


Here's how blog reader Amanda describes what's queer about it:  

The trans character [introduced in book #2, Bloodhound] explains himself by saying that the Trickster god sometimes messes with people by placing them in the wrong body. He says that he is lucky to have realized this and have a happy life, as opposed to all the people that don't realize this about themselves and are miserable. He's also in a relationship with a man (as a man), which is addressed really well several times.

Add your review of the Legend of Beka Cooper series (any or all of the three titles) in comments!

Queer Greer - a Bisexual coming of age novel

Queer Greer by A.J. Walkley

High school junior Greer MacManus is uprooted from her childhood home in South Carolina when her father is determined to fulfill his strange but pressing dream to become a border-crossing coyote. Her parents take her and her younger sister to Prescott, Arizona, to start a new life closer to the border.

Greer enters a new school with the hopes of reinventing herself from a wallflower with one friend, to become more of a socialbutterfly. She soon finds herself among the company of athletes, a swimmer herself. While she tries to get comfortable in her clique under the admiring eye of Cameron Keeting, the most attractive jock in school, Greer becomes increasingly interested in someone else.

Rebecca Wilder, the beautiful swim team captain and infamous lesbian in town, befriends Greer, taking her under her wing. A love triangle soon overtakes Greer's world, leading to drug experimentation over the course of the year as she comes to grips with her sexuality.

Shocked by the reactions of her best friend and boyfriend, and finding herself more alone than ever before, Greer turns to self-mutilation in order to cope when things start to fall apart. Without anyone to turn to, Greer must find an inner strength and the courage to be herself in a society that doesn't always understand.

"Queer Greer" was self-published by the author.  Add your review of the novel in comments!

Lancelot and the Wolf - Historical Fantasy Where Lancelot and King Arthur are in Love!

Lancelot and the Wolf by Sarah Luddington

This first book in her "The Knights of Camelot" series is a new spin on an old story, this time from Lancelot's perspective...

He begins the story a broken man, banished and punished for betraying his King, but he must return because Arthur’s life is threatened by dark forces. When he does gain the King’s ear once more, it is clear things between the men are no longer the same. The brutality of their separation finally forces them to confront their love. Lancelot discovers that despite there being many, many women in his life, his future happiness lies in the arms of a man.

While Arthur and Lancelot face terrible enemies, who drive them and their friends to the brink of madness and death, they also have to wrestle with their growing passion.

That's the author speaking about her book, in an interview here.

Sarah's gotten a lot of flak for daring to write a queer Lancelot, and she responded brilliantly.

"People seemed outraged that I could suggest that King Arthur and Lancelot were in a gay relationship," Luddington said in a press release on Monday. "Yet when one looks more deeply into the original legends the undercurrent is clearly there. There had to be more to that love triangle than the simple infidelity of Guinevere."

Sarah has also released a special edition of her novel and will donate the royalties to Stonewall, a gay charity in the U.K.

Please note that this book is self-published by the author via Mirador publishing and was not put out as a teen title. Add your review of "Lancelot and the Wolf" in comments.

Sappho - A Poem That Rocks Me

An image of Sappho discovered in Pompeii

Without warning

As a whirlwind

swoops on an oak

Love shakes my heart

(LP 47, Barnard 44, as on page 227 of "Myths and Mysteries of Same-Sex Love" by Christine Downing, Continuum, New York, 2996.)

The Way He Lived - Six Teens Tell The Story of Their Gay Friend Who Died

"The Way He Lived" by Emily Wing Smith.

Joel, the gay teen the book is about, is dead. The story is that he passed away on a hiking trip into the Grand Canyon after giving up the last of his water. The story is then told by 6 teens that were close to him.

1. Tabbatha his older sister
2. Adlen his friend and debate team partner.
3. Miles his best friend.
4. Claire his younger sister
5. Norah, Miles younger sister and the girl who's first crush was Joel.
6. And finally Lissa, Miles' girlfriend and Joel's next door neighbor.

The story is about them overcoming the loss of their friend, sibling, and crush. It also has the hint of the deceased character Joel's struggle with being gay. Though the book doesn't start with you knowing Joel was gay and never says it exactly, by the end of the book you'll be sure after many big hints.

All and all, though the book is mainly about dealing with the loss of someone close to you, the fact Joel was gay was still a large factor in the book. The book subtly hints at the fact Joel (growing up in an almost completely Mormon community just outside of Salt Lake City) didn't feel accepted maybe as much as he would have liked. The subtle undertones show the dangers of being judgmental without sounding preachy or know-it-all.

It's all around a hard book to explain and I certainly do it no justice. I will just have to suggest you try reading it yourself. I've read it four times. (it's not incredibly long)

- teen reader Austin

Thanks, Austin, for the recommendation and synopsis!

Add your review of "The Way He Lived" in comments!

Between You And Me - A Screenplay-Style Teen Lesbian Crush-On-A-Teacher Novel

Between You & Me by Marisa Calin

Phyre knows there is something life-changing about her new drama teacher, Mia, from the moment they meet. As Phyre rehearses for the school play, she comes to realize that the unrequited feelings she has for Mia go deeper than she’s ever experienced. Especially with a teacher. Or a woman.

All the while, Phyre’s best friend—addressed throughout the story in the second person, as "you"—stands by, ready to help Phyre make sense of her feelings. But just as Mia doesn’t understand what Phyre feels, Phyre can’t fathom the depth of her best friend’s feelings . . . until it’s almost too late for a happy ending.

This debut novel is told in a screenplay format, and there's also the mystery of Phyre's best friend - is "you" a guy or girl?  Add your review of "Between You & Me" in comments!

Above - Urban Teen Fantasy with an Intersex and Lesbian Characters

"Above" by Leah Bobet

Matthew’s father had lion’s feet and his mother had gills, and both fled the modern-day city to live in underground Safe, a secret community of freaks, ghost-whisperers, and disabled outcasts hidden beyond the subways and sewers. Raised underground, Matthew is responsible for the keeping of both Safe’s histories and the traumatized shapeshifter Ariel, the girl he took in, fell in love with – and can’t stop from constantly running away.

But Safe is no longer safe: the night after a frightening encounter in the sewers, Safe’s founder Atticus is murdered by the one person Safe ever exiled: mad Corner, whose coup is backed by an army of mindless, whispering shadows.

Only Matthew, Ariel, and a handful of unstable, crippled compatriots escape to the city that cast them out; the dangerous place he knows only as Above. Despite Ariel’s increasingly erratic behaviour and with the odds against them, Matthew must find a way to rescue Safe from Corner’s occupying army. But as his quest leads him through abandoned asylums and the dregs of urban poverty, Matthew discovers that the histories he’s devoted his life to aren’t true: Corner’s invasion — and Ariel’s terrors – are rooted in a history of Safe much darker and bloodier than Matthew ever imagined.

And even if he manages to save both home and Ariel, he may well lose himself.

As far as what's queer about "Above," there's a surprise Intersex character and a lesbian couple in the book...

Add your review of "Above" in comments!

Bully At The Blackboard - The issue of TEACHERS being the bully

This Article, "Bully at the Blackboard" from The Southern Poverty Law Center's Teaching Tolerance project, has some pretty stunning (in a bad way) stuff in it, including:

a teacher who teases a student for being messy, saying

“Your area looks like a pig sty. Piggy, piggy! Oink, oink!”

goading the other children to taunt him

with “oinks” and other pig sounds. Alone in the center, the boy was sobbing.

It also mentions a

2005 study in which 45 percent of sampled teachers said they had bullied a student at some point in their careers.

It's worth reading and considering the power teachers have... and how we need to make sure the teachers are not the bullies!

It makes you think about YOUR school experience in a whole new light, doesn't it?
 
Namaste,
Lee

ps - my thanks to Jasmine for letting me know about this article.