Queer Teens Responding To Adversity: Constance McMillen Wins Her Lawsuit Over Cancelled and then Fake Prom

"I'm so glad this is all over. I won't ever get my prom back, but it's worth it if it changes things at my school," McMillen said in a press release. "I hope this means that in the future students at my school will be treated fairly. I know there are students and teachers who want to start a gay-straight alliance club, and they should be able to do that without being treated like I was by the school."

-Constance McMillen

So I know you've been following this story, here and elsewhere, about how 18 year old Constance McMillen wanted to take her girlfriend to her Mississippi high school's prom, and wear a tux.

Her school freaked out, told her she couldn't.

When she insisted it was her right, they cancelled the prom rather than let her attend.

When she and the ACLU took them to court, the court said the private prom that had been planned instead was sufficient - as long as Constance was invited.

Constance showed at the prom with her girlfriend only to discover that it was a 'fake' prom - only 5 other students were there. All the rest of her schoolmates were celebrating at a 'real' private prom elsewhere.

Well the case finally resolved, and Constance WON!

McMillen's lawyers filed notice Monday in U.S. District Court to accept a judgment offer from the Itawamba County School District that will pay $35,000, plus attorney's fees. As part of the agreement, the school district also said it would follow a policy not to discriminate based on sexual orientation in any educational or extracurricular activities or allow harassment based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

It's good stuff, but Constance has paid a price for standing up for herself and other queer teens:

...being shunned in her small hometown of Fulton.

"I knew it was a good cause, but sometimes it really got to me. I knew it would change things for others in the future and I kept going and I kept pushing," McMillen said in an interview Tuesday.

Constance has really trailblazed for GLBTQ Teens, and it's great to see her being recognized for it - she was the Grand Marshall at the New York City Gay Pride Parade this June, and is even reportedly filming a gay rights documentary this summer!

How amazing to take setbacks that might have stopped other people, and rally back to fight... and ultimately win so others won't have to fight the same prejudice in the future.

Thanks, Constance!

I'm really proud of you.

Namaste,
Lee

So the High School And Parents Staged a FAKE Prom to keep Constance McMillen and Her Girlfriend from the REAL Prom!

So on Prom night, Constance went with her girlfriend to the "official" prom that they'd been invited to after all the drama... and guess what? There were only 5 other students there.

Mysteriously, everyone else was at ANOTHER prom. A Private Prom, to which Constance had NOT been invited. A prom that was a secret until the next day, when the Facebook photos broke, and well... you can't expect a whole school of juniors and seniors to keep quiet about their Prom, can you?

This was after the court ruled that they didn't need to force the school to have an inclusive prom because hey, Constance had been invited to a prom.

Yeah, she'd been invited to a decoy prom.

This just stinks.

Beyond swearing, there are 3 things each one of us can do:

1. Express your outrage. My friend Stephen wrote a letter to the Superintendent of Constance's district, and it's powerful. Stephen was kind enough to let me share it here:

Dear Superintendent McNeece,

I was saddened to read today that Constance McMillen was duped into attending a ‘fake’ prom, and was not told about or invited to a private prom attended by her classmates; a decision supported by school officials and parents.

As an educator, I just don’t understand how school officials could allow this to happen. You and I became educators because we care about children and because we have taken on a selfless act of providing a service for the benefit of students. We do this because we truly care about the health and well-being of our students.

When I read stories about bullying, harassment and discrimination I never expect it to come from the adults in the environment. What’s worse, it’s coming from adults who are supposed to be the most qualified, educated, knowledgeable and ‘open minded’ about the students they serve. Is it really an issue to you that a student is gay or lesbian? Is it really an issue to you that a gay or lesbian student wants to bring a same sex date to a prom? Is it really an issue to you that your students don’t all represent your core values? Isn’t education supposed to be the ‘great equalizer’ in our society? Regardless of your protected class status, which includes one’s sexual orientation, we are often told that if you work hard in school you will be judged on your merits and not the color of your skin or religion. Shouldn’t we also include the person that you choose to love?

I’m trying really hard to understand your decision making and why you as the Superintendent, the person who ranks the highest in your educational community; why you would allow this to happen. Where is your heart? Where is the little voice inside of you that tells you right from wrong? Where is that deepest part of you called a soul that has the capacity to show compassion for another human being, because that is what this is really about; not who Constance brings to a prom but your ability to look beyond your own personal biases and prejudices and say to yourself, ‘this young person is just as deserving and entitled as all other students and deserves the same rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of her own happiness.'

Had you allowed her to attend the prom with her female date and in a tuxedo, the duration of that event would have lasted about 3 hours, yet you chose to deny this student a basic human right, and now this drama has dragged out for several weeks and it makes you, the Superintendent, look bigoted, silly and completely foolish.

So the question is this: Are you an educator who cares about students…ALL your students, or are you there to pander to the biases and prejudices of your community?

In my opinion, you should step down from your job. You are not deserving of calling yourself an educator or a leader. An educator embraces and cares for all students and a leader, a TRUE leader, does what is right by students and teaches a bigoted community of parents that schools in their community are open to all students, regardless of their protected class status, and embraces all ideas, regardless of how controversial they may appear to be. All you have done is toed the line and reinforced a status quo in your community that is both negative and cruel.

In the end, you have deeply hurt a student that did not deserve this manner of cruelty. Forever, she will remember her last year of high school as a horrible reminder of the bigotry that exists at her school and in her community. And you, what did you learn from all this?

Sincerely,

Stephen B. Jimenez

You can send your letters here:


School Board Members

Eddie Hood, a082315@allstate.com

Jack Nichols, jnichols@itawamba.k12.ms.us

Harold Martin, hmartin@itawamba.k12.ms.us

Clara Brown, cbrown@network-one.come

Tony Wallace, twallace@nexband.com


Superintendent

Mr. McNeece, tmcneece@itawamba.k12.ms.us


Principal

Trae Wiygul, twiygul@itawamba.k12.ms.us


2. Express your support and encouragement for Constance. Maybe even send her a card. What would you say to her? Here's the address:

Chris Hampton, Public Education Associate
c/o Constance McMillen
ACLU Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender and AIDS Project
125 Broad St., 18th Floor, New York, NY 10004

3. Write your Congressperson and let them know how important it is for our government to protect GLBTQ students like Candace by passing The Student Non-Discrimination Act.

Here's the text of the HRC letter (and you can click on this link to get to the HRC site where you can sign a petition and send the letter electronically):

I'm writing to let you know that I strongly support the Student Non-Discrimination Act (H.R. 4530) that has been introduced in the House and is expected to be introduced in the Senate soon.

Public school students who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) are subject to pervasive discrimination, including harassment, bullying, intimidation and violence.

These students, like all other students, deserve an educational environment free of discrimination and harassment.

But while federal statutory protections expressly address discrimination on the basis of race, color, national origin, religion, sex and disability, LGBT students are not expressly protected by federal civil rights laws.

That is unacceptable.

This law would prohibit any school program or activity receiving federal financial assistance from discriminating against any public school student on the basis of actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity.

Discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity contributes to high rates of absenteeism, dropout, adverse health consequences, and academic underachievement among LGBT youth. When left unchecked, such discrimination can lead, and has led to, life-threatening violence and suicide.

Thank you for your time and attention to this important issue.

Thanks to Daniel for the original link, to Stephen for letting me share his brilliant and passionate letter, and to all of you for caring so much!

Namaste,
Lee


ps: the original disco ball photo was from here and I added the "fake prom" text to it.

No Prom, But A Trial. An update on the School that cancelled its Prom rather than let a lesbian student bring her girlfriend.

So the News:

U.S. District Judge Glen H. Davidson ruled that Constance McMillen's rights were violated by the school, and there will be a trial, but that he will not force the school to have the prom (which had been scheduled for April 2nd.)

What???

So the judge acknowledges it was wrong, but instead of correcting the problem (making the school have the prom including the lesbian student), he's going to let the injustice stand?

And when will the trial be? It's not known.

So depending on the outcome of the case, it might help kids next year who want to be out and bring their GLBTQ dates to their school proms (their schools might hesitate to discriminate if Constance's school is found guilty) but that doesn't really help Constance.

And, as I suspected, some parents got together and are having a "private" prom for Constance's High School - one where there is no legal recourse if they discriminate on who can attend.

And will Constance attend the private prom? She's not sure. On Tuesday she said:

"I'm going to school tomorrow (Wednesday) and will get a feel of how everybody feels about me. That will help me make my decision about whether I'm going to the private prom," McMillen said. "I want to go because all my junior and senior class will be there, but I don't want to be somewhere I'm not welcomed."

Kristy Bennett, ACLU Mississippi legal director, called the decision a "victory."

And maybe from an adult lawyer perspective it is a victory of sorts. Or a step-on-the-road-to-victory-eventually.

But for the teens involved, for Candace and her girlfriend, and for every other GLBTQ Teen going to or thinking about going to their prom this year? I have to say that this ruling stinks.

What do you think?

Share your thoughts in comments.

No Lesbians At Prom: Constance McMillen Wanted To Take Her Girlfriend to the Prom. Her High School CANCELLED the Prom rather than let her do it.

Constance is 18. And she was brave enough to stand up to her school's 'all dates must be of the opposite gender' prom rule and ask to bring her girlfriend. Oh, and she wanted to wear a tuxedo rather than a dress.

The school said no.

Constance got in touch with the ACLU, and with the threat of a lawsuit on their hands, instead of allowing the two girls to attend the prom together, the Itawamba Agricultural High School in Mississippi CANCELED the entire prom. For everyone.

And now, kids are going up to Constance and telling her she ruined their senior year.

But it's not Constance who is at fault.

The school is acting childishly in order to defend their discrimination, and their move not only acts to alienate two GLBTQ teens from the overall school community, but has forced Constance to be the adult. She has to stand up for her right to attend her High School prom with the date of her choice. To be Real about who she is and who she loves. And I applaud her for that.

The school's excuse? The controversy has become a "distraction" to the educational process.
But what they're missing is that this is a TEACHABLE moment. And right now, I think the school needs to hear our voices. Because what they have done isn't okay. And they need to learn that.

Wanna take action?

You can sign this petition over at change.org

Wanna do more? How about organizing your GSA to write a joint letter to the school board members, the superintendent, and the principal? Or write them yourself. (Think about what you're trying to accomplish in the letter. Are you trying to change minds or express anger? What outcome would you hope your letter accomplishes?)

Board Members

Eddie Hood, a082315@allstate.com

Jack Nichols, jnichols@itawamba.k12.ms.us

Harold Martin, hmartin@itawamba.k12.ms.us

Clara Brown, cbrown@network-one.come

Tony Wallace, twallace@nexband.com


Superintendent

tmcneece@itawamba.k12.ms.us


Principal

Trae Wiygul, twiygul@itawamba.k12.ms.us

Now when the school initially said they hoped some private party steps in and hosts the prom, that made me think they had a plan in place to have the prom at a private venue, hosted by some parents, that would allow them to discriminate against Constance and prevent her from attending with her girlfriend, since it would be a private event.

But interestingly enough, the opposite has happened, and a businessman in New Orleans has offered to host a GLBTQ-friendly prom for everyone (including Constance and her girlfriend) at one of his hotels.


It will be interesting to see what ultimately happens with the lawsuit, and where and if their Prom happens. But you know what makes me hopeful?

What Constance said when asked about how hard this has been:

"The fact that this will help people later on, that's what's helping me to go on."

And it will.

Go, Constance! Go!

Namaste,
Lee