Hazing In Pro Baseball: Wear The Pink Schoolgirl Backpack. Why don't we just call it: "Major League Baseball Teaches Kids How To Bully"

The Phillies' Michael Schwimer

So there's this article this week in the New York Times, "Humility By The Pack" about this new hazing ritual going on in baseball - making the rookie relief pitcher wear a "girly" backpack while they walk across the field to the bullpen.

“It’s just one more way to get at your rookie,” said Mets pitcher Tim Byrdak, 37. “You have to walk all the way across the field to get to the bullpen, so you make the rookie carry this pink bag, and you can kind of humiliate him.”

The Phillies added a pink boa to their Rookie's bag:

For much of this season, Michael Stutes of the Philadelphia Phillies was forced to wear a Hello Kitty backpack and a pink feather boa purchased by Brad Lidge, a 10-year veteran, during a road trip to San Francisco. “I thought it wasn’t right for Stutes to be carrying a plain black bag,” Lidge said. “I was in Macy’s shopping for my kids. I just knew we wanted something pink.”

and there's a they-did-it-to-me-so-I'll-do-it-to-the-next-guy thing going on:

Last month, for instance, Stutes was able to rid himself of the Hello Kitty and boa ensemble when the Phillies called up Michael Schwimer, 25, a 6-foot-8 right-hander.

“He was very happy to hand it over to me,” Schwimer said. “I’ll just wear it with pride.”

It's nice that Schwimer (and some of the other relief pitchers) have a good attitude about this and laugh it off. And there are a bunch of non-pink backpacks used by other teams for the same hazing purposes, Yoda and Cookie Monster among them. But the general pink-as-punishment tone of the practice, and the article, reveal some really disturbing messaging in our culture and in the sport of baseball:

Namely, that being seen wearing (and possibly liking) a pink / girly / frilly item, as a man, makes you LESS of a man, and LESS of an athlete to be reckoned with.

That having to wear something pink and girly and frilly, as a man, should humiliate you.

That liking pink, or being effeminate, is bad.

That being like a girl is bad.

I hear it all the time in high schools, that it's harder to be an effeminate straight boy than a macho gay boy.

What's going on in Major League Baseball with this 'pink' hazing is dangerous territory. It's misogynistic and sets children up for the lock-step of "boys can't like pink." It reinforces the stereotypes about which gender is allowed to do what, and is toxic.

And while Trevor Hoffman, baseball’s career leader in saves, may think the bags are harmless,

“I think it’s amusing for the fans to see. It’s kind of a way of pointing out who’s the low man on the totem pole.”

this feeds a culture of hate.

This feeds our culture, where Jaheem Herrera, who was 11 years old, got taunted as 'gay' for carrying a pink backpack to his Dunaire Elementary School in Georgia.



After months of anti-gay taunts and violence, Jaheem killed himself in 2009.

So while it's nice to see the Phillies doing an It Gets Better Video,



You gotta wonder what Mike Stutes was thinking about while he read his lines in the video, having been made to wear the most stereotypically girly backpack/boa combination this season, and then passing that same getup along to the next rookie.

Right now, Major League Baseball is teaching bullying.

Putting aside the issue of why professional sports players are trying to humiliate their own team members (sportsmanship, anyone?), there is something the Phillies (and the rest of the teams engaged in this 'pink' hazing) can do right now to help make things better:

uncouple their rookie relief pitcher hazing from the message that pink is girly is bad.

What about it, Phillies?

2011 Summer Intern Wrap-Up! And the 13 Titles In The GLBTQ Biography and Memoir Bookshelf!

So it's the end of our 2011 summer internship, and here's a note from Soraya!

Dear Readers:
Sadly enough, my internship has come to a close with the end of the summer. I wanted to start off by thanking Lee so very much for giving me this opportunity. I’m extremely grateful that he put up with my awkward and confusing schedule, and that he trusted me to read and review all these wonderful books! I had a wonderful experience reading about all these people and learning from them. All of these stories were fantastic, from Patti Smith’s book to David Sedaris’. I learned many valuable lessons, but the one I think is the most important is to embrace everyone’s differences. Of course, as people, we’re all the same in so many ways. Most people use their differences against each other, but I think our differences are something that can bring everyone closer together. Somebody might have a weird family situation, but that is by no means a bad thing. Somebody else might have a religious view that they do not share with anybody, but that does not make him or her a bad person. In fact, everyone on Earth is part of a greater machine. I don’t mean that in a religious or conspiracy-theory way, I’m just using a machine as a metaphor. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, but that’s why we’re all here together. To help each other and support our differences. You can’t build a chair with just legs. So I want everyone to love what makes them different, and to love what makes everyone else different. That’s at least what I learned. Once again, I had the most wonderful experience, and I’ll really miss it. Thank you all so much!
With much love,
Soraya (Summer Intern 2011)

I'm so pleased with her main take-away:

"...I want everyone to love what makes them different, and to love what makes everyone else different."

YES! She put that so well!

And here, thanks to Soraya, is our GLBTQ Biography and Memoir Bookshelf. These links will also be live on the left-hand book list column of this blog from today on!

• "Deflowered: My Life In Pansy Division" by Jon Ginoli
• "Ellen: The Real Story of Ellen DeGeneres" by Kathleen Tracy
• "Just Kids" by Patti Smith
• "Like Me: Confessions of a Heartland Country Singer" by Chely Wright
• "Man In The Middle" by John Amaechi
• "Mayor of Castro Street, The: The Life and Times of Harvey Milk" by Randy Shilts
• "Me" by Ricky Martin
• "My Two Wives And Three Husbands: A True Love Story" by S. Stanley Gordon
• "Naked" by David Sedaris
• "Secret Historian: The Life and Times of Samuel Steward, Professor, Tattoo Artist, and Sexual Renegade" by Justin Spring
• "The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas" by Gertrude Stein
• "Transition: The Story Of How I Became A Man" by Chaz Bono
• "Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain" by Portia De Rossi

Thanks so much for all your hard work and these great reviews, Soraya!

Namaste,
Lee

"Man In The Middle" by John Amaechi

Last year, I had the immense pleasure of hearing John Amaechi speak at my school’s “Diversity Day.” He was the very last speaker at the end of a very long day, and most people expected his speech to drag on forever. However, everyone was extremely intrigued by what he had to say. Amaechi ended up being the school favorite, and not just because of his fantastic British accent.

That being said, I loved his biography, Man In The Middle. Amaechi has a distinctive literary voice that’s quite a pleasure to read. His writing style is very British. It is very factual and straightforward, but laced with little witticisms here and there. One of my favorite lines of his is when he says how he’s “experienced plenty of endorphin surges after an intense workout, but [he] must say [he’s] had better highs from a cup of Earl Grey tea.” And of course that line sounds even better when you hear it in your head in a British accent.

I really appreciate the honesty and authenticity that Amaechi brings forth in his stories and feelings. Though he was an NBA player, he admits that he hated sports and anything that made him sweat. And later in the book, he talks about how he felt that the whole locker-room situation in the NBA seemed more “gay” than he himself was. His upbringing also seems like quite a tough ordeal. He dealt with an emotionally abusive father who caused the rest of the Amaechi’s to run away to England. He even followed them there, only to threaten the young John’s mother. Much of his childhood worry is a mystery though, even to him, as his mother never divulged all the facts of her relationship with their father.

This book is definitely a great read for anybody with an interest in sports, or even literature and psychology. It’s an easy, fast read, but there are a few f-bombs thrown about and a bit of sexual imagery. Amaechi’s intelligence really shows in his style of writing, and I also greatly appreciated his use of gender-neutral pronouns.

One of the main messages I picked up from his autobiography was that not everyone fits into their stereotype. Would most people expect a 6’8” NBA player to be gay? Probably not. And in the same way, would somebody guess that the girl in the pink party dress with the bows in her hair is a lesbian? Maybe not. Somebody doesn’t have to look a certain way to be a certain way. And that’s more than okay. Amaechi got his start in basketball because somebody recruited him based on his height. He would have much rather been a psychologist, or even a doctor if he had the stomach for it. The way you are on the outside doesn’t always have something to do with who you are on the inside. It’s important to never judge somebody without getting to know them at first. Everyone should be given a chance to show who they are before somebody else gets to decide who they are.


Review by Soraya. Add your review of "Man In The Middle" in comments!

The Lambda Literary Foundation Changes Their Lammy Award Guidelines to both include Allied writers and highlight GLBTQ writers as Well

It's been an ongoing debate, whether the Lambda Literary Foundation should celebrate, with their annual Lammy Awards, books or authors.

See, two years ago LLF changed their guidelines, saying that only books with great GLBTQ characters written by GLBTQ authors would be eligible.

They wanted to promote GLBTQ writers, and while I think that's a laudable goal, I (and others) felt that the eligibility change was a dis-service to all our allies who write wonderful books with GLBTQ characters and themes. (And many of their past Lammy Winners, like Ellen Wittlinger, author of "Hard Love," are heterosexual Allies to our queer community.)

So it was announced yesterday that LLF has struck a new position moving forward, a compromise which I think answers both needs: celebrate the best GLBTQ books each year, no matter WHO wrote them (or who the authors fall in love with) while adding three new award categories to specifically celebrate GLBTQ authors!

Here's their new policy, taken from yesterday's press release:

LGBT authors will be recognized with three awards marking stages of a writer's career: the Betty Berzon Debut Fiction Award (to one gay man and one lesbian), the Jim Duggins Outstanding Mid-Career Novelist Prize (to one male-identified and one female-identified author), and the Pioneer Award (to one male-identified and one female-identified individual or group)

Awards for the remaining Lambda Literary Award categories will be based on literary merit and significant content relevant to LGBT lives. These awards will be open to all authors regardless of their sexual identity

All book award judges will be self-identified LGBT

Bravo, Lambda Literary Foundation!

***ADDENDUM***

I think Angie's comment below is very right-on. I, too, hope that LLF re-considers the structure of its three categories of awards for LGBTQ authors to include ALL LGBTQ authors!

Thanks, Angie!

***

Namaste,
Lee

The Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. National Memorial - The Dedication May Have Been Postponed, But We Can Listen To His Words Now

"With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope."

I'm very happy about the new National Memorial to honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

And while the hurricane back East may have delayed the official dedication that was to have taken place yesterday, I don't want to delay sharing this with you.

It is one of Dr. King's most famous speeches, and every time I hear it, I get goosebumps. I listen to it often, and while I've read the words on the page and on the screen, the impact of hearing and watching Dr. King delivering his speech is so powerful.

So watch and listen along with me, and be inspired to join in and work to change our world to let freedom ring...



Namaste,
Lee

Little Willow's Booklists at Bildungsroman - A Resource You HAVE To Know About!

Okay,
Teens.
Parents.
Librarians.

Little Willow has assembled an incredibly useful set of book recommendations over at her website, Bildungsroman.




With picks ranging from baby books to teen novels, and movie-style (G, PG, PG-13, R, etc...) ratings, this is a treasure trove.

Want to read some teen books about Prom? Books covering Orientation and/or Gender Roles, including many titles listed here at this blog? Books with positive and platonic student/teacher relationships? If-thens for middle schoolers? (here's an example: if you like Hatchet by Gary Paulsen, then try Call of the Wild by Jack London.) Curious about the Cybil Award Winners?

Her site is an invaluable resource, and I was so happy when I discovered it. (And I keep going back to it...)

And now I'm delighted to share it with you!

Namaste,
Lee

The Borrower: A Librarian and a might-be-gay 10 year old boy's Road Trip

By Rebecca Makkai

"Lucy Hull, a young children’s librarian in Hannibal, Missouri, finds herself both kidnapper and kidnapped when her favorite patron, ten-year-old Ian Drake, runs away from home. The precocious Ian is addicted to reading, but needs Lucy’s help to smuggle books past his overbearing mother, who has enrolled Ian in weekly anti-gay classes.

Lucy, a rebel at heart beneath her librarian’s exterior, stumbles into a moral dilemma when she finds Ian camped out in the library after hours with a knapsack of provisions and an escape plan. Desperate to save him from the Drakes, Lucy allows herself to be hijacked by Ian. The odd pair embarks on an improvised road trip from Missouri to Vermont, with ferrets and an inconvenient boyfriend thrown in their path. Along the way, Lucy struggles to make peace with her Russian immigrant father and his fugitive past, and is forced to use his shady connections to escape discovery."

Published as an adult book, since it revolves around Lucy's relationship with might-be-gay Ian - who is ten - I'm including it here. Check out this interview with the author, where she talks about the story behind writing "The Borrower." And add your review in comments!

"Deflowered: My Life In Pansy Division" by Jon Ginoli

Being both a musician and a music enthusiast, I actually was not surprised that I hadn’t heard of The Pansy Division. If there’s any genre that has more bands than anyone can keep track of, it would definitely be punk. The name really only stuck out to me because of its closeness to the band name Joy Division, one of my favorite punk/post-punk bands. But I was also intrigued because the only openly gay rock star anyone really hears about is Freddy Mercury. I was definitely excited to delve into Jon Ginoli’s account of his life and music career.

The only thing that really shocked me about his book was his style. Most autobiographies are written in almost the exact same tone. Ginoli writes about whatever he feels like, and is completely unapologetic about the language he decides to use. When I read the book I felt as though I was listening to an audiotape. I could hear every “goddamn” and F bomb he decided to drop into his story. He goes into a little more detail about his sexual encounters than one would expect. Some would say a little too much detail, but it doesn’t really faze me. I, for one, really enjoyed the colloquial style of his memoir.

His story is also something that attracted me. All the bands he started out listening to or cites as his influences, such as Blondie, Elvis Costello, Bob Dylan, and Patti Smith, are all artists that I currently listen to. Not only do I relate to his music tastes, but also in some forms of his teenage rebellion. His parents, being relatively cool with their rules are really similar to mine. Therefore, he had to rebel in small ways. He didn’t want to smile for his senior picture or wear a cap and gown for his graduation. I refuse to wear my retainer because I like my teeth slightly crooked, and I prefer wearing vintage boots to girly sandals. We also both share the same feeling about constantly being forced to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in schools. It was actually strange how relateable his story is to my own life.

My one criticism of his book is that he occasionally throws around words like “dyke” to just describe people he knew. I’ve always felt uncomfortable with people using words like that, whether they’re gay or not. I don’t believe that being a minority entitles someone to use a hurtful word outside of context just because it’s usually used to describe that person.

This book is once again for the more mature reader, only because the language he uses and the lack of censorship in many of his anecdotes would probably make a young kid uncomfortable to say the least.

What I liked most about his story is that he represents a change. There were very few, if any, openly gay punk musicians when the genre first started. People were afraid of being associated with that label, and the cost that association would bring them. But in starting the Pansy Division, an all-gay punk band, Ginoli and his band mates became the crossover artists for their genre. They proved that setting a precedent is totally doable. And even more so, it’s pretty awesome.

People shouldn’t be afraid to do what they want and be themselves at the same time. You never have to split your personality from your career. You just need to figure out your own way to go about doing it.


Review by Soraya. Add your review of "Deflowered: My Life In Pansy Division" in comments!

Who I Am - A Questioning Teen Novel

By M.L. Rice

Devin is an Air Force brat, band nerd and bookworm. After her father dies, she and her mom move to Los Angeles to start over.

But Jason, an arrogant bully, decides he's going to make her senior year miserable.

But when Devin meets Jason's sister, Melanie, things spark. They become friends, and Devin starts to realize that maybe, she wants them to be more than friends.


Add your review of "Who I Am" in comments!

If they're ugly on the inside, would YOU try to make them pretty on the outside?

So this professional photographer, Jennifer McKendrick, came across a facebook page where some high schoolers were viciously cyber-bullying other students.

She checked the names of the bullies, and it turns out they were the same girls that she had scheduled senior portrait shoots with.

She cancelled the sessions, saying

"I mean how could I spend two hours with someone during our session trying to make beautiful photos of them knowing they could do such UGLY things," McKendrick writes. "Realistically, I know by canceling their shoots it's not going to make them 'nicer people' but I refuse to let people like that represent my business."

Jennifer explains about it on her blog in this post, "I won't photograph ugly people," and here's the line I love best:

"If you are ugly on the inside, I’m sorry but I won’t take your photos to make you look pretty on the outside!"

I really like that there was some consequence for these teens that were cyber bullying their classmates.

What do you think?
Did Jennifer do the right thing?
Will it make a difference in the lives of those four bullies?

What would YOU have done in a similar situation?

My thanks to Karol for sharing this story with me, so I could share it with all of you!

Kid Lit Con teams up with RIF - Reading Is Fundamental to Raise Money and Get Books Into Kids' Hands!

The incredible Colleen Mondor and Jackie Parker-Robinson have forged a partnership between the upcoming kid lit conference of children's literature bloggers and the non profit Reading Is Fundamental, whose mission is to get books into the hands of kids who otherwise wouldn't get books. To create the next generation of passionate readers. To change the world.

I'm pretty excited that this conference which I'm so looking forward to now has a component about helping others and making a change beyond just our community.

If you're convinced, know about how RIF is losing it's government funding, and want to donate to help RIF in conjunction with Kid Lit Con, click here.

If you want to know more, Colleen explains it with such eloquence, I'm just going to send you to her blog to read all about it.

So thanks, Colleen and Jackie.

Books in the hands of Kids.

What a great joint mission!

And thanks to all of you, too!

Namaste,
Lee

"My Two Wives and Three Husbands: A True Love Story" by S. Stanley Gordon

The first thing I will say is that S. Stanley Gordon seems like a much cooler, more fun person than most of my friends (no offense to any of my friends who read these reviews).

I was immediately drawn into the story. Gordon gets straight to the point, saying that though he has many experiences to write about, he’ll stick to the topic of love for this book. His story moves quickly, starting with his Russian upbringing in a large family. As a child, he dealt with a lot of anti-Semitism, so he learned to hide his homosexuality so that he wouldn’t be made fun of. He also dated women and married a woman initially. But he slept with men quite a lot. I won’t give away the rest of his story, but it moves quickly and is really intriguing.

From Gordon’s writing style, you’d assume that he was anywhere from 20-40 years old. With his use of exclamation points and sentences like “Let’s face it: I was a teenage slut!” it’s hard to believe he’s about 88 years old. He writes with much enthusiasm, and it feels as though he’s a good friend, just telling you some stories. His zest and honesty combine to make a great style. Usually I’m all for darker, moodier, quirkier writing styles, but I really enjoyed his fresh tone. His excitement made me excited to read his story.

At 281 pages, the book is a quick read. It goes by swiftly, and is far from complicated. I would only advise that people who can handle certain linguistic elements read the book. Gordon is not afraid to curse, and he is not afraid to talk about sex and masturbation either. However, he never goes into too much detail, probably for the better. Though honestly, I’d recommend this book to just about anyone. His enthusiasm is extremely contagious.

I also really appreciate that all Gordon wants is for everyone to love and be loved. He talks about this in not only the story, but also the preface and very end. Love, in his opinion, makes everyone happy. And all Gordon wants for everyone is happiness.

But I’ve learned that to love someone else, you have to love yourself first. If you can love yourself, your enthusiasm for life, like Gordon’s, can be extremely contagious. I, for one, am glad that somebody else believes that love can save the world. It may sound too idealistic, but Gordon is right. Money and success are really important, but life isn’t much fun without somebody to love who loves you back. So I guess I’d just say that we should be spreading the love, because bringing positivity to the world is bringing the world in the right direction.


Review by Soraya. Add your review of "My Two Wives and Three Husbands: A True Love Story" in comments!

"Ellen: The Real Story of Ellen DeGeneres" by Kathleen Tracy

I’ve always liked Ellen DeGeneres. As a kid, "Finding Nemo" was one of the greatest movies ever in my opinion. And of course, I loved watching her dance around on her talk show. Of course, my first impressions of her stuck with me the most. I never really took the time to know more about her though. The only other things I remembered about her were her public relationship with Anne Heche and her happy marriage to Portia de Rossi. I must say, I’m glad I delved into Kathleen Tracy’s biography about DeGeneres.

It was interesting to hear about DeGeneres’ Southern upbringing and the traditional values her family upheld. She wasn’t allowed to get vaccines as a child because her family members were devout Christian Scientists. She wasn’t even allowed to take science classes at school because of her parents’ religious beliefs. I was also incredibly shocked to hear that Ellen was molested by her stepfather as a teenage girl. Of course, Tracy writes about DeGeneres’ television shows, her adult relationships, and her family life. But I was most shocked to hear about Ellen’s first “real love.” I was only surprised because he was her high school boyfriend. Tracy makes the point to say that Ellen was not one of those lesbians who knew of her sexuality at an early age. She struggled with it quite a lot, and really repressed it until she went to college.

Tracy’s style is typical of any other biographer. She writes the story in order, and she writes with clarity. I have to say though, I was a bit confused about chronology because she would often jump forward in time, and then jump right back to where she was. I found it to be a little off-putting when she decided to explain things that seemed like such common knowledge. It felt almost condescending, as if Tracy was the only one who knew of common sense and that the rest of us readers have much to learn. For example, at one point she mentions that DeGeneres’ older brother Vance treated her like a nuisance, “as typical of older brothers.” Maybe I’m just being nitpicky again, but I think it’s a bit obvious that older brothers don’t quite appreciate their younger sisters like they should. Other than that though, I commend Tracy on the book's being so well researched. She makes sure to point out an error in a 1997 issue of People Magazine, which apparently miscounted the number of spouses Ellen DeGeneres’ mother had. This book is pretty appropriate in terms of subject matter. The details are quite tame, so I think that really anybody above the age of 13 can handle it.

What I liked most about the book is that the introduction very clearly spells out the messages Tracy hopes for the reader to walk away with. She wants the reader to understand how dumb it is to define a person by his or her sexuality. Ellen lost a lot of her audience when the media decided to define her by her sexuality. The world really forgot how talented she was because they became so wrapped up in who she is as a person. Tracy makes sure to include a really meaningful quote from DeGeneres that I think really summarizes the whole essence of the book.

“My whole career has been based on making people feel happy. That’s all I ever wanted to do—was make people laugh and make people happy.”

What’s the point of putting somebody down who spreads such a positive message? Having a positive attitude is really the only way to make sure that the world responds positively to you. A little bit of happiness never hurt anyone.

Review by Soraya. Add your review of "Ellen: The Real Story of Ellen DeGeneres" in comments!

Twice Bitten - A Gay Teen Gets Bitten By A Vampire and A Werewolf and Has To Choose...

By Dave Ferraro

Jesse Hartwick is a teen celebrity, recently out of the closet, and just beginning to take off as the next big thing in Hollywood.

Everything changes when he meets Kurt, but is Jesse's celebrity status the only thing that Kurt is interested in?

When Lane comes into the picture, it just confuses Jesse more, but he can hardly deny the strong feelings he has for him, especially since Lane didn't even know that Jesse was a celebrity when he met him.

Then Jesse is attacked by a werewolf, and saved from certain death by a vampire, changing him into something altogether new. With his new abilities, he doesn't know who he can trust, let alone how to balance the spotlight with this aspect of himself that he must hide.

But in the end, he must decide the war inside and out: Vampire or werewolf? Kurt or Lane?


"Twice Bitten" was published by the author. Add your review in comments!

The Second-Ever Completely Subjective "Best Business Card At A Children's Literature Conference" Award

It's happened once before, and was so much fun I had to do it again.

At this most recent and amazing SCBWI Conference, I collected and gave out business cards as I met and chatted with some of the most fascinating writers, illustrators, agents, editors, art directors and industry professionals.

Here's a pic of all the cards I brought home:



But there was ONE card that really stood out. In fact, once you got one, every ELSE saw that you had it. People asked me about mine. It was the MUST HAVE of the conference...

Which one was it?

*drumroll*

The HARBINGER 02.02.2012 Lanyards, promoting my friend Sara Wilson Etienne's debut novel coming out from Putnam/Penguin!

Check out how cool this is!



I wore mine (along with my red RA Lanyard) all weekend as did hundreds of other attendees. In fact, at our Los Angeles Kid Lit Drink Night, there was a sea of the distinctive orange HARBINGER swag on display.

So Sara, for your ComicCon-inspired marketing moment of brilliance in being the first kid lit person I've seen to bring hundreds of customized lanyards promoting their novel to a SCBWI conference, you have won... well, I guess it's really just bragging rights.

So well done!

*cue applause*

Congratulations, and thank you all for playing...

And if you have an entry you think could win, introduce yourself to me at the upcoming New York SCBWI Winter Conference (#NY12SCBWI) and let's swap cards!

Namaste,
Lee